Live Wire

A satirical spin on Trinidad and Tobago news stories

Volney verbal volley to voters

Justice Minister Herbert Volney was identified in today’s Sunday Express as the Cabinet official responsible for the proclamation of the controversial Clause 34 of the Administration of Justice (Indictable Proceedings) Act 2011. Thankfully, the St Joseph MP had an explanation for the hasty proclamation of that clause, which he shared …

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PP sees no more blue skies

Scene: Set of “Morning Edition.” Fazeer Mohammed to camera: “Good Morning, Trinidad & Tobago. We start straightaway with the explosive statement by the government that, from midday today, the sky will officially be described as white instead of blue. “The statement, made yesterday by the Prime Minister at the Diplomatic Centre, …

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DPP sifts through the political noise

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the most poignant comment regarding section 34 of the Administration of Justice Act was made some distance from the Trinidad and Tobago Parliament yesterday. DPP Roger Gaspard noted that President Maxwell Richards assented the Act, with the controversial clause, three days before Attorney General Anand Ramlogan decided not …

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Parliament debates suspicious dISH

Scene: Trinidad and Tobago Parliament. (Colm Imbert, MP for Diego Martin North/East, is on his feet). Colm Imbert: “Deputy Madame Speaker, we have convened here today in an emergency sitting of this house, to discuss amendments to this bill, which has been outrageously and unscrupulously passed by the government in …

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Jack confuffles the Guardian

National Security Minister Jack Warner was up to his old Jedi mind tricks yesterday as he denied any knowledge that he was being investigated by the IRS as reported exclusively in Wired868. And, possibly sensing the chance to rewrite history, Warner added the bizarre claim that: “I have never faced …

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Beverly Hills braces for 52-point crime plan

Scene: Office of Acting Commissioner of Police. Phone rings. “Good morning, Stephen Williams speaking.” “Good morning, Sir. Acting Assistant Commissioner Fredericks here.” “Yes, What can I do for you, AAC Fredericks?” “Well, sir, it’s about the Minister’s new 52-point crime plan…” “Ah, yes, the crime plan. Interesting reading, isn’t it?” …

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Criminal minds ready to tackle local crime

Scene: Office of the Minister of National Security Phone rings: “Good morning. Minister Warner speaking.” “Good morning, Minister.  Williams here.” “Yes, Commissioner. How can I help you?” “Well, Minister, you sent me some tips for tackling crime in East Port of Spain?” “Ah, yes. You mean the behavioural profiles?” “I …

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Acting CoP promises to bring Warner to book… eventually

Trinidad and Tobago’s acting Police Commissioner Stephen Williams said the Police Service has accepted DPP Roger Gaspard’s advice to investigate his line minister and ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner over a June 2011 bribery scandal involving disgraced former Asian Football Confederation (AFC) president Mohamed Bin Hammam. Williams warned that, although the …

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Motorists lose chunk of highway and good manners

The sudden collapse of six feet of the Beetham Highway yesterday afternoon prompted concerned Sea Lots resident Gabriel Garraway to race on to the road to warn motorists. According to Trinidad Express reporter Joel Julien, Garraway was cheerily and graciously greeted by one driver who told him: “Get out of …

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Prakash won’t fight for Jack

COP leader Prakash Ramadhar has refused to support an ultimatum from his party’s vice-chairman Vernon De Lima over National Security Minister Jack Warner’s continued Cabinet presence. Ramadhar, who once considered the loss of San Fernando Mayor Marlene Coudray to be an unpardonable offence, prefers to fight over ladies. Warner retorted …

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Acting CoP loses his bearings

“Reprehensible, unacceptable, unprofessional.” Acting Police Commissioner Stephen Williams was referring to the slap meted out by a plainclothes police officer to citizen Terrence Augustine, which was posted on youtube, rather than his own decision to make a public statement on a matter that is still being investigated. Williams was not …

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Olympic athletes still waiting on Gov’t photo finish

Trinidad and Tobago’s Olympic athletes continue to wait for their heroic homecoming. Sport Minister Anil Roberts promised a gala ceremony on September 3. However, this has now been adjusted to a “function” sometime between September 10 and 18. Wired868 wonders if Olympic athletes who don’t throw javelin and run 400 …

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