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Live Wire

A satirical spin on Trinidad and Tobago news stories

Filbert Street seeks Rapid Response to new police unit

Scene: TV studio in Port of Spain Presenter: “Welcome back to the DayBreak show and I’m delighted to introduce my next guest, Sergeant Snail of the newly formed Rapid Response Unit. Good morning Sgt Snail.” Sgt Snail: “Good morning, Fuzzy. Sorry I’m late. Traffic.” Presenter: “Haha; so you get stuck …

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AG gets tough on suspected criminals; Ish probably approves

Attorney General Anand Ramlogan SC set a new Senate record for jibberish yesterday as he broke down his proposed Bail Amendment Bill for the benefit of the Opposition, Independent Senators and, presumably, ordinary folks who are trying to keep up: “Currently the law is that you have two strikes and …

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Pundit asks public to lay off murderer

Let he who has never committed murder/suicide cast the first stone. Pundit Sunil Seetahal-Maharaj may attract the attention of a whole new clientele after his funeral service for Sanjeev Rambarran, who killed his ex-wife, Dian Paladee, before taking his own life last Friday. Seetahal-Maharaj chastised members of the public who …

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I’m winning! Griffith goes full “Sheen” while murders soar

The National Security Ministry looks set for a fresh round of musical chairs. Mr Live Wire was unreliably informed that Minister Gary Griffith is now under investigation for impersonating a statistician, molesting common sense and reproducing an unauthorised bootleg of Charlie Sheen’s infamous “I am winning” rant. Griffith was certainly …

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Vampire islands: S/Fdo hustler burgles Adams’ memorial

It turns out politicians are not the only ones in Trinidad and Tobago who are happy to exploit a corpse for personal gain. At Presentation College in San Fernando, the past pupils’ association president Steven Samlalsingh set up a memorial, which included a photograph, candles and flowers, for former student …

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Madder than dat: Mr Live Wire goes off

You want to hear madness? Since comedian Learie Joseph is probably too busy to take requests, Mr Live Wire will oblige: Madness is… when you crash your car after being distracted by an electronic billboard; only to realise it was a video ad from an insurance company Madness is… when …

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Diabolical Guardian: Can A-Team save Saint from Kim Judy-Un?

Mr Live Wire reviews a tragi-comedy as a motivational speaker fights for his freedom after being wrongful imprisoned for eight years by uncaring wardens of a once-respected newspaper. Scene: Trinidad Guardian headquarters on St Vincent Street, Port of Spain. Characters: Garth St Clair (played by Danny Glover), Kim Judy-Un (played …

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