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Well, that was cringe-worthy. It is never easy to see a major nation floundering as they try to balance the country’s goal for greatness with appeasing a giant, awkward, perma-tanned baby who keeps fluffing potential tap-ins, while critics flood the internet with memes poking fun at his unsuitability for his job.
But enough about US president Donald Trump’s Iran negotiations.
In totally unrelated news, what’s up with Cristiano Ronaldo at the 2026 World Cup?
(via Scotty Rankin.)
Turns out DR Congo were totally unperturbed by Portugal trying to win the game with a cardboard cut-out of their iconic attacker upfront, as the African debutantes and minnows held the pre-tournament contenders to a shock 1-1 Group G draw in Houston. (I mean Algeria’s only win in this calendar year was a scrappy 1-0 Fifa playoff triumph over Jamaica!)
Maybe Congo star Yoane Wisse and his teammates already watched Weekend with Bernie.
The good news? Ronaldo’s failure to get it up on live television was a rare anti-climax in this tournament so far.
Norwegian Viking Erling Haaland plundered two goals against Iraq, General Kylian Mbappe put Senegal goalkeeper Edouard Mendy in front of a firing squad in France’s emphatic win, and playmaker Jude Bellingham gave his best Xerses-impression as England crushed a plucky Croatia 4-2.
Even former Sweden star Zlatan Ibrahamovic remains in freakishly good form in the Fox Sport studios, as he continues to treat “colleague” Alexei Lalas to the most brutal repertoire of cheeky insults since the Islamic Republic Guard’s Lego Wars offensive.
And then there is Lionel Messi, who set new heights of greatness with a sublime hattrick against Algeria, which matched the all-time World Cup scoring records and established some new ones. (Incidentally, Algeria defeated Congo this year.)
Simultaneously, there is apparently an Argentine ‘number 10’ who goes around trying to dismember opponents and who was a totally unremarkable player until Gianni Infantino became Fifa president and demanded that referees do his bidding.
Also Messi. That is, if your television screen, football IQ and sense of proportion doesn’t work too good.
Meanwhile, Canada continues to run USA close in the race for the worst hosts since P Diddy.
Having deprived Ghana the right to use its star midfielder Thomas Partey in their tense 1-0 win over Panama, due to Partey’s ongoing race case, Canada went for an encore by blanking Ivory Coast winger Elye Wahi permission to fly in to play Germany on Saturday.
Wahi was detained by French police last month for suspect spot-fixing but has still not been charged.
So, a host nation is determining which players can and cannot play in games in their territory, with two Africans turned away so far.
Villareal midfielder Thomas Partey was denied the chance to represent Ghana, in their World Cup opener against Panama, by Canada immigration authorities.
Yet not a peep from Infantino, who might be too busy sucking the life out of fans’ wallets to notice that there is something very wrong with this World Cup—starting with three host nations that can’t stand each other and would not even allow freedom of movement for players and officials, let alone supporters, for the six-week tournament.
Play farse and blank General Mbappe a Canadian visa for failure to track back nah.
See if French midfield hardman Aurelien Tchouameni doesn’t make a North American immigration officer get intimately close to his work desk.
Just in case…
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Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.
