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Live Wire

A satirical spin on Trinidad and Tobago news stories

What’s in a name?

Chutney soca promoter George Singh has threatened suit to protect his trademark “Chutney Soca Monarch” from ex-San Fernando Mayor Ian Atherly’s “National Chutney Soca Monarch”. Atherly insisted that his competition sounds nothing like Singh’s and sees no potential for confusion; especially as Singh’s national Chutney Soca Monarch used to be …

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Manning gets the treatment

Health Minister Dr Fuad Khan admitted it took 21 days for the Mt Hope Hospital to relay blood test results to ex-Prime Minister Patrick Manning although the results were completed within 24 hours. However, he said that was because Manning didn’t follow proper procedure. Dr Khan didn’t confirm whether proper …

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Kisses cost extra

Kiss Baking Company raised the price of its products by between 50 cents to $1 on Monday and finally got around to offering a public explanation of sorts, three days later. Customers insist that, at these new prices, they should at least get a cuddle too.

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Toilet principal unflushed

Blackman’s Private School principal Arlene Blackman was yesterday charged on two counts of cruelty after allegedly flushing the heads of two students in a school toilet; or, in American jargon, adding First World “intensive, interrogation techniques” to the school’s disciplinary code. Blackman faces a fine of between $5,000 and $10,000 …

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Gypsy abandons sinking ship

Culture Minister Winston “Gypsy” Peters is among three government ministers who refused to support MP Jack Warner’s hanging petition on the grounds that Cabinet does their thinking for them. Gypsy, who once supported Warner’s fight against ex-UNC leader Basdeo Panday, knows a thing or two about sinking ships. In other …

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A Wasa time

WASA, which was formed by an Act of Parliament in 1965, still doesn’t know what it is doing and will pay a Spanish consultancy firm $5.2 million for four months of recommendations. Wired868 expects the first recommendation to be: Get someone to fix your problems, not talk about them.

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Express stalks Manning

The family and colleagues of ex-PM Patrick Manning have tried to keep his medical business private while he recovers from a stroke but the Trinidad Express persists on publishing scoops from unnamed sources regarding his health. Wired868 understands that Manning may or may not be dictating a message for “Janice …

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Ish, is that you?

The US Embassy is appealing for assistance in locating an American fugitive believed to be hiding in Trinidad and Tobago. The man has several known aliases; none of which, apparently, is Ish or Steve.

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Advice for the National Security adviser

The PM’s National Security adviser Gary Griffith claimed to have prior knowledge of the Police Commissioner’s pending $.9 million airplane contract prior but did not tell the PM or National Security Minister. Wired868 humbly suggests that the National Security adviser reads over his job description.

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Express, Guardian follow Wired868’s lead

Wired868 is pleased that the Trinidad Express and Guardian newspapers are following our lead in publicising former beauty queen Candice Worrell’s brave fight for her life after a brutal assault; even though neither longstanding media house could be bothered to write its own story and just lifted ours without proper accreditation. …

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Brainchild kidnapped without ransom

The Trinidad and Tobago Air Support Services suggested that its $.9 million light aircraft contract did not need to go to tender as no one else in the country can provide the service… Except for the guy who originally came up with the idea and has begged the National Security …

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National enquirers

SWRHA CEO Anil Gosine announced an impending investigation into an ambulance’s refusal to pick up a desperate mother and her since deceased 21-month-old son last Friday. The probe joins a queue that includes a bevy of UDECOTT contracts, the Piarco Airport scandal, CLICO and HCU collapses, diesel racket, Petrotrin GTL …

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