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Live Wire

A satirical spin on Trinidad and Tobago news stories

Sandy’s slippage of the tongue

The National Security Minister admitted there has been some “slippage” since last year’s State of Emergency in terms of citizenry security and he is still working on a better blend of relationship between police and nationals. Brigadier John Sandy then admitted his political lingo was a work in progress and …

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TTFF is figment of Tony’s reinvention

The TTFF Authorisation Committee chairman and marketing man, Anthony Harford, described the football body being stripped of its furniture and removable assets at its Dundonald Street home as “a wonderful opportunity to reinvent itself“. In related news, Port of Spain Mayor Louis Lee Sing reminded environs of his zero tolerance …

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Warner tongue-tied on TTFF chaos

Works Minister and former TTFF Special Advisor Jack Warner refused to speak when approached by the media for comment on yesterday’s police raid and the football body’s insistence that he took everyone’s money. Wired868 cannot confirm that the MP asked to be woken up when it is over.

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Football men get their balls back

Caledonia AIA football coach Jamaal Shabazz was allowed to take several bags of footballs from the TTFF office yesterday; even as all other equipment was seized due to the non-payment of an interim award by the football body. Wired868 cannot confirm that the imminent fall of the TTFF is prompting …

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Mt Hope Sec applies for nursery status

Mt Hope Secondary students complained they are being targeted by the principal for not wearing the proper uniform and getting to school late. Students claimed that they became ill when rain supposedly soaked them while they were locked out for tardiness and desperately trying to get into school to learn. …

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Pulverise And Serve

Police Service and Welfare Association President Sgt Anand Ramesar admitted lawmen crossed the line during their duties at the Panorama semi-finals and suggested that anger management and retraining was necessary for men trained to concentrate on force. Ramesar’s sentiments contrasted with the more combative tone of Police Commissioner Dwayne Gibbs …

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See no evil

A 26-year-old State witness, Kevin Ellis, was murdered just a day after providing the police with information on an attempted murder in Ste Madeleine. Neither the Police nor the State has yet explained how DNA legislation, a light aircraft or the hangman’s noose would protect people who report crimes to …

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What’s in a name?

Chutney soca promoter George Singh has threatened suit to protect his trademark “Chutney Soca Monarch” from ex-San Fernando Mayor Ian Atherly’s “National Chutney Soca Monarch”. Atherly insisted that his competition sounds nothing like Singh’s and sees no potential for confusion; especially as Singh’s national Chutney Soca Monarch used to be …

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Manning gets the treatment

Health Minister Dr Fuad Khan admitted it took 21 days for the Mt Hope Hospital to relay blood test results to ex-Prime Minister Patrick Manning although the results were completed within 24 hours. However, he said that was because Manning didn’t follow proper procedure. Dr Khan didn’t confirm whether proper …

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Kisses cost extra

Kiss Baking Company raised the price of its products by between 50 cents to $1 on Monday and finally got around to offering a public explanation of sorts, three days later. Customers insist that, at these new prices, they should at least get a cuddle too.

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Toilet principal unflushed

Blackman’s Private School principal Arlene Blackman was yesterday charged on two counts of cruelty after allegedly flushing the heads of two students in a school toilet; or, in American jargon, adding First World “intensive, interrogation techniques” to the school’s disciplinary code. Blackman faces a fine of between $5,000 and $10,000 …

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Gypsy abandons sinking ship

Culture Minister Winston “Gypsy” Peters is among three government ministers who refused to support MP Jack Warner’s hanging petition on the grounds that Cabinet does their thinking for them. Gypsy, who once supported Warner’s fight against ex-UNC leader Basdeo Panday, knows a thing or two about sinking ships. In other …

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