Live Wire

A satirical spin on Trinidad and Tobago news stories

Jack plays bridge at Sea Lots

The Jack Warner Road Show hit Sea Lots yesterday as the former FIFA vice-president showed up with media in tow and pretended to be as influential as ever despite losing nine football and political posts within the last two years. His comic routine has lost none of its shine. Warner …

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Rowley violently assaults CAL merger

Opposition Leader Keith Rowley might have had a Trinidad Express reporter seeking therapy yesterday after he said that Caribbean Airlines’ costly take over of Air Jamaica was bleeding Trinidad and Tobago financially  “like a chop neck.” Mr Live Wire cannot confirm that Rowley then said: “Just keeping it real, son.” …

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Dr Death: Health Minister puts common sense on life support

One in five persons who buy pharmaceutical drugs today will be given counterfeit products. Some of those unwitting customers will suffer fatal reactions. That’s all. Have a nice day, Trinidad and Tobago. Health Minister Dr Fuad Khan again demonstrated his profound usefulness and suitability for a managerial role by scaring …

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Airport employee rewrites rules for take-home pay

A brazen employee allegedly grabbed as much cash as he could hold, in full view of security cameras, and walked off the job in Trinidad. But enough about Jack Warner. A 23-year-old Cambio Exchange employee at the Piarco International Airport supposedly drew up his own retirement package on Saturday morning …

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Principal suspended for slapping standard three boy

A Rio Claro primary school teacher has been suspended and may face criminal charges after slapping a standard three student. The student, according to the Trinidad Guardian report, was allegedly struck with such force that the principal’s hand printed out on his face. Medical officials, we cannot confirm, said the …

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CLICO Commissioner set to batter Monteil; with a pillow

CLICO commissioner Sir Anthony Colman has had enough of former finance director Andre Monteil’s refusals to testify before the commission of enquiry and, according to the Trinidad Express, is set to launch criminal proceedings. No one, not even a millionaire with political connections, is above the law. So exactly how …

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“Kam-Jack” on the rocks; PM calls Warner an “oxymoron”

Jack Warner probably has British soul singer Adele’s “21” album on repeat these days. And there was another excuse for ice cream and chocolates last night as Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar recommended that he “clear his name” rather than worry about the Chaguanas West seat. Persad-Bissessar seemed unimpressed with Warner’s …

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Jack spoiling for a fight in Chaguanas

Jack Warner did not try to prove his innocence of a stream of financial crimes last night at the Pierre Recreation Ground, Charlieville. He just tried to taint everyone else by association. FIFA, he said, paid bills at the Centre of Excellence. Only FIFA never actually claimed ownership of the …

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