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Live Wire

A satirical spin on Trinidad and Tobago news stories

Gordon’s got a gun… and he’s not afraid to lose it

Eighty-two-year-old Integrity Commission chairman Ken Gordon faces the possibility of a charge for neglecting to secure his registered firearm and ammunition after losing his loaded .38 handgun near the Brian Lara Cancer Society on Carnival Monday. The loaded weapon was found by a schoolboy, according to the Trinidad Express, and …

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Army Private exposed before Valentine’s Day

A Trinidad and Tobago Army private and his female companion were exposed yesterday after being found guilty of indecent behaviour in the Port of Spain’s Magistrate Court on Carnival Monday, three days before Valentine’s Day. “Indecent behaviour”, in this case, is a euphemism for having sex in public. And by …

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NCBA stifles Carnival internet stream… and common sense

Economics 101: How do you raise interest and help ensure the long term viability of Carnival? If you are a 21st century homo sapien, the internet might be your first and most cost-effective stop. Encourage the Trinidad and Tobago media and Carnival participants to take photographs and show videos of revellers …

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Don’t you know… I was a designated driver

Scene: Office of the Minister of National Security. Phone rings… Minister Warner: “Good afternoon, Jack speaking.” Acting COP Williams: “Good afternoon Jack, Stephen here.” Warner: “Ah, Stephen, how are you today?” Williams: “Well, actually, I’ve had the President on the phone to me.” Warner: “Maxwell called you?” Williams: “Yes, and …

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T&T copyright groups bubbling for a fight; no getaway

A lecturer and medical students at the Eric Williams Medical Science Complex were relieved of their money, jewelry, cellular phones, laptop computers, wallets and iPads yesterday at 9.30 am. North Central Regional Health Authority (NCRHA) chairman Dr Shehenaz Mohammed said security would be beefed up at the complex as a …

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President Pussyfoot cock-up

Justice Anthony Carmona, the Trinidad and Tobago President-elect, sang calypso under the sobriquet “Lord Pussyfoot” while he was a UWI student and once advanced to the Calypso Monarch Semi-final. There is no information available about how Lord Pussyfoot fared in Skinner Park but, if it was a rough afternoon, Mr …

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Beckham conquers Paris and ego-checks Zlatan

There is nothing footballers enjoy more, say those in the know, than exposing their most private detail to teammates. “Show me yours and I will show you mine…” We’re talking about payslips, of course. England football icon and new Paris Saint Germain midfielder David Beckham has lifted the bar on …

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Dr Jekyll and Mr Hafizool fight for public space

Former AG Ramesh Maharaj described this week’s stunning news as one of the biggest scandals in the history of Trinidad and Tobago. Opposition Leader Keith Rowley called it a travesty and insisted that the controversial State appointee was unsuitable for his position. Maharaj and Rowley were not discussing the TSTT’s …

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TSTT hangs up on Machel

Can you hear me now? After weeks of speculation and some public grumbling, TSTT seems set to finally hang up on soca star Machel Montano, according to a Trinidad Guardian report, as a backlash to his conviction for assault. And, in keeping with a well honoured tradition, TSTT will apparently …

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London fogs up the PP with resounding Tobago win

Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar’s high-profile ally was left vowing to rebound from the anguish of a humiliating public defeat yesterday. But enough of soca star Machel Montano and his plea for empathy to “Fêteology 101” partygoers. What about TOP leader Ashworth Jack and his resounding defeat in the THA elections? …

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Soca stars uncover indentured labour racket

Trinidad and Tobago soca stars Ian “Bunji Garlin” Alvarez and Fay Ann Lyons-Alvarez might have executed a daring daylight escape from indentured servitude yesterday, right in the land of their birth. Locals might have heard of the alleged labour racket by another name. Caribbean Prestige Foundation (CPF) chairman William Munro …

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