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Live Wire

A satirical spin on Trinidad and Tobago news stories

CLICO Commissioner set to batter Monteil; with a pillow

CLICO commissioner Sir Anthony Colman has had enough of former finance director Andre Monteil’s refusals to testify before the commission of enquiry and, according to the Trinidad Express, is set to launch criminal proceedings. No one, not even a millionaire with political connections, is above the law. So exactly how …

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“Kam-Jack” on the rocks; PM calls Warner an “oxymoron”

Jack Warner probably has British soul singer Adele’s “21” album on repeat these days. And there was another excuse for ice cream and chocolates last night as Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar recommended that he “clear his name” rather than worry about the Chaguanas West seat. Persad-Bissessar seemed unimpressed with Warner’s …

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Jack spoiling for a fight in Chaguanas

Jack Warner did not try to prove his innocence of a stream of financial crimes last night at the Pierre Recreation Ground, Charlieville. He just tried to taint everyone else by association. FIFA, he said, paid bills at the Centre of Excellence. Only FIFA never actually claimed ownership of the …

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Tunapuna Police creates own SOE on Un-Fairley Street

Upper Fairley Street in Tunapuna is supposedly plagued by drug trafficking and suffered two murders within the last two years. Senior Superintendent David Abraham thinks he knows just the right response. Start making drug-related arrests and let the courts clean up the area? Nope. That would take too long. Infiltrate …

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Fuad’s family affair; taxpayers’ bill included

Do you know what your wife is up to while you’re at work? Health Minister Dr Fuad Khan has solved that problem albeit at the taxpayers’ expense. The Trinidad Guardian reported today that Dr Carol Bhagan-Khan, wife of the Health Minister, is set to be unveiled as the new executive …

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Warner strips to his silk boxers; oh dear

National Security Minister Jack Warner has vowed to treat the Trinidad and Tobago media to his British “silk” boxers. Even Wired868, who has taken up the challenge to see Warner in court, is praying that the former FIFA Vice-President is referring to his expensively assembled legal team of British Queen’s …

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Live Wire: Opposition adopts swinging position on hanging

Scene: Office of the Opposition Leader PNM Senators Faris Al-Rawi and Fitzgerald Hinds walk in and stiffly shake hands with Opposition Leader Keith Rowley. Al-Rawi sits closest to the door, which is slightly ajar. Rowley walks behind the two seated Senators and slams the door shut. Keith Rowley: You two …

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The Prime Minister remembers an Iron Lady; sorta

Scene: Office of the Prime Minister 8.01 am: Phone rings on the Prime Minister’s desk. 9.30 am: Phone rings again. 10.00 am: Phone rings again. 11.35 am: Phone rings. Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar answers.   GISL CEO Andy Johnson: Good morning, Prime Minister. Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar: Don’t “good morning” …

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Yes, Prime Minister: Kamla puts foot down on Warner issue

Scene: Office of the Prime Minister (National Security Minister Jack Warner walks in and closes the door behind him) National Security Minister Jack Warner: Yes, Prime Minister. The AG told me you wanted to see me? Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar: It is over, Jack. This FBI business is the last …

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Kamla’s cold war

Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar has spent the past 72 hours afflicted by an unusual strain of the cold. Persad-Bissessar apparently shivers at the mere thought of attending any function that might have reporters present, such as Cabinet or Shouter Baptist Day celebrations. Yet, the Prime Minister had …

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Million dollar cocaine bust-up; arrests not included

Scene: Office of the Acting Commissioner of Police Phone rings. Acting Commissioner of Police Stephen Williams: “Good morning, Williams of Scotland Yard speaking. Hee hee.” Assistant Superintendent of Police Joanne Archie: “Good morning, Mr Williams, Joanne here.” Williams: “Ah, Joanne, how are you today? What can I do to you, …

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Daryan allegedly turns FBI songbird; Mr Live Wire has a request

It seems that Daryan Warner’s ankles were not as captivating as CCN suggested. Reuters investigative journalist Mark Hosenball alleged today that the elder son of National Security Minister Jack Warner has been assisting the FBI in the United States since late last year in two football related matters that could …

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