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Live Wire

A satirical spin on Trinidad and Tobago news stories

Machel floats away… and takes Warner and Heeralal to safety

There is nothing to suggest that Trinidad and Tobago soca star Machel Montano is in any way linked to the Flying Squad that Jack Warner is supposedly innocently guilty of restarting. But, when Machel floated out the Magistrates’ Court today, he was not alone—in a manner of speaking. Machel was …

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Cabbage Patch Kid buries self with Sea Lots post

The Trinidad and Tobago Police Service responded to the grieving Sea Lots community yesterday with rubber bullets and tear gas. There were no reports of residents hurling anything but insults at lawmen after a mother and her two children were knocked down and killed while allegedly standing on the pavement …

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Warner pleads guilty and innocent to Flying Squad; then absolves himself

National Security Minister Jack Warner accepted blame this weekend for the re-deployment of a “Flying Squad”. Not the penalty though. That belonged to the lesser people. “Ultimately the blame rests with the minister,” said Warner, “and if there are other guys who are under me who are performing in a …

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Warner avoids Haiti and logic… but what about non-flying squad?

National Security Minister Jack Warner said he was too busy to discuss the Caribbean’s crime problem in a meeting of regional representatives in Haiti, earlier this week. Well, that’s one way to avoid an awkward trip. Warner is unlikely to be popular in Port-au-Prince since the controversy regarding FIFA and …

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Gunning for safety? Really?

A 43-year-old Police Sergeant with 18 years’ service died at the San Fernando General Hospital last night after he was shot with his own 380 Baretta pistol yesterday afternoon while trying to apprehend bandits. So, if a trained policeman who was fully aware of the danger he was heading towards …

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Warner invites top US crime fighter to Trinidad; and it isn’t April 1st

National Security Minister Jack Warner told the local media that he has invited former New York Police Chief Bill Bratton, known as “Mr Zero Tolerance”, to lecture Trinidad and Tobago lawmen. Mr Live Wire was unreliably informed that reporters broke into hysterical laughter at the notion that someone referred to …

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Gordon’s got a gun… and he’s not afraid to lose it

Eighty-two-year-old Integrity Commission chairman Ken Gordon faces the possibility of a charge for neglecting to secure his registered firearm and ammunition after losing his loaded .38 handgun near the Brian Lara Cancer Society on Carnival Monday. The loaded weapon was found by a schoolboy, according to the Trinidad Express, and …

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Army Private exposed before Valentine’s Day

A Trinidad and Tobago Army private and his female companion were exposed yesterday after being found guilty of indecent behaviour in the Port of Spain’s Magistrate Court on Carnival Monday, three days before Valentine’s Day. “Indecent behaviour”, in this case, is a euphemism for having sex in public. And by …

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NCBA stifles Carnival internet stream… and common sense

Economics 101: How do you raise interest and help ensure the long term viability of Carnival? If you are a 21st century homo sapien, the internet might be your first and most cost-effective stop. Encourage the Trinidad and Tobago media and Carnival participants to take photographs and show videos of revellers …

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Don’t you know… I was a designated driver

Scene: Office of the Minister of National Security. Phone rings… Minister Warner: “Good afternoon, Jack speaking.” Acting COP Williams: “Good afternoon Jack, Stephen here.” Warner: “Ah, Stephen, how are you today?” Williams: “Well, actually, I’ve had the President on the phone to me.” Warner: “Maxwell called you?” Williams: “Yes, and …

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T&T copyright groups bubbling for a fight; no getaway

A lecturer and medical students at the Eric Williams Medical Science Complex were relieved of their money, jewelry, cellular phones, laptop computers, wallets and iPads yesterday at 9.30 am. North Central Regional Health Authority (NCRHA) chairman Dr Shehenaz Mohammed said security would be beefed up at the complex as a …

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