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Machel who?! Keith Rowdy and a rubber-waist cop take Road March

There is a time and a place for everything. Context, in other words, is key.

On 21 October 2014, Leeds United’s Italian defender Giuseppe Bellusci remonstrated angrily with Norwich City striker Cameron Jerome and shouted “negro” at the latter player. An FA charge of racial abuse swiftly followed.

The FA accepted Bellusci’s defence that he actually said “nero” which means “black eye” in Italian. And Jerome sportingly conceded.

Photo: Norwich City striker Cameron Jerome (left) and Leeds defender Giuseppe Bellusci are cool now. Bellusci only wanted to punch him. (Courtesy UK Guardian)
Photo: Norwich City striker Cameron Jerome (left) and Leeds defender Giuseppe Bellusci are cool now.
Bellusci only wanted to punch him.
(Courtesy UK Guardian)

It is not every day that a young man is asked to apologise to a man who threatened to punch his lights out. But, every so often, it is possible to be wrong and right.

And that brings us to Opposition Leader Dr Keith Rowley and an unidentified rubber-waist lawman who both came to national prominence for taking a wine over the Carnival season.

On February 4, DCP Harold Phillip warned revellers to desist from gyrating on policemen during the bacchanal season.

“Well, certainly being lewd in the public is in fact an offence,” Phillip told a press briefing, “and with respect to wining on police officers performing duties, we will ask the public to desist in so doing.”

Phillip’s statement came days after Gary Griffith was sacked as National Security Minister, which was a pity. He should have been deported on the spot.

For almost 363 days in the year, Trinidad and Tobago citizens “steups” when they see the police. It would take a heart of stone to deny them the perks of a Carnival shift when half-dressed women are sometimes in the mood for the equivalent of a cat’s scratching post.

Photo: Ahem, I'm looking for a bumper wanted for a spate of back injuries... I think this one requires some undercover work!
Photo: Ahem, I’m looking for a bumper wanted for a spate of back injuries…
I think this one requires some undercover work!

And the policeman in question was certainly not made of stone.

So it’s okay for Johnny Abraham to shoot down citizens in the street but illegal for an officer to warm up a reveller?

Mr Live Wire has a sneaking suspicion that Calypso Rose was still wearing mini-skirts the last time DCP Phillip got a good wine. Haters gotta hate.

And that brings us to the Opposition Leader. They call him Keith. Keith Rowdy.

Well, maybe not. Rowley didn’t do anything worthy of a spot in the “Vagabond” video much less enough to get on Anil Roberts’ team for a Friday night lime. But there are several shots of the 65-year-old Diego Martin West MP dancing closely with a supposedly 17-year-old Ravina Rampersad and standing side-by-side with arms around each other’s waist during San Fernando’s Carnival celebrations.

UNC supporters almost passed out with righteous indignation. Just as PNM supporters did when Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar turned up at an all-inclusive fete in silly stockings.

According to UNC followers, Rowley embarrassed his wife and his post as Opposition Leader and displayed scandalous behaviour for a wanna-be Prime Minister.

Photo: But wha de...
Photo: But wha de…

PNM supporters suggested Rowley had a civic duty to wine on any bumper that presented itself without prejudice and called Rampersad a poster-girl for racial harmony.

Elsewhere, Police public information officer Joanne Archer said the wining policeman would probably be investigated for a breach of discipline. Police Social and Welfare Association official Inspector Michael Seales countered that the incident could somehow bolster relations between the police and the public.

At the risk of being repetitive: Calm down Trinidad and Tobago! Let Mr Live Wire adjudicate.

Officer Endless Wuk should have a series of unpleasant shifts coming his way. A friendly and touristy swish of the hips is fine when confronted with a Carnival bumper on duty. Once you bend your knees and arch your back, it is the equivalent of sneaking off your shift.

Punish him but don’t sully his official record.

And, Seales, Machel Montano and Benjai have enough waist for about 500,000 citizens each. So let us not build a statue for Sergeant Snake Oil until fiends like Dana Seetahal’s murderer are in a cell. Okay?

As for young Miss Rampersad, please remember that anything in excess of a solitary dance with a married man is loitering. And more than a single dance with a man more than three times your age is soliciting. Keep it moving next time.

Photo: Opposition Leader Keith Rowley had a ball in San Fernando for Carnival 2015.
Photo: Opposition Leader Keith Rowley had a ball in San Fernando for Carnival 2015.

And Keithos? Let him explain to his wife why he spent so much time canvassing a woman who isn’t old enough to vote.

It is ridiculous to suggest his Carnival behaviour will have any bearing on Elections 2015. But Live Wire does hope that he has a comfortable couch at home and Sharon lets him take an extra pillow. Party done!

As for Patrick Manning, you can stop laughing now Sir. Methinks Rowley won’t be trespassing on your turf anytime in the near future.

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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92 comments

  1. All you UNC supporters just shut up already!!!! d man trying to enjoy he carnival and alyuh making d big issue of the 17 year old girl she was not the only person he was with he was with everyone in the band being people friendly at least he’s with thee people some of you ministers never with the people when they need their road fix or anything so be quiet!!

  2. Most of what we saw were’still shots’ which can be very deceiving and I’m sure the photos were STRATEGICALLY taken. Though I agree once you are in public life your behaviour and actions are under greater scrutiny, I do not think we have enough evidence to say that he was ‘wining and gyrating’ on the masqeraders. Furthermore persons who play mas KNOW FOR A FACT that all kinds of people boldfacedly ‘tief a wine’ on persons they are not affiliated with, worse yet if they get the opportunity to do so on prominent figures in society. Much more important issues to be dealt with in this country. As far as I am concerned, the politicians achieved EXACTLY what they wanted to over this non-issue. Time to press on!!!!

  3. A little wine never hurt nobody ,there are other things that are hurting the country,let’s deal with them.

  4. Trinidadian is d worst is f***ing Carnival nurses lawyers pastors ect does take a wine kamla dont even wait till Carnival 2 let we kno she is d female drunking master

  5. Kamla is a drinker and rowley is a winer. Done talk. Let’s get on with real issues

  6. Candis Cayona

    Clever writing as always! The non-issue issues!

  7. It’s so disgusting, this being an issue. In the 21st century.

  8. This is a non issue ppl. Our country is going down the toilet and this is the burning issue on everyone’s lips. SMH!

    • Like you said country going down the toilet…. Everybody vex he wine on a girl who apparently is underage. How come nobody asking where this poor innocent girl’s parents are, cause i doubt he is the only man she wine on this carnival!

  9. nice picture. Was this before he wuk up on the 17 yr, old backside??? Bbwwaahhhhh!!!

  10. Cudnt have said it better @kendell stewart

  11. On a serious note – a girl can get married with both her parents consent in writing before she is 18, she can give sexual consent at 16, so wining on Rowley (or any other man)is ok at 17. The problem is that a young, attractive East Indian woman chose to wine on a verile black man.

  12. I calling him Loosey. Keith “Loosey” Rowley! And the police officer should have been winin’ to Kitchie boy’s “Doh ask meh to wuk for Carneeval”

  13. Kris Krisy D why allyuh causing controversy so

  14. Funny article. Lasana just a note. I’ve followed your satire for a while and recently noticed there seems to be a concerted effort to add discord and bring confusion on the column. It is also prevalent on Facebook and has become acute since the after the AG’s firing. I’m highlighting because the persons seem to want to distract from real issues and seem bent on Internet “mischief”

  15. This is ridiculous! Much fuss about nothing!

  16. Great article Lasana Liburd. Perfect satirical capture of the absurdity of it all. Love it!

  17. Why the police doh catch some real criminals? They need to learn to let some things go… what is ” annoying language to provoke a police officer to commit a breach of the peace “??? So, even if you don’t cuss, you can get arrested? Let’s get real in this place eh – if a police officer cannot keep his or her cool in light of some “annoying language”, the TTPS is far worse off than I imagined.

  18. Don’t be distracted people, this is a non-issue. Be more concerned with the President’s decision on recalling Mr. West from the PCA and the matter of former AG on witness tampering.

  19. I tried to remain silent on this issue but I can’t anymore. Isn’t that’s why they call it silly season? Ok so he is an aspiring Prime Minister. .. What about the aspiring fathers; the aspiring mothers; the aspiring teachers where were they? Were they not doing the same as well? You hypocrites this is not the real issue here… The real issue is what we as an aspiring first world country has continued to allow and perpetrate in this country. Point is if we want the best behavior of our people and our politicians in this case we must first of all advocate an environment that is conducive to such behavior; our brand of Carnival isn’t such an environment; it’s an insult to the dignity of human beings and their upright behavior. So before we even begin to criticize others, how about we start with ourselves first… Let’s first ask ourselves the question what have I done or did not do to contribute to this and then perhaps; maybe we will achieve respect…

  20. Sorry…. All them all inclusive hoping for a photo op .. One set ah wannabees

  21. So what would be the comments if he pushed her away . People who never see come see about Carnival should refrain from commenting. A lot of these persons only playing mas because it politically correct,same way they going to all them all inclusion

  22. Actually, I understand it was a WPC who held Kennya. So it makes sense now.

  23. Policeman was on duty, inlight of rules that on duty officers ought not to be engaged in…rowley was on his leisure time

  24. So which ‘straight’ man would have nice young ladies wining on them in a band and push them away ?!?

  25. How do you know that is was not “one dance”? All the pictures could have been taken during that time. Trinis gyrate in all form and fashion while they dancing? SMH @ “soliciting”

  26. Scriptures from Carnival Diaries boy Lasana Liburd. The Book of Revelry hahaha