Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

Jack confuffles the Guardian

National Security Minister Jack Warner was up to his old Jedi mind tricks yesterday as he denied any knowledge that he was being investigated by the IRS as reported exclusively in Wired868. And, possibly sensing the chance to rewrite history, Warner added the bizarre claim that: “I have never faced …

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Acting CoP promises to bring Warner to book… eventually

Trinidad and Tobago’s acting Police Commissioner Stephen Williams said the Police Service has accepted DPP Roger Gaspard’s advice to investigate his line minister and ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner over a June 2011 bribery scandal involving disgraced former Asian Football Confederation (AFC) president Mohamed Bin Hammam. Williams warned that, although the …

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Motorists lose chunk of highway and good manners

The sudden collapse of six feet of the Beetham Highway yesterday afternoon prompted concerned Sea Lots resident Gabriel Garraway to race on to the road to warn motorists. According to Trinidad Express reporter Joel Julien, Garraway was cheerily and graciously greeted by one driver who told him: “Get out of …

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Prakash won’t fight for Jack

COP leader Prakash Ramadhar has refused to support an ultimatum from his party’s vice-chairman Vernon De Lima over National Security Minister Jack Warner’s continued Cabinet presence. Ramadhar, who once considered the loss of San Fernando Mayor Marlene Coudray to be an unpardonable offence, prefers to fight over ladies. Warner retorted …

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Acting CoP loses his bearings

“Reprehensible, unacceptable, unprofessional.” Acting Police Commissioner Stephen Williams was referring to the slap meted out by a plainclothes police officer to citizen Terrence Augustine, which was posted on youtube, rather than his own decision to make a public statement on a matter that is still being investigated. Williams was not …

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Olympic athletes still waiting on Gov’t photo finish

Trinidad and Tobago’s Olympic athletes continue to wait for their heroic homecoming. Sport Minister Anil Roberts promised a gala ceremony on September 3. However, this has now been adjusted to a “function” sometime between September 10 and 18. Wired868 wonders if Olympic athletes who don’t throw javelin and run 400 …

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Blades drawn in Paralympic scandal

South Africa’s famous sprint amputee, Oscar “Blade Runner” Pistorius, did not defend his Paralympic 200 metre crown yesterday but still caught up to former United States track icon and sour grape extraordinaire, Carl Lewis. Pistorius lamented an uneven playing field after losing to Brazil’s Alan Oliviera in a race that …

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Nature mocks San Fernando court order

Kezi Doughty, a mother of nine children, had five children taken away by the San Fernando Magistrate’s court on 28 June 2012 after she was found guilty of neglect. On Saturday, Doughty gave birth to twins. Tropical Storm Isaac was one thing but now Nature is messing with Trinidad and …

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Newsday’s diplomatic gaffe

The Trinidad Newsday might consider itself the most brilliant publication in the nation’s history after several past and present employees including Chief Editor Therese Mills and founder Clevon Raphael were celebrated last week among the legends of Trinidad and Tobago’s Independence. This excellence was arguably missing today—and not for the …

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School’s here… minus the schools

Education Minister Dr Tim Gopeesingh said, in a press statement yesterday, that the country was in the midst of a parenting crisis and also pointed to teacher absenteeism and poor academic performances. He urged parents, teachers and students to pull their socks up post haste. Or, to paraphrase, do as …

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Jack: Suffer the children

School children have a lot in their book bags these days including wildly fluctuating academic assessment plans and enough books to fill a library. It might get worse though after National Security Minister Jack Warner suggested that a good cut-tail for little Jason and Natasha is just what Trinidad and …

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Express blowjob stuns readers

The Trinidad Express delivered a telling blow to good taste this morning with a salacious photograph of a man of Indian descent, with both hands on his waist, blowing into a policewoman’s instrument. The Express, weakly, sought to soften the impact with the euphemistic term “breathalyser” but it is uncertain …

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