Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

More flood woes; cameraman on standby

Wired868 has been unreliably advised that, although the rainfall might seem bad, it is actually six percent less than showers last week and 15 percent less than what was experienced the week before that. So citizens are actually benefitting from what is now known as an increase in the decrease. …

Read More »

AG plays psychology with criminal gangs

Attorney General Anand Ramlogan told the Trinidad Newsday that the anti-gang legislation used during last year’s State of Emergency has served its purpose as a deterrent and psychological weapon against gang-related activity. Judging from this year’s murder rate, Wired868 believes that eradicating gangsters with psychology is as foolproof as drowning …

Read More »

London Olympics continues… And THA is trailing

Double bronze medallist Lalonde Gordon might still be sporting his medals and discussing London 2012 but he is probably some distance from the Olympic ideals these days. Tobago House of Assembly (THA) chief secretary Orville London paid tribute to the sister isle’s first Olympic medallist with gifts at a civic …

Read More »

Jack gets tough on criminal statistics

National Security Minister Jack Warner yesterday challenged Trinidad and Tobago’s criminal elements in a showdown at Abercromby Street, Port of Spain. Not the criminals who destroy lives though; just the ones who are bad for his own reputation. After a weekend with seven murders, Warner ignored the gunmen and police …

Read More »

AG’s suspicious FIU report

Attorney General Anand Ramlogan went to the Senate yesterday with an impressive volume of data on the going-ons at the Financial Intelligence Unit (FIU). There were 303 suspicious reports filed with the FIU in 2011 from which 65 are still being analysed, 54 were closed and seven were relayed to …

Read More »

NFM torn by run of the mill thinking

NFM shareholders are allegedly demanding the removal of chairperson Jacqueline Burgess over her refusal to raise the price of flour. Shareholder Anthony Arundel was quoted in the Trinidad Express as criticizing the NFM board for not being “business-like” since it didn’t “seem very willing” to raise the price of flour …

Read More »

Gifted Keshorn can do with one more present

Keshorn Walcott is arguably the most gifted athlete in the history of Trinidad and Tobago’s sport after his gold medal javelin throw at the London 2012 Olympics was rewarded with $1 million in cash, an estimated $2.5 million house in Federation Park, 20,000 acres of land in Toco’s vicinity and …

Read More »

T&T moves up as a holiday destination

Trinidad and Tobago’s latest Keshorn Walcott-inspired national holiday now places the tiny twin island republic among the top ten countries in the world for letting its workers skip work. Or, with the right application of spin, Trinidad and Tobago can now boast of being in the world’s top ten holiday …

Read More »

Ignorance is bliss at National Security press conference

National Security Minister Jack Warner thought that he and HDC managing director Jerlean John paid the sizable and unmentionable fee to bring former NBA star Shaquille O’Neal to Trinidad. Housing Minister Roodal Moonilal apparently knew Warner’s program better than he did and suggested O’Neal’s visit was actually funded by anonymous …

Read More »

Tim declares war on cybercriminals; the ones he doesn’t know

Education Minister Tim Goopeesingh declared yesterday’s leak of SEA results to be tantamount to a cybercrime and promised to put National Security Minister Jack Warner on the trail. Wired868 cannot confirm that Warner is already preparing the army and police service for a surprise raid on the alleged rogue employee …

Read More »

COP urges Anil to come out of the closet

Sport Minister and MP Anil Roberts is believed to be living a double life that has been the subject of whispers throughout the political fraternity. Yesterday, COP acting chairman Vernon De Lima broke the awkward silence and urged Roberts to come out of the closet. However, Wired868 understands that Roberts …

Read More »

Jack’s Shaq-attack inspires youth; broken hearts to follow

National Security Minister Jack Warner, with typical pizzazz, yesterday unveiled his first crime fighting plan with a little help from seven foot one ex-NBA star Shaquille O’Neal. O’Neal and PM Kamla Persad-Bissessar launched the “Hoops of Life” competition in the Beetham Gardens, which will pay out $1.75 million in prize …

Read More »