Thirty-one-year-old Imamshah Ali’s fine for hitting his former common-law wife with a teacup in her chin, slapping her across her face (both causing injuries) and forcibly shaving her head: $300 by San Fernando Magistrate Margaret Alert Ali’s fine for throwing a bottle meant for his former common-law wife that hit …
Read More »Arima primary school prepares to fail students
Arima Girls RC dismissed school at 1 pm this afternoon. School principal Elisa Russell-Caldon explained, in a note to parents, that the disruption in their children’s education was “to facilitate curriculum planning.” So, the staff at Arima Girls RC is apparently deciding what to do with its pupils one month …
Read More »Express exposes Latin lady assassins; but why are their code numbers all 201?
Every employee, no matter how valuable, has a sell-by date. For a surgeon, fading eyesight might mean it is time to plan your retirement party. An athlete might feel diminished appetite for training and an increased one for everything else. And how does a senior multimedia investigative journalist know when …
Read More »While you were sleeping: Integrity Commission kicks into gear; but it’s reverse
The Integrity Commission yesterday acted on Section 33 (a) of the Integrity in Public Life Act, which allows the Commission to act on its own initiative, to request that President Anthony Carmona appoints a tribunal to “enquire further into declarations submitted by Mr Warner” with specific reference to his ownership …
Read More »AG gets tough on suspected criminals; Ish probably approves
Attorney General Anand Ramlogan SC set a new Senate record for jibberish yesterday as he broke down his proposed Bail Amendment Bill for the benefit of the Opposition, Independent Senators and, presumably, ordinary folks who are trying to keep up: “Currently the law is that you have two strikes and …
Read More »Pundit asks public to lay off murderer
Let he who has never committed murder/suicide cast the first stone. Pundit Sunil Seetahal-Maharaj may attract the attention of a whole new clientele after his funeral service for Sanjeev Rambarran, who killed his ex-wife, Dian Paladee, before taking his own life last Friday. Seetahal-Maharaj chastised members of the public who …
Read More »I’m winning! Griffith goes full “Sheen” while murders soar
The National Security Ministry looks set for a fresh round of musical chairs. Mr Live Wire was unreliably informed that Minister Gary Griffith is now under investigation for impersonating a statistician, molesting common sense and reproducing an unauthorised bootleg of Charlie Sheen’s infamous “I am winning” rant. Griffith was certainly …
Read More »Kamla offered naming rights of Vincey village; how about La Brea?
St Vincent and the Grenadines Prime Minister Dr Ralph Gonsalves has offered to rename a village on his island after Kamla Persad-Bissessar if the Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister aids the relocation of a significant portion of the 250 residents in its South Windward constituency. The Vincentian PM said the …
Read More »Acting Police Commissioner flops on the switchboard; hypothetically
Acting Police Commissioner Stephen Williams served further notice of his immense suitability to lead a hapless police force when he refused to inform the Trinidad Express about the law with regards to failure to report a crime. Williams, who once called Jack Warner the best Minister he ever worked with …
Read More »Vampire islands: S/Fdo hustler burgles Adams’ memorial
It turns out politicians are not the only ones in Trinidad and Tobago who are happy to exploit a corpse for personal gain. At Presentation College in San Fernando, the past pupils’ association president Steven Samlalsingh set up a memorial, which included a photograph, candles and flowers, for former student …
Read More »Madder than dat: Mr Live Wire goes off
You want to hear madness? Since comedian Learie Joseph is probably too busy to take requests, Mr Live Wire will oblige: Madness is… when you crash your car after being distracted by an electronic billboard; only to realise it was a video ad from an insurance company Madness is… when …
Read More »Diabolical Guardian: Can A-Team save Saint from Kim Judy-Un?
Mr Live Wire reviews a tragi-comedy as a motivational speaker fights for his freedom after being wrongful imprisoned for eight years by uncaring wardens of a once-respected newspaper. Scene: Trinidad Guardian headquarters on St Vincent Street, Port of Spain. Characters: Garth St Clair (played by Danny Glover), Kim Judy-Un (played …
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