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Spain’s down with OPP, Neymar’s saucy 69 and Minala’s age-old secret

Is it June yet?

Nothing like seeing your top strikers knocking them in for fun to get excited about the World Cup. Oh yeah, Argentina has it in the bag.

Photo: Argentina's Lionel Messi (left) enjoys a snack of Colombian defenders Alexander Mejia (centre) and Aldo Leao Ramirez during a World Cup qualifier in Buenos Aires.  (Courtesy Alejandro Pagni/ AFP)
Photo: Argentina’s Lionel Messi (left) enjoys a snack of Colombian defenders Alexander Mejia (centre) and Aldo Leao Ramirez during a World Cup qualifier in Buenos Aires.
(Courtesy Alejandro Pagni/ AFP)

All the Argies need now are two full backs, a solid central defensive partnership, a steady goalkeeper, a reliable box-to-box midfielder to play alongside Javier Mascherano and at least one world class winger apart from Angel Di Maria.

Ehh… Oh dear.

Your favourite team probably isn’t doing much better anyway.

The beauty of the 2014 World Cup is that there is no clear favourite.

Spain? Don’t think so. Brazil is the only country on the South American continent that their tiki taka conquistadores never conquered; and no wonder if General Vicente del Bosque’s brilliant tactical plan is typical from their invading forces.

Spain’s decision to poach Brazil’s best striker Diego Costa as a precursor to their trip to South America could not be one of del Bosque’s brightest ideas. Something like Newsday’s editorial staff moving next door to the Beetham’s oldest lingerie model after the paper’s unflattering front page show and tell.

Photo: Ouch! Spain's Fernando Torres (right) takes a blow to the jewels from Saudi Arabia's Kamil Al-Mousa during a friendly on September 7, 2012.  He probably shook that off quicker than Spain's recruitment of a Brazilian to take his place. (Courtesy Miguel Riopa/ AFP)
Photo: Ouch! Spain’s Fernando Torres (right) takes a blow to the jewels from Saudi Arabia’s Kamil Al-Mousa during a friendly on September 7, 2012.
He probably shook that off quicker than Spain’s recruitment of a Brazilian to take his place.
(Courtesy Miguel Riopa/ AFP)

Is your team camp going to be in Caracas, del Bosque?

The World Cup should be about my country’s best players against yours. Why the hell is a nation blessed with Alvaro Negredo, David Villa, Roberto Soldado and Fernando Torres still down with OPP?

With that kind of lust for things it has no right to own, no wonder Spain got caught out when the financial bubble burst.

And the host nation? It is still blessed with Neymar, the quintessential Brazilian public persona; an amalgamation of beautiful smiles and secret bank accounts.

I mean the kid just turned 22 but already is involved in one of football’s most corrupt deals of all time; a transfer so crooked that he should wear “Piarco International Airport” on the back of his Barcelona shirt.

Photo: Spain's defender Gerard Pique (right) trips Brazil's forward Neymar during the 2013 Confederations Cup final in Rio de Janeiro. You break him, you bought him, Pique!  (Courtesy Christophe Simon/ AFP)
Photo: Spain’s defender Gerard Pique (right) trips Brazil’s forward Neymar during the 2013 Confederations Cup final in Rio de Janeiro.
You break him, you bought him, Pique!
(Courtesy Christophe Simon/ AFP)

Barcelona paid the boy’s club, Santos, 17.1 million euros for his services while everyone else carved up 69.1 million euros on the transfer. 69?! No wonder Santos feels screwed. Even Jack Warner had to shower twice when he heard about it.

FIFA has bigger problems right now with protests in Brazil showing no signs of ending; just like their stadia. Not that Trinidad and Tobago football fans are allowed to be judgmental in this case.

After all, the ICC is still waiting for the Brian Lara Stadium in Tarouba that was promised for the 2007 World Cup.

Let’s go pitch level though.

Sad scenes in Italy where AC Milan and Azzurri star Mario Balotelli broke down in tears after being substituted at a league match in Naples. So far, there has been no confirmation as to what shook up Italy’s temperamental man-child but, naturally, there was speculation about racist provocation.

Photo: Lazio claims midfielder Joseph Minala is just 17-years-old. Let he that has never taken a bad driver's permit photo cast the first stone. (Courtesy Marco Rosi/ La Presse)
Photo: Lazio claims midfielder Joseph Minala is just 17-years-old.
Let he that has never taken a bad driver’s permit photo cast the first stone.
(Courtesy Marco Rosi/ La Presse)

Mr Live Wire understands that 17-year-old Lazio player Joseph Minala heard about the treatment he could face if he made it in Italy and aged overnight. Either that or Benjamin Button’s make-up artists have too much spare time on their hands.

In England, coach Roy Hodgson confirmed that he has no idea how to get the “Three Lions” into the knockout stage when he publicly challenged Wayne Rooney to explode at the 2014 World Cup. This is Rooney’s third World Cup and so far the only explosion he managed was between Ricardo Carvalho’s legs in Germany 2006.

As if “Wazza” doesn’t have enough on his plate with trying to drag Manchester United into next season’s Champions League; now he gets to be Hodgson’s fall guy too.

If Rooney explodes, England will be alright, eh Roy? And the FA chose this guy because of his supposed tactically acumen? Clearly the FA thinks Harry Redknapp’s shoes have no laces then.

Photo: Bad hair day? Wayne Rooney has having a tough season with Manchester United and it looks like his summer with England will not be much better. (Courtesy Andrew Yates/ AFP)
Photo: Bad hair day?
Wayne Rooney has having a tough season with Manchester United and it looks like his summer with England will not be much better.
(Courtesy Andrew Yates/ AFP)

Meanwhile, the German Football Association (DFB) took efficiency to another level after the DFB promised, last December, to build its own 65 room hotel for the Germany squad complete with a training pitch and press centre in a secluded area in Bahia which can only by accessed by ferry.

Forget Keith Rowley; can we vote for the DFB in the next elections?

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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One comment

  1. Lasana Liburd

    The Barcelona president has already resigned and a Spanish Judge has set a court date for possible fraud with relation to Neymar’s transfer. Meanwhile in the Piarco Airport Corruption news… :-/