Larry Houdini, Machel the false profit and a corporation in retreat

There is no sugar coating this. When your Finance Minister is afraid to answer questions on financial transparency and conflicts of interest from, of all people, Jack Warner, you know that you’re in way too deep.

If Larry Howai thinks his reputation—or what remained of it after his $10 million First Citizens Bank parachute—could not withstand a little Parliamentary cut and thrust with a man once accused of diverting aid money for earthquake victims in Haiti…

Well, all Mr Live Wire can say is that Warner finding a person who cannot look him in the eye to talk about money is surely one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

Photo: Minister Larry Howai supposedly sent a pre-action protocol letter to Jack Warner's Sunshine Newspaper on December 24. Mr Live Wire cannot confirm that Santa Claus delivered it.  (Courtesy news.gov.tt)
Photo: Minister Larry Howai supposedly sent a pre-action protocol letter to Jack Warner’s Sunshine Newspaper on December 24.
Mr Live Wire cannot confirm that Santa Claus delivered it.
(Courtesy news.gov.tt)

Can’t I just give my taxes to the guy who emailed to say he lost his wallet at a hotel in Bulgaria on a vacation he forgot to say he was going on? I would feel safer giving him my hard-earned money than Minister Larry Houdini.

God knows what Howai is hiding considering the sort of answers we already get from politicians. Case in point was Minister of Planning and Sustainable Development Dr Bhoe Tewarie, who is a former Minister of Industry, Enterprise and Tourism and UWI principal.

PNM Senator Lester Henry wanted to know how soca star Machel Montano’s Government-funded “Going for Gold 50th Independent Anniversary” album did.

Tewarie replied that the Government spent $5 million to produce the album and it earned $175,000. The Trinidad Express, whose editor must have attended the same business school as Tewarie, wrote that the album has “thus far yielded a profit of $175,000.”

Needless to say, by that yardstick, Wired868 can guarantee the Government a much better and faster return on its investment. Just give Mr Live Wire $5 million and he will immediately hand you back $1 million.

Call that profit if you like. The Express would probably agree.

Photo: That is how to make profit like a boss!
Photo: That is how to make profit like a boss!

Ever so often, it is good to investigate the breeding ground for the Tewaries of tomorrow. So, Live Wire would like to pay tribute to the Couva/Tabaquite/Talparo Regional Corporation (CTTRC), which is chaired by Harry Awong.

The CTTRC, according to Awong, aims to use a retreat to develop “an action plan” and take a “holistic approach towards the organisation.” Awong told the Express that this retreat will “look at where you could cut, where you could trim, how you could get the work done, utilising less resources and all kind of things like that.”

And this retreat, aimed at devising cost cutting measures for the regional corporation, will be held at the Cocoa Reef Resort and Spa in Tobago from March 19 to 22 with costs of $260,000 (hotel accommodation), $14,578 (airfare), $5,500 (ground transportation) and $25,000 (consultancy fee).

Incidentally, this will be the second high powered Tobago retreat for the CTTRC in under a year after Awong and his merry men spent over $261,000 on an excursion to Le Grand Courlan Spa Resort in May 2014.

Awong explained the need for the two retreats.

“Last year we went and we developed the strategic plan,” Awong told the Express. “For the first time in a long time we developed a strategic plan. Coming out of this strategic plan, you are supposed to have an action plan in order to achieve the goals outlined in the strategic plan.”

Naturally. Well, go do your action plan then, Sir. But, leaving aside the many possible questions on your planning process, can we trouble you to ask why Tobago though?

Photo: Presumably when Harry Awong's car runs low on gas, he buys a new car!
Photo: Presumably when Harry Awong’s car runs low on gas, he buys a new car!

“It is very difficult for councillors to sit down in Trinidad and plan at that level,” said Awong. “We have tried retreats in Trinidad and during the retreat, a councillor would get a call that somebody house probably burned down or somebody place flood or something to that effect where something happens and the person calls the councillor.”

Awong and the Couva/Tabaquite/Talparo Regional Corporation will be delighted to know that Mr Live Wire is about to save them $280,078:

Host the retreat in the corporation’s boardroom, order Subway sandwiches and have everyone turn their cell phones off.

Please email editor@wired868.com to find out where to send that $25,000 consultancy fee.

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About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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75 comments

  1. Only bullshit in this country. It doh natter who in power cause is same shit different bamsee.

  2. King George all the way ezze meh up dey monk mank

  3. This was too good a read…unbelievable

  4. Great read as usual and its really sad on Larry Howai’s case and Bhoe Tewarie regards that album , smdh this country eh

  5. Lol. The fact that Larry Houdini can’t look a man like Warner in the eye to talk about money! We reach!

  6. I think they should go to Miami for the retreat, that way they don’t need to fly back if someone’s house get burn down. The meeting will be more productive

  7. Real higher order math Lasana…smfh

  8. I think journalists are hamstrung because news is traditionally done in a particular way and it is hard to keep a straight face and report on such stuff.
    So I have some sympathy for reporters because they can’t experiment as much as I can in a news story.
    Sue-Ann Wayow asked the right questions on the Couva/Tabaquite/Talparo retreat. I just twisted the knife a bit further. 😉

  9. Is there no end to the corruption?? One gentleman is obviously saying what he was told because he has no clue…the other gentleman baffles me because he knows better…and the main gentleman, well he is following instructions. Not a shred of right action among them. Sad.

  10. Couldn’t agree with you more!!!!

  11. Belt tightening for public officers. They’ve cut expenditure on purchasing equipment such as calculators, computers etc. Cut the purchases of stationery supplies by 15%

  12. when is elections? that is a serious question.

  13. I don’t think we have enough brave and also thinking journalists in this country unfortunately.

  14. Well, if they consider less than $200,000 on a $5 million investment to be profit…

  15. Like you say, gimme the $5M, I’ll show you how to multiply it using a Trinpad copy book.

  16. Fair enough. Although we aren’t talking about implement complex financial policies here. Common sense and a calculator and they would do much better.

  17. They are lawyers and lecturers not financial geniuses

  18. The financial geniuses we have in the public sector eh? And then talking about belt tightening…

  19. Lord faddah these people mad or what? Hopefully this expose crashes the Tobago lime… J.W. exposing corruption… guess it takes a____ to catch a ____ right? yep! DEF a sign of the approaching Apocalypse!!!

  20. Priceless use of humor, but so sad really. Goodness ‘signs of the Apocalypse’ lol, clever. Geeze hold head and shake.

  21. Bless you Lasana Liburd bless you, too bad many of your colleagues most of whom are masquerading as journalist don’t have the intelligence or testicular fortitude to write like you do. Keep it up bruv

  22. Lasana these people setting up a school to teach entrepreneurship and innovation,I guess no one bothered to look up the definitions / meanings of these concepts . Then again they probably think that being a n integral part of CLICO and Invaders Bay and Chaguaramas misdevelopment give them the Authourity to show how to spend other peoples money and resources and not account.

  23. Great job Lasana Liburd. As always

  24. Can I join your consultancy Lasana?

  25. I like that false prophet….. No pun intended

  26. And Machel “PP Hood ornament” Montano makes off with $5million and change to distract creole courtesy of the putrid UNC

  27. Spot on! Last year they paid $5K for consultancy, this year is $25K… doh say nutten nah!

  28. If a probe starts it will last for years? ENT?

  29. Yet another golden piece of satire…why does it read more informative than any investigative pieces done by the mainstream media? Anywayz….

  30. It would appear that this present administration and by extension, the CTTRC feel that the population of Trinidad and Tobago, cannot collate simple mathematical calculations, hence the reason for these outrageous financial expenditure. When will it end??? Hopefully is 2015.

  31. We need some Duck and Goat Curry Powder for this one, yes!

  32. At some point through the laughter, the tears of pain are streaming down our faces.

  33. Reading this article and remembering that feeling I get everytime I collect my payslips…..smh

  34. Those ” open letters” as I call them are very funny but they r what u call hard truth. Very good read. (false profit).

  35. What trouble I really seeing here? Man ducking Jack Warner – Mr Financial Credibility – on questions on finance? For true? Looks like it have plenty bones in that closet … As for Bore-endradath Tewarie and the mystical mathematics, taking his word for it those 2000 that did sell had to go for nearly $2600 each. The CD could have Hey Has galore from heaven by Monk Monty, I eh buying that or Bore’s misleading answer!
    Finally, for the CTT Regional Corporation, that is the first time I hear somebody say that the job prevents them from getting work done. I cutting more cost! subway is out, it go be level doubles, aloo pie, saheena, bauganee, kuchori and pholourie instead! No meat means less costs! Save money! And when the diarrhea hits from the curry overload, at least the anal diarrhea can fertilise where the verbal one can’t!!!!!

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