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Good God: Would T&T politicians follow papal example?

Pope Emeritus, who was born Joseph Ratzinger, grew up to become Pope Benedict XVI but then opted for a final name change before his death, has allegedly revealed the truth behind his stunning resignation as Pope.

“God told me to do it,” the ex-Pope supposedly told an unnamed visitor, according to Reuters.

Noone saw that twist coming. Either that or it was a slow news week.

Photo: Pope Emeritus formerly known as Pope Benedict XVI formerly known as Joseph Ratzinger. (Courtesy thenation.co.au)
Photo: Pope Emeritus formerly known as Pope Benedict XVI formerly known as Joseph Ratzinger.
(Courtesy thenation.co.au)

Pope Emeritus apparently confided in his anonymous visitor that his resignation had nothing to do with the arrest of his butler for leaking Vatican secrets or the numerous child abuse scandals which dogged his papacy. A new Pope was simply “wanted by God.”

There was no comment as to whether God wanted Pope Benedict XVI to resign because of that same arrest of his butler and the numerous child abuse scandals that dogged his papacy.

Mr Live Wire has so far also been unable to confirm that the Pope’s inquisitive visitor was television host Oprah Winfrey, who was looking for something hard-hitting to follow her Lance Armstrong exclusive.

If Reuters accepted “God told me to do it” as a reasonable explanation for a controversial decision of global proportions, albeit from a religious leader, would it be hypocritical to deny other past and present Heads of State the right to do the same?

Can Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar, for instance, get the press off her back by admitting that God asked her to hire Reshmi Ramnarine, call a State of Emergency and sack Jack Warner?

Photo: Chaguanas West MP Jack Warner (left) has refused comment on whether God is a member of Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar's "cabal." (Courtesy FIFA.com)
Photo: Chaguanas West MP Jack Warner (left) has refused comment on whether God is a member of Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar’s “cabal.”
(Courtesy FIFA.com)

And, if a man became a pope and then stopped being pope, what is he now? Is the former Pope Benedict XVI on gardening leave before he becomes Joseph Ratzinger again?

Or is it like being a retired CIA operative and going back to your former life is too dangerous or will simply invite annoying questions like: “Did you meet James Bond” or, in Ratzinger’s case, “Is God a man or a woman?”

Live Wire was unreliably informed that Patrick Manning has asked constituents and former parliamentary colleagues to call him: “Prime Minister Emeritus.”

And that Warner was also told by God to resign from politics; but then he changed religions.

AboutMr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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One comment

  1. Love the last line about Jack changing religions lol.