It turns out that motorists were not the only persons who were ill-prepared for 2019. Officials at the Ministry of Works and Transport confirmed this morning that the government had run out of certificates to distribute to road-worthy vehicles, via roughly 60 private garages nationwide. The MOWT cock-up—which meant neither …
Read More »Live Wire: Griffith defends ‘pissy pooch’ after lawmen mistakenly kick in door of elderly couple
Commissioner of Police Gary Griffith is again being called to answer for the zealous behaviour of his lawmen, after officers kicked down the door of an elderly Mason Hall couple during a drug search—only to realise they had gotten the wrong address. So much for the accuracy of the TTPS’ …
Read More »Yes, prime minister: Laventille West MP and wetman, Fitzie, tries to raise a pressing issue
Scene: Balisier House. Prime Minister Dr Keith Rowley attempts to wrap up a meeting with some members of his Cabinet. Rowley: … All in all gentlemen, I must say it was a good week. Members mumble approvingly and slap each other on the back. Stuart Young: Prime minister, it is …
Read More »Whodunnit?! Mr Live Wire searches for source of Express’ KPMG report on Gary Griffith
Scene: Dark, almost deserted car park in west Trinidad. Mr Live Wire makes his way towards the lone vehicle in the area. Suddenly, the vehicle switches its high beam light on, almost blinding him. Mr Live Wire: Hello?! Hello?! A figure steps out of the vehicle. Mr Live Wire can …
Read More »Young gets National Security post; Attorney will be Griffith’s line minister as silver spoon gang widens influence
Has Gary Griffith’s bug spray taken its first victim? By the time the new Commissioner of Police is sworn in, his line minister will not be retired Major General Edmund Dillon; but political neophyte Stuart Young, who has been hoovering up portfolios like a fat child at a buffet. Young—an …
Read More »Satirically speaking: Super-Gary-gets-appointed-Live-Wire-gets-nauseous…
Someone somewhere at sometime once said: “That’s so crazy it just might work…” The phrase caught on. But the person who uttered it and the ill-judged venture he or she had in mind? God alone knows. Maybe there’s a clue there. Regardless, the Dr Keith Rowley-led government sought to repopularise …
Read More »The Grand Bizarre Shooting; Live Wire reviews worst shooting since Raheem Sterling against Man Utd
In what may go down as the Grand Bizarre Shooting, two fully armed policemen with personal scores to settle fired shots at each other from point-blank range outside the Ruby Tuesday restaurant on Wednesday night. “I thought I was dreaming; this could not be happening right before my eyes,” one …
Read More »Sike!!! Rowley sacks Smith after “new information” in coldest icing since Benny Blanco from the Bronx
In one of the coldest hits since Benny Blanco (John Leguizamo) iced Carlito Brigante (Al Pacino) in Carlito’s Way, the political career of Diego Martin Central MP Darryl Smith was snuffed out this afternoon—presumably just before he could form his first queue of desperate women seeking government housing. Smith, who …
Read More »Hide and seek! Rowley moves ‘Sleazy Smith’ to Housing Ministry in sordid Cabinet reshuffle
First, the good news. New Commonwealth Games gold medalist Michelle-Lee Ahye will not be told—in a fierce, sleazy whisper—how good her pants looks on her, when she meets the Sport Minister in the Piarco International Airport’s VIP Lounge, later this week. The bad news? Well, single mothers on the market …
Read More »Rowley: “I’m trying to find out what went on!” Live Wire looks into PM’s post-Cabinet speech on Moses, Smith and Tobago
If ignorance is really bliss, then the happiest man alive is not Machel Montano anymore. Prime Minister Dr Keith Rowley—once a “raging bull” against internal PNM corruption,“teacup tosser” for slick MPs and “Rottweiler” to political shenanigans—gave some insight into his new ‘inner Zen’ yesterday, with breezy responses to the stewardship …
Read More »Howzat?! Live Wire examines Easter tale of betrayal, as documents reveal how Moses knifed his ambassador
What’s the difference between Australia cricket captain Steve Smith and Foreign and CARICOM Affairs Minister Dennis Moses? Well, one is a dishonest, unconscionable, disloyal twat with little apparent understanding or appreciation for morality in public affairs and the ramifications of his decisions as a leader. The other is a 28-year-old …
Read More »Rowley: Gov’t must send right message; UNC: Opposition desperate to distract! Live Wire looks at Dillon dilemma
National Security Minister Edmund Dillon, unknown to Parliament or taxpayers, has been sneaking into the United States over the last seven months to answer accusations of “elderly financial abuse, exploitation and fraud” in the New York Supreme Court. Let’s try that again. The Minister directly responsible for stamping out criminal …
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