At best, the majority of the West Indies Cricket Board’s territories are sadomasochistic. At worst, they are suicidal.
Either way, regional cricket fans should look forward to be on the receiving end of some hearty spankings in both the immediate and distant future. And it would probably be sensible to have a Pastor start rehearsing for the last rites.
And that is because, on 7 March 2015, eight of the 12 associations that comprise the WICB voted to re-appoint Dave Cameron as regional cricket president ahead of the challenger and former West Indies cricket great Joel Garner.
Mr Live Wire did not receive a copy of Cameron’s manifesto. But, based on his record at the helm, we can only assume that he campaigned on a platform of: financial bankruptcy or becoming a outpost of the BCCI (Board Of Control For Cricket in India), conceding all responsibility to develop and run the regional game to anyone with a gold credit card though the CPL, replacing WICB doormats with players—or vice versa—and running the West Indies Players Association (WIPA) through ventriloquy. Presumably, there were free plane tickets and grants as sweeteners.
Live Wire knows even less about Garner’s mission statement. But, to lose to Cameron, the former Barbados and West Indies pacer must have pushed for higher mortality rates in infants, regular independent audits and administrative restructuring and diligence.
WICB’s directors probably care even less for new-born infants than they do about the dignity of the likes of Chris Gayle and Dwayne Bravo. But financial scrutiny and no guaranteed free lunches would be a definite no-no.
So, the turkeys voted for Thanksgiving.
Rather than seek new leadership to get across the manic super-highway that is the BCCI, they chose blindfolds. And, once properly blindfolded, Cameron’s plans probably looked better than ever.
So, Wired868 welcomes in a new era of enhanced S&M techniques. The cricket associations have been bound, the players are gagged and fans are going to be whipped until they start liking it.
Enter: Fifty Shades of Dave.