It wasn’t me: “Minister Two Pull” adds copyright infringement to alleged wrongs

In the second worst impression of “It wasn’t me” that you are likely to hear—after these guys—Sport Minister Anil Roberts has denied being the figure in a viral video that shows a brash, loud mouth, big bald-headed idiot in a Ministry of Sport shirt attempting to roll a spliff.

Like everything else during his tenure, the bald headed clown who put the “imp” in “pimp” could not accomplish the task, delegated the chore and then tried to take credit for someone else’s expertise at it.

Mr Live Wire wants staff at the Ministry of Sport to write in if Roberts grinds his teeth at the aforementioned description, which should have nothing to do with him.

For now, the Sport Minister’s defence is basically: “Who you going to believe; me or your lying eyes and common sense?”

And, as luck would have it, common sense is as hard to find as a fully functional State watchdog these days.

“It is rather peculiar that an undated video, framing what is alleged to be a Minister of Government surfaces,” stated Vasant Bharath, in release from the Ministry of Trade, Industry, Investment and Communications, “one that carries no evidence of anything but a distraction from the real burning issues of the day…

“The Government sees this as nothing more than a vicious attempt at character assassination and will not validate it with any further commentary.”

It is uncertain why the Minister of Trade decided to park his Porsche next to this shady video; apart from the possibility that National Security Minister has reached his BS quota of the month, the Attorney General is happy to not be involved in a scandal for once and doesn’t want to jinx it, the COP boss could not stop laughing, nobody could remember who the Minister of Justice was; and Bharath lost a game of “rock, paper, scissors” with the Minister of Food Production.

But, bizarrely, it seems that while Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar took the word of a “deceitful temptress” over Chandresh Sharma—Mr Live Wire was unreliably informed that the young lady has this provocative description printed on her business cards—the PM is not willing to trust video evidence that could not be plainer if the figure involved started writing love letters to George Bovell III.

Trinidad and Tobago is on a swift descent into madness; and, since comedian Learie Joseph still has not volunteered his services, Mr Live Wire will try to explain how you know it is time for your country to get one of those Verna St Rose-Graves all-expenses paid two week vacation packages to St Ann’s Mental Hospital.

Hear madness:

Madness is… when the Sport Minister say is not he and his big, empty bald head like a fingerprint;

Madness is… when the Minister who pilot the anti-doping bill is allegedly shown in a video with drugs and prostitutes; and that still is not the most outrageous thing a minister do in the last month;

Madness is… when the PP run out of citizens to screw and Vincentian flight attendants and Colombian prostitutes have to run for cover;

Madness is… when the women in Woodbrook say business real slow because everybody going Parliament for vice now;

Madness is… when a woman allegedly give the Minister of the People satisfaction in a toilet and then vex she get a hamper and not a house;

Madness is… when you ask a bartender for something to warm up your chest that could fit in a shot glass; and he give you a “Glenn Ramadharsingh;”

Madness is… when you tell the bartender “no thanks, that drink sounds too fruity” and he push you down and charge you for a “Chandresh Sharma;”

Madness is… when people expect criminals to behave better than politicians and vex that they threaten Mark Bassant but say how Ramadharsingh was fatigued;

Madness is… when TV6 keeps referring to the “criminal underworld” when the criminals on top now and financing political parties and is you and me ketching we skin underneath them;

Madness is… when the National Security Minister assured an investigative journalist he will be as well protected as every other citizen in Trinidad and Tobago and all over the place people dropping like Government ministers’ pants;

Madness is… when they assassinate a prominent Senior Counsel in Woodbrook just after midnight on a Saturday and the police theory is that a criminal MIGHT be responsible;

Madness is… when a well-respected business leader says to pay the same police more money so they could solve the case; but nobody know if he paying his staff better than minimum wage;

Madness is… when the Opposition Leader call Jack Warner the biggest thief the country ever see; but then Warner put on a wig and glasses and Rowley make the man PNM treasurer.

Editor’s Note: If you enjoyed our take on Learie Joseph’s popular “Madness” skit, you might also enjoy THIS. 

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