Home / Live Wire / Jack’s Lynch-ing; US AG sends invite for Warner family reunion

Jack’s Lynch-ing; US AG sends invite for Warner family reunion

Chaguanas West MP Jack Warner, like so many scandal-engulfed politicians before him, looks set to quit his day job to “spend more time with his family.”

Only this time, it will be no empty platitude.

Photo: United States Attorney General Loretta E Lynch seems decidedly unlikely to fall for Jack Warner's charms.
Photo: United States Attorney General Loretta E Lynch seems decidedly unlikely to fall for Jack Warner’s charms.

After three years of giving United States law officials the wide berth by avoiding airports—and probably crossing the street whenever he neared a McDonald’s—Warner finally has a one-way ticket to the States on his horizons after United States Attorney General Loretta E Lynch signed him for a dirty dozen of racketeering charges.

Mr Live Wire is not saying that Warner’s goose looks well done. He’s just saying that the last time we saw US lawmen this excited; Osama Bin Laden was in a bodybag.

That Jack isn’t just getting hanged. It’s being Lynch-ed!

Before the Lynch-ing, comes the extradition case. And there will be something fitting about seeing Warner sold dreams while his pockets are emptied by lawyers who, no doubt, won’t be at the waving gallery to see him off.

But enough about his time with Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar SC…

Photo: Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (left) and Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar share a light moment during the 2010 FIFA Under-17 Women's World Cup in Trinidad and Tobago. Warner served as Works Minister and National Security Minister for the People's Partnership Government before his resignation in 2013. (Courtesy FIFA.com)
Photo: Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (left) and Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar share a light moment during the 2010 FIFA Under-17 Women’s World Cup in Trinidad and Tobago.
Warner served as Works Minister and National Security Minister for the People’s Partnership Government before his resignation in 2013.
(Courtesy FIFA.com)

Take our advice, Jack. Forget about blowing money on QCs and SCs and get Kevin Hart on the phone for some prison survival techniques.

There is more than a fair chance that Warner will soon have the most awkward family reunion outside of a Tyler Perry movie, when he comes face to face with his sons, Daryan and Daryll. The men he allegedly tutored in a life of a white-collar crime and then abandoned when the FBI pinched them in Miami.

Daryan and Daryll: “What the hell, dad! How could you desert us? We sent you a message saying the FBI had us under arrest!”

Jack: “Really? I thought you said: ‘FYI, the house is in a mess.’ Naturally, I left you guys to clean up after yourselves.”

Warner, a former FIFA vice-president and the People’s Partnership Government’s one-time acting Prime Minister, has retreated so far into his own dreamworld over the years that not even Leonardo DiCaprio would risk looking for him.

Photo: Chaguanas West MP and ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner.
Photo: Chaguanas West MP and ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner.

The millionaire football official once expressed surprise at former Planning Minister Mary King’s demise over a $100,000 State contract by describing the sum as “lunch money.”

Last night, Warner supposedly had a simple meal with spinach at the prison infirmary. His days of feasting with kings seem over. After securing his $2.5 million bail today, he left jail in an ambulance due, authorities claimed, to exhaustion.

Trinidad and Tobago—and much of the football world—is tired of him too.

Warner once posted bail for the likes of Ish Galbaransingh, Steve Ferguson and Oma Panday. No such benefactors showed up when his time of reckoning came.

Not even ex-TTFA president Oliver Camps dropped in to lift his spirit with a sing-along of Machel Montano’s “Pop a bottle.” Live Wire cannot confirm that Warner hummed “Single forever” instead.

Party done.

Photo: Ex-FIFA VP Jack Warner is looking at a possible 20-year jail sentence in the United States.
Photo: Ex-FIFA VP Jack Warner is looking at a possible 20-year jail sentence in the United States.

The most powerful sporting administrator that the Caribbean has ever seen, Warner allegedly abused his power to enrich himself rather than lift regional football.

And his claims of being a modern day “Robin Hood” were almost as nonsensical as the suggestion that the FBI arrested him to destroy the ILP’s chances of losing at least 40 deposits to the Elections & Boundaries Commission (EBC) at the 2015 General Elections.

Warner was never what he appeared to be. And he may soon discover that the self-declared “Land of the Free” does not always live up to its billing either.

At least he will soon be in close proximity with his sons again. Although it is not quite as heartwarming a tale as “Finding Nemo.”

Photo: The world's worst karaoke effort. Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (right) and his son Daryan politely respond to a question from then Trinidad Express reporter Lasana Liburd on the Simpaul Travel 2006 World Cup ticket scandal.
Photo: The world’s worst karaoke effort.
Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (right) and his son Daryan politely respond to a question from then Trinidad Express reporter Lasana Liburd on the Simpaul Travel 2006 World Cup ticket scandal.

Christmas shopping will surely be awkward for the Warner family. What do you get a career criminal who had everything?

Mr Live Wire suggests ankle bracelets. And “Oz: The Complete Seasons 1-6.”

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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113 comments

  1. well, any files on blatter he was hoping to buss might now be useless/weakened with that win today. What can he use as leverage with the Dept of Justice…to make a deal for himself and his children? If he cares enough…Maybe it is as Alana says. DoJ not going to fall for the smart man talk which we trinis love.

  2. And all who benefited from his monies should have to give evidence

  3. Brian TriniOne, thanks eh i thought he was comingling again

  4. Blazer got a rude awakening. the Feds squeezed him like an over ripe pimple. He knew what time it was and he decided keeping secrets wasn’t in his best interests any longer.

  5. Jack feel the rest of the world living in the 9 day wonder like Trinidad. Laws over there ain’t like here where you ignore them until you see the police coming or passing. Also not everybody is yuh partner, some ah dem trinis does do like dey eh know yuh. So Jack thought Blazer was he boi but as the old ppl say that was another thought coming

  6. Jack feels that we should protect him. He feels being in government protects him. He says his sons did nothing wrong and since FIFA is in Zurich, if he stole from FIFA then no one outside should study that. Jack is a sociopath.

  7. LOL!!!! One of your better ones to date LL !!! 😀 😀 😀

  8. Savitri: I am a quick one-finger typist. LOL. The other lawyer was an ILP lawyer.

  9. Lasana a business whiz in Trinidad wouldn’t cut it in the real world where there are actual laws regulating how business is to be conducted.

  10. And here they masquerade as business whizzes. :-/

  11. Hear nah……….
    Dey rely bungle it yuh know?

  12. Each one dumber than the last? LOL

  13. Vernal…Now you know why I call them Daryl & Daryl
    remember Multiplicity the movie?

  14. I wouldn’t send them with money to buy two quart ah hops!

  15. More like he send Larry & Moe..

  16. Jack move like Saddam, he send Uday and Qusay to do the risky work while he safe in he spider-hole.

    And by spider-hole ah mean Chagauanas West! Hahaha

  17. So wait?! Allyuh feel was only Jack spending money?! Dem is big men and knew what time it was. All pot sit on dey own bottom now.

  18. Jack look as if he have time with with them? They in custody and Jack studying Tanty and T&T elections

  19. I still studying how Jack send he son tuh distribute he ill gotten money between several banks in New York.
    He rely doh like he children or what?

  20. Yeah..I does raise mine in fete

  21. All yuh flag is red Mel, so when people see it dey does just sing forge! Hahaha

  22. Well it’s ‘supposed’ to raise red flags here too but..

  23. He should have put it in a safety deposit box! LOL

  24. Real amateurish operation there…..

  25. Yeah, that doesn’t work in real countries where best practices are the norm.
    That type of transaction raises red flags immediately because above all else Uncle Sam will not be denied his taxes!

  26. He thought he was in sweet T&T

  27. I laughed at that last night..

  28. This bit on Daryan Warner got me:
    “In one case, a teller at a JPMorgan Chase branch on New York’s Broadway said she had asked somebody for his driver’s license when he wanted to deposit 7,500 euros, which at the time translated to an amount just above the reporting threshold.

    The person then asked to be handed back 500 euros, which lowered the sum to $9,336.60. Earlier that day, a similar amount had been deposited at JPMorgan in Queens. The following day, another 7,000 euros was deposited at the Broadway branch.”

    Hilarious. They think every bank is like First Citizens.

  29. ^^^ it hard…yeah, it hard!

  30. oooooh gooooode!!!
    “Before the Lynch-ing, comes the extradition case. And there will be something fitting about seeing Warner sold dreams while his pockets are emptied by lawyers who, no doubt, won’t be at the waving gallery to see him off.

    But enough about his time with Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar SC…”

  31. Luck until after the elections where they would have no diplomatic immunity.

  32. He’s like a drowning swimmer, frantic to save himself he instinctively attemps to use nearby swimmers as flotation devices.
    Little does he know that it’s only luck keeping Kamla’s head above water, all of them might drown!

  33. Greer Cave, I think Jack Warner is desperate. Yes, he is trying to intimidate the Prime Minister. That’s what you get for partnering with characters like that.

  34. He bailed out Panday, Ferguson and Galbaransingh? Wow.

  35. Until the time reach when he realised that he’s the crapaud. Now he want to say he’s just a frog in a crapaud suit

  36. Greer Cave you might be right, he might very well see himself as just a guppy compared to Blatter.
    But in Jack’s own words “male crapaud female crapaud, same handful of salt”!

  37. I’m not in denial Christopher, Jack is

  38. Right now Jack is concerned with himself. Any other parent would have already been in the US from day one to protect their offspring even at their own demise. Jack is trying to save himself and if he can’t he’ll take a few ppl down with him for company

  39. Greer, you are in denial. He is in serious trouble. His real battle is against the U.S criminal justice system. Trinidad issues is kids stuff compared

  40. Greer – he’s not worried?? Is he the only person who doesn’t know that his two sons pleaded guilty and are facing 10 years in prison?? The PM can do nothing to change that. Forget her and focus on your sons. Guess they don’t make parents like they used to. Smfh.

  41. Chabeth, it is clear that he is on the war path. He intends to inflict as much damage that he can before elections. The question is whether he has a smoking gun?

  42. I don’t think he’s worried because in his mind he has done nothing wrong and he sees himself as a guppy compared to Blatter. Jack is not a fool and he’s playing with the PM and goading her into giving him what he wants – not to be eradicated. If I go down so do you mentality. It’s left to be seen if she gives in or leave him hanging, depends on how much is she and her govt willing to lose.

  43. He needs to give up every white collar criminal he knows. Hopefully they all passed money through the US and/or had meetings in the US.

  44. Jack is trying to create his own narrative for the Trinidad public.
    He’s a fool, he needs to worry about the Feds.

  45. He’s been couped up in the banana too long.
    Instead of speaking at political rallies he ought to be talking to the Feds. Whatever information he has would serve him best there.
    Same goes for Kamla!

  46. And Savitri, that black/indian thing will get worse if jack is extradited and Steve and ish are not. Ignore it.

  47. Even Jack sounding like he doesn’t understand this wasn’t a FIFA investigation.

  48. Chuck Blazer is from a “third world” country? And how many of the CONCACAF countries are not “third world”?

  49. Jack talking ah-pack-ah-ass.
    He’s a common racketeers and like all common racketeers before him he will bring down every other common racketeer of whose racket he has intimidate knowledge out of pure bitterness for getting caught.

    • Anyone in for a game of BLACK Jack….it’s quite easy to play
      …just look for a Black object of prominence and cut it down to the ground….no major requirements really other than you yourself must be BLACK….

      Remember, only prominent blacks to attack so please leave Ish and all other non-blacks who have raped this country, alone….its a Black on Black…Attack….