Home / Live Wire / Jack’s Lynch-ing; US AG sends invite for Warner family reunion

Jack’s Lynch-ing; US AG sends invite for Warner family reunion

Chaguanas West MP Jack Warner, like so many scandal-engulfed politicians before him, looks set to quit his day job to “spend more time with his family.”

Only this time, it will be no empty platitude.

Photo: United States Attorney General Loretta E Lynch seems decidedly unlikely to fall for Jack Warner's charms.
Photo: United States Attorney General Loretta E Lynch seems decidedly unlikely to fall for Jack Warner’s charms.

After three years of giving United States law officials the wide berth by avoiding airports—and probably crossing the street whenever he neared a McDonald’s—Warner finally has a one-way ticket to the States on his horizons after United States Attorney General Loretta E Lynch signed him for a dirty dozen of racketeering charges.

Mr Live Wire is not saying that Warner’s goose looks well done. He’s just saying that the last time we say US lawmen this excited; Osama Bin Laden was in a bodybag.

That Jack isn’t just getting hanged. It’s being Lynch-ed!

Before the Lynch-ing, comes the extradition case. And there will be something fitting about seeing Warner sold dreams while his pockets are emptied by lawyers who, no doubt, won’t be at the waving gallery to see him off.

But enough about his time with Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar SC…

Photo: Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (left) and Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar share a light moment during the 2010 FIFA Under-17 Women's World Cup in Trinidad and Tobago. Warner served as Works Minister and National Security Minister for the People's Partnership Government before his resignation in 2013. (Courtesy FIFA.com)
Photo: Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (left) and Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar share a light moment during the 2010 FIFA Under-17 Women’s World Cup in Trinidad and Tobago.
Warner served as Works Minister and National Security Minister for the People’s Partnership Government before his resignation in 2013.
(Courtesy FIFA.com)

Take our advice, Jack. Forget about blowing money on QCs and SCs and get Kevin Hart on the phone for some prison survival techniques.

There is more than a fair chance that Warner will soon have the most awkward family reunion outside of a Tyler Perry movie, when he comes face to face with his sons, Daryan and Daryll. The men he allegedly tutored in a life of a white-collar crime and then abandoned when the FBI pinched them in Miami.

Daryan and Daryll: “What the hell, dad! How could you desert us? We sent you a message saying the FBI had us under arrest!”

Jack: “Really? I thought you said: ‘FYI, the house is in a mess.’ Naturally, I left you guys to clean up after yourselves.”

Warner, a former FIFA vice-president and the People’s Partnership Government’s one-time acting Prime Minister, has retreated so far into his own dreamworld over the years that not even Leonardo DiCaprio would risk looking for him.

Photo: Chaguanas West MP and ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner.
Photo: Chaguanas West MP and ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner.

The millionaire football official once expressed surprise at former Planning Minister Mary King’s demise over a $100,000 State contract by describing the sum as “lunch money.”

Last night, Warner supposedly had a simple meal with spinach at the prison infirmary. His days of feasting with kings seem over. After securing his $2.5 million bail today, he left jail in an ambulance due, authorities claimed, to exhaustion.

Trinidad and Tobago—and much of the football world—is tired of him too.

Warner once posted bail for the likes of Ish Galbaransingh, Steve Ferguson and Oma Panday. No such benefactors showed up when his time of reckoning came.

Not even ex-TTFA president Oliver Camps dropped in to lift his spirit with a sing-along of Machel Montano’s “Pop a bottle.” Live Wire cannot confirm that Warner hummed “Single forever” instead.

Party done.

Photo: Ex-FIFA VP Jack Warner is looking at a possible 20-year jail sentence in the United States.
Photo: Ex-FIFA VP Jack Warner is looking at a possible 20-year jail sentence in the United States.

The most powerful sporting administrator that the Caribbean has ever seen, Warner allegedly abused his power to enrich himself rather than lift regional football.

And his claims of being a modern day “Robin Hood” were almost as nonsensical as the suggestion that the FBI arrested him to destroy the ILP’s chances of losing at least 40 deposits to the Elections & Boundaries Commission (EBC) at the 2015 General Elections.

Warner was never what he appeared to be. And he may soon discover that the self-declared “Land of the Free” does not always live up to its billing either.

At least he will soon be in close proximity with his sons again. Although it is not quite as heartwarming a tale as “Finding Nemo.”

Photo: The world's worst karaoke effort. Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (right) and his son Daryan politely respond to a question from then Trinidad Express reporter Lasana Liburd on the Simpaul Travel 2006 World Cup ticket scandal.
Photo: The world’s worst karaoke effort.
Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (right) and his son Daryan politely respond to a question from then Trinidad Express reporter Lasana Liburd on the Simpaul Travel 2006 World Cup ticket scandal.

Christmas shopping will surely be awkward for the Warner family. What do you get a career criminal who had everything?

Mr Live Wire suggests ankle bracelets. And “Oz: The Complete Seasons 1-6.”

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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113 comments

  1. More than likely they would have seen the evidence. They are probably waiting for the evidence to be authenticated by US authorities.

  2. Trinis listen, we must at least be protected by our own government. It is not justice when an extradition is requested and we acquiesced without even giving consideration to reading the requisite papers. We should have told those Americans that we will consider same, take sufficient time to read the papers, even if it took a month and then, if we are satisfied that there is sufficient evidence after consulting our senior lawyers then sign the papers. Saying the paper work was too bulky and agreeing to sign them within 15 minutes without due consideration for our citizen is unfair. This could have been anyone of us.

  3. I’ll wait to see the evidence. it’s weird that Trinidadians have so much faith in the US justice system. Based on what?

  4. for years America supported FIFA corruption why cry wolf know ,Jack was you or any FIFA official spying for the USA that went sour world leaders supported FIFA corruption including the USA

    If Jack have to go so must the entire PP Government they were spending the money too and what happen to ISH and Steve , Jack spill the bean it is bigger than the world thinks

  5. Went for a lil 5 days in Tobago and look at shit take place not 2 days into my holiday. And we have a few Houdini’s here Savitri Maharaj . They’re all slippery, fall through the cracks and land on their feet. Not holding my breath for anything. Looking on at the circus.

  6. I just realized if Jack Warner was still representing Trinidad and Tobago/CONCACAF he would have been arrested in Zurich Switzerland. Man, becoming the new teflon personality, yes.