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Italy bites the dust; Suarez makes a meal of Chiellini

It is irrefutable now. Uruguay and Liverpool striker Luis Suarez either needs a psychologist or a new dietician.

For the third time in his professional career, Suarez bit an opponent during a football match today as, en route to a 1-0 win for the South American nation, the gifted attacker sunk his teeth into the shoulder of Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini. Or, as the Uruguayan might put it, the KFC World Cup wing special was not bad at all.

Photo: Uruguay forward Luis Suarez (left) digests his snack of Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini. Presumably, he tasted like chicken. Dinner mints, anyone?  (Copyright AFP 2014/Javier Soriano)
Photo: Uruguay forward Luis Suarez (left) digests his snack of Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini.
Presumably, he tasted like chicken. Dinner mints, anyone?
(Copyright AFP 2014/Javier Soriano)

Thank heavens Uruguay was not playing Chile.

Brazil football teams tend to be particularly fond of that dish; and it is on their menu again after a 4-1 win for the “Samba Boys” against Cameroon yesterday. It means that Brazil, as Group A winners, will face Chile in the Round of 16 on Saturday.

Chile has only qualified for the World Cup finals twice before over the last four decades. On each occasion, the Chileans got to the second round; only to find Brazil waiting and licking its lips.

KFC Munch Pack

Gifted man-child Neymar, the present 2014 World Cup top scorer, will lead Brazil’s charge and he has been insatiable so far with four goals from three games to go with his array of flicks and tricks.

There was even a goal from Fred against Cameroon although Mr Live Wire would warn against reading too much into that. The Shaggy-look alike only scored against the most porous defence in the tournament; and, even then, he needed help from an inattentive referee’s assistant who did not spot that he was clearly offside.

Photo: Brazil forward Neymar (left) prepares to flick the ball around Cameroon midfielder Enoh Eyong.   (Copyright AFP 2014/Vanderlei Almeida)
Photo: Brazil forward Neymar (left) prepares to flick the ball around Cameroon midfielder Enoh Eyong.
(Copyright AFP 2014/Vanderlei Almeida)

Netherlands and Mexico are through too after wins over Chile and Croatia respectively and the former two nations will square off in knockout battle on Sunday evening; while Costa Rica was already into the Round of 16 too after two successive wins in Group D.

It meant that today’s main course was Uruguay versus Italy; essentially a scrumptious knock out contest between two former World Cup winners.

Suarez was chomping at the bit.

Pressure can do bizarre things to high-performance athletes. French star Zinedine Zidane lost his head in the 2006 World Cup final, Argentine legend Diego Maradona mistook a Brazilian’s testicles for the ball in the 1982 tournament and England attacker Wayne Rooney tried to give a Portugal defender a vasectomy in the 2006 competition.

And Suarez? Let’s say he likes a nibble when he gets excited.

In November 2010, Suarez got a seven-match ban for biting PSV Eindhoven midfielder Otman Bakkal; and, in April 2013, he received a 10-match suspension for making a meal of Chelsea and Serbia defender Branislav Ivanovic.

Photo: Seriously, when do we play Turkey?!
Photo: Seriously, when do we play Turkey?!

Almost certainly, Suarez will play no further part in the 2014 tournament after snacking on Chiellini late in the second half today. It will be a bizarre and a tragic farewell to the mad genius who rushed back from surgery to sink England with a brilliant double last week.

Suarez’s expulsion will probably be of little consolation to the Azzurri though, who was bitten and spat out of the World Cup today.


Today’s World Cup action

Group D

Uruguay 1 (Diego Godin 81), Italy 0

England 0, Costa Rica 0


Star of the Day

Uruguay defender Diego Godin settled a drab affair by diverting the winning goal past Italy goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon from a corner kick.


Villain of the Day

Uruguay attacker Luis Suarez was suspended for the 2010 World Cup semifinal after handling a shot from Ghana forward Asamoah Gyan on the goalline. But at least that infringement made tactical sense.

How can he explain mistaking Giorgio Chiellini for a Panini today? Bad, Suarez! Down boy! No biscuit!

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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  1. Hahahahahaha alyuh will need lots of therapy when Nigeria 2 vs Argentina 0 today.

  2. Yes. Just like in court, they will hear both sides, view evidence to see if it supports or rules out any testimony and then decide what they think is right.
    Uruguay can then appeal which won’t help them for this world cup.
    And, besides, appeals are well above the head of the team administration’s head. That is one FIFA member to his confederation president to FIFA.
    In other words, Uruguay will have to suck it up. This is life inside The FIFA; right or wrong.
    Personally, I think there is ample evidence to suggest what happened here. Suarez has had his last meal at Brazil 2014 in my opinion.

  3. So Jason and Lasana . Action will be taken based on the match commissioner’s “assumption” in his report? hmm…….

  4. Prandelli did the right thing. He failed and will give someone else a chance.
    All the Italian teams end up in Europa league now. That league is about par with Dutch league now. Castaways like Taraabt starring for Milan…
    Maybe Xavi and Villa should take two years there before they go to MLS and Middle East. Lol

  5. I don’t think the Italian league is performing well right now. Other than playing conditions, I think Prandelli got it wrong. He seemed indecisive in the months leading up to the World Cup, and was hunting last minute to decide on his final 23, unlike, Scolari & Deschamps who knew exactly what they wanted.

  6. Did everyone see Suarez response?

  7. ENG is crap etc, but how do we judge Italy? Back 2 back world cup eliminations in the 1st round (sandwiched between an impressive EUR0 201 run of course) – at least this is ENG 1st W-Cup elimination in 50+ years.

    I don’t think Italy are in a crisis though, so I’m surprised Prandelli resigned. IMO they still have much good players, league in fine & the Juventus defensive contingent still the best in world football. Think they like a few EURO teams probably at the end are struggled to deal with the conditions.

    After playing in the heat of Manaus, Italy usual fluid passing declined in every game.

  8. Most great players have their quirks… Maradonna used his hands… Platinni used his head… So what if Suarez takes a bite… Cheque please!!!

  9. I think he just love the taste of a sweaty jersey ….lmao…..

  10. Apparently he didn’t embarass his country here…poor Tullah Guerra

  11. Suarez should be banned from football until they verify or rectify, his strange behaviour

  12. They should ban him for the rest of his life. Steeuuppss.

  13. As a Liverpool supporter and a Saurez sympathiser (at times), I’m at a loss for words as to why he resorts to mandibular attacks on people. He came to Liverpool riding a suspension at Ajax for biting an opponent, was suspended at liverpool for a similar offense and now at football’s biggest stage he has repeated this mess. I expect a lengthy suspension to follow. Even if Uruguay eventually wins the whole shebang, their win will be cannibalised (pun intended) by Luis …

  14. I say was ramin’s noodles the man eating yes!!!

  15. Big up to my Liverpool striker!!! Ehehehehe….. he could make a good vampire for the next vampire series/movie…. Count Suarez! ah ah ah ah….

  16. Cameroon is ranked 56th and Brazil is ranked 3rd. A 4-1 win is a fair result but this still doesn’t convince me that Brazil can beat up on strong opposition as a merciless Dutch as they tried to do but failed against this lowly ranked Cameroon team.
    Cameroon lacked defensive midfield but their attacking prowess still ate Dani Alves for breakfast, lunch and dinner by exploiting him and Brazil’s wing backs. Their midfielder’s clinics were just as good as Neymar’s clinics for entertainment purposes; just that Cameroon’s were in midfield and Brazil’s were on top of the 18yd line.
    The Fabien Barthez ‘impersonator’ who looked like a cross between James Harden and Ragnar Lothbrook did not live up to the reputation of either. Wearing a no.16 jersey doesn’t give a keeper the right to play high. Brazil deserved their goals and took advantage of this main deficiency. Fred’s goal was clearly offside though. Mr. Live Wire is right on the money. Perhaps a 3-1 Scoreline? Imagine that! On this keeper’s performance! Seriously! Watch out for your spot at Real Casillas.
    Brazil’s long ball from the back to the wing caught Cameroon’s defence all square (shades of T&T). A 2014 Brazil is not as strong as Sweden 2006 and a ten man 2006 Trinidad and Tobago would probably hold them 0-0, 0-1 or 0-2 at most. Today’s T&T outfit would do much better than Cameroon and are capable of scoring 2 goals on this ‘11 ½ man’ Brazil team even though they might score 3 or 4 on us.
    Did anyone realise that Italy had to play most games in the midday hot sun?

  17. Just give him a five game ban, if you know what I mean

  18. ah wonder if Mike Tyson & Suarez related … nah, Tyson like ears, while Suarez seem to like shoulder

  19. Referee catching it or not has no bearing on player being disciplined after the match. If the ref misses it and there is video of the incident and a report is made action will be taken. If no video and the match commissioner notes it in his match report action will be taken.

  20. i honestly have no words! i am so disgusted! and strange enough, i am not surprised!

  21. Yes. Suarez biting Ivanovic for one. It happens very frequently Philip Ignacio SC

  22. Richard is there any precedence where a player got suspended when the referee did not take any action?

  23. I checked before I posted Richard. He missed three games because there were only three games left in the tournament. But it was listed as a four match ban.

  24. Not true…he got banned for 3 games…it had no effect because he had already retired.

  25. Zidane got nothing for head butting

  26. I think he will get a dread ban…

  27. That might make it worse. If the ref carded him, FIFA would have said that the ref already ruled. Now, FIFA can step in.

  28. It was crazy. I thought the Italian team showed amazing restraint to avoid going after him.

  29. Doh remember have trouble wit yesterday but I feel as de ref eh card him is de out.

  30. I am just so disappointed and infuriated how the referee did not do anything about it. There were so many fouls of Uruguay, but he only saw the ones in the Italian team. Ridiculous!

  31. he should be fined and miss 3games

  32. At 16, Suarez was sent off in a Uruguay youth match for headbutting a referee after a red card. Dude needs to finally exorcise his demons. Shrink needed.

  33. Philip, FIFA can still act even though the ref didn’t.

  34. I will like to see FIFA explain that though. It really is inexcusable. Remember Leonardo in 1994?

  35. I think he seriously needs help though. Urgently.

  36. Nope. It is because the referee missed it that they will throw the back at him. They don’t usually like to overrule referees.
    You’re in real trouble when the cameras spot something the referee missed.

  37. Suarez is going no where! Fifa crooked not stupid.

  38. I looked at his teeth and them is big choppers! lol not sure what FIFA can do though because the referee did not penalize him for anything. But he will be a marked man in the next round!

  39. The man was hungry for a win! ENT?

  40. “He asked for Panini” clearly Buhahahahah they brought Chiellini

  41. It was irrefutable after the second bite. What he needs now is a kennel, or a muzzle and leash, because clearly Liverpool’s psychologist is not making progress.