“Vindicated” Kamla gets vindictive; Live Wire unearths a fantastic plot

Spoiler alert: Sooner or later, Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar will be unable to keep a straight face. “Tanty Kamla” will just break down with uncontrollable laughter at a press conference or even in Parliament, while everyone stares at each other with confused expressions.

At that point, manned television cameras will emerge from neatly camouflaged hiding spots and we would finally know the truth.

Photo: Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar. (Copyright AFP 2014/Frederic Dubray)
Photo: Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar.
(Copyright AFP 2014/Frederic Dubray)

Trinidad and Tobago has been “punk’d” for the last five years. The People’s Partnership’s entire term was an elaborate hoax.

Sometime and somewhere, a television producer watched “How to lose a guy in 10 days” and figured “How to lose a country in five years” was potentially much more fun.

How else can you explain Persad-Bissessar’s decision to try and remove deputy Director of Public Prosecutions Joan Honore-Paul for the same statement she claimed vindicated her, just five days ago?

Last week, Honore-Paul suggested that Persad-Bissessar could not be cleared from an investigation while it was still ongoing by the Integrity Commission and Trinidad and Tobago Police Service. And that it was unhelpful to both investigations for the Prime Minister to claim otherwise.

In the real world, we call that logic.

The Prime Minister’s initial response was: “I am very happy. I feel vindica­ted by the statements made by the (deputy) Director of Public Prose­cutions… What more can I need?”

Yesterday, Persad-Bissessar addressed the same statement by the deputy DPP with: “My lawyers have told me that the deputy DPP in her media release trespassed against the constitutional remit of the Trinidad and Tobago Police Service and the Integrity Commission.

“Secondly my lawyers have told me that she has demonstrated bias and thirdly they have advised that we would call upon her to recuse herself from these investigations.”

Mr Live Wire also has a few concerns, after reading that statement.

Photo: Eh?!
Photo: Eh?!

Is the Prime Minister now suggesting that “logic” is biased against her Government? If so, should we be alarmed or is that a positive first step?

And where did this legal advice come from?

Is the Prime Minister so allergic to responsibility that she is claiming lawyers approach her to offer unsolicited advice before going off to file their own motions in her name, rather than suggest that she sought counsel to vindictively eliminate a woman who embarrassed her politically?

Or are those legal opinions actually voices in her head?

Either sounds plausible at this stage.

Media houses are probably phoning the likes of Martin Daly SC, Ramesh Lawrence Maharaj SC and Reginald Armour SC for a response to the Prime Minister’s latest salvo.

Mr Live Wire would have called Elder Associates and booked the PM a session on the couch. I mean saying that the Prime Minister’s change of tone over the DPP is a bit odd is like describing a whale as a “kinda big fish.”

And this is not to make fun of psychological illness. Far from it. It is starting to seem as though Persad-Bissessar’s entire election campaign is a genuine plea for help.

Photo: Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar gets a buzz from the local government election results. DPP?! Go home!
Photo: Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar gets a buzz from the local government election results.
DPP?! Go home!

And, like Lady MacBeth desperately trying to perfume her tainted hands, Tanty Kamla is doing everything she can think of to be free of her post, short of scrawling the message “HELP ME” on a piece of paper and holding it up for the television cameras while Roodal Moonilal’s back is turned.

Let us at least admit that taking on the DPP in an election year, after already aggravating the unions, accelerating the wastage of public funds and insulting the intelligence of right-thinking citizens, is like a horrible waiter telling you that you have ugly children, just before asking for a tip.

At this point, Opposition Leader Dr Keith Rowley can have political meetings that last for just five seconds. He only has to say: “I’m not Kamla…” drop the mic and walk off stage.

Maybe, though, we will find out that it was all a bizarre reality show where a middle aged woman tried to infuriate a sleepy, lackadaisical two island republic by pulling gags like: riding to work in a helicopter while asking public servants to ban their belly, refusing to appoint a permanent Police Commissioner in the face of rampant crime, appointing a man mired in financial scandals to run the Ministry of Finance and passing legislation capable of freeing persons charged with stealing billions of taxpayers’ dollars on Independence Day.

Hahahahaha! You got us good there, Tanty Kamla.

Photo: Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (left) and Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar share a light moment during the 2010 FIFA Under-17 Women's World Cup in Trinidad and Tobago. (Courtesy FIFA.com)
Photo: Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (left) and Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar share a light moment during the 2010 FIFA Under-17 Women’s World Cup in Trinidad and Tobago.
(Courtesy FIFA.com)

There is only nagging problem with that theory though.

Surely not even Stephen King could dream up characters as perverse and morally depraved as “Anil Roberts” and “Vernella Alleyne-Toppin.”

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About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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102 comments

  1. Attack attack attack!
    All who want positions if gov’t changes are coming out from every nook and cranny
    Every young,maharaj and paul
    looking for a pound of flesh.
    Strange how people in the same profession can read the same thing and infer differently but i guess it depends on their personal bias and what they hope to achieve

  2. .. all these ‘silly’ acts by PP is designed to – 1. distract while they do covert transactions.. 2. rile the ppl of T&T so they can call a SOE.. 3. have their blind loyal followers believe that they are being gratuitously harassed by the opposition and others.. 4 avoid handcuffs… Similar strategies may have worked in Guyana twenty-three yrs ago.. I wish to commend ppl of T&T for their patient intelligence so far…

  3. I’m getting more nad more concerned that the prediction of those BP Riskadvisors (forgot the name of the Company) will be correct, seeing how she already kicking the law and good governance with all the feet available to her and her crooks; i’m worried how she and her troups will take the defeat after the elections….

  4. Well if that’s the case Lasana. She’s saying something some of us knew all along

  5. From all these comments I feel “vindicated” that the masses now understand more than the politicians think they do….hmmm

  6. By saying the deputy DPP is biased against the PP merely by exhibiting logic… Is the PM saying that all PP supporters are illogical human beings?

    • well,, such an immoral positions show your bias quite clearly …

      I pray one day, you stand accused and the DPP’s office does the same to you…

      watch how quickly what is right will become wrong …..
      what you NOW call logic will quickly become a breach of your fundamental rights …

      thank you for showing that you have no moral compass, and the PNM is your only master …
      ALL evils of the PNM shall be deemed “GOOD” by you ….

      • What the DPP did was offer an update on an ongoing investigation that became necessary due to false rumours being spread in the public domain, which was forced her to protect the dignity of her office.
        What upsets you is that the person spreading false information was the Prime Minister. Had it been the Opposition Leader or ILP leader, you would have had no problem.
        The DPP did not make a political statement. She made a statement of fact.
        Pity you cannot tell the difference.

        • wait? the letter received by the PM was a false Rumor ?
          what false romour was the deputy DPP responding to ?

          Look Lasana, stop your typical PNM revert to making up lies, when you cannot defend your immoral position …..

          Lasana, you are now accusing the PM of never reciving the letter and making up lies to the people of T&T …

          you are an utterly disgusting human being …
          you are the type of person that makes this nation vile….

          you are worse than the corrupt politicians …

        • and lasana ,,
          the deputy DPP did not defend the integrity of her office…

          she destroyed it …

          she could have made a simple statement of fact, from a NEUTRAL positions and left it at that …
          but that is NOT what she did ….

          but there remains a 6 page letter demonstrating clear bias and total support of the opposition leader and no respect for the rights of the PM under the law ….

          for people like you to defend people in public office misusing their office as the deputy DPP has done is disgusting …

          forget Kamla and Rowely …
          they are saints compared to the deputy DPP and people like you who defend her horrible action…

  7. Oh lawd.. Nicole went ‘box lunch’ on dem..lmaooo

  8. Greer Cave…like you forget them share silk amongst themselves like it was box lunch sharing as they get into office?

  9. Great piece. So I gather that she doesn’t know the constitution, then what is the SC for?

  10. The faith of certain high rollers in society is very much dependent on the outcome of the upcoming general elections. To me this is the reason why the election date has not been called yet, even though the PP is campaigning hell hard, and also why the investigations are taking so long. Mr. Basdeo Panday was the only ex-prime minister to “make ah jail” for failing to declare a London bank account but he was out as soon as he complained of not feeling well. So what has Mrs. Bissessar to fear but then again we talking about a plot to murder, big difference!

  11. Thanks for alerting us to what the REAL issues are, eh David. :-/

  12. Brilliant: holding up ‘HELP ME’ sign ….while Roodal Moonilal’s back is turned. Lol at that element of finesse (and) insight.

  13. Why the silence on the lack of accounts from the THA since 2006?
    Why the silence on the nearly 200 rental contracts costing taxpayers millions a day signed in 2010?

  14. I continue to be dumbfounded by what passes for governance. But I suppose when the majority of your citizens don’t seem to give a rats ass cause they busy planning “Summer” vacation and when the first band launch going to be, then you could get away with anything. Carry on smartly people.

  15. Gotta admit that the PM’s shenanigans generally are impossible to ignore.

  16. We don’t discuss any issues in this canpaign:

    1) Energy prices are depressed and not predicted to return to previous levels anytime soon, if at all. What is the plan for this sustained revenue shortfall?

    2) Coupled with the energy prices, our proven reserves are shrinking. What’s the plan for our economic base long term?

    3) Crime remains a serious problem and a threat to our economic and social stability. What’s the plan for treating with that?

    4) Our foreign exchange reserves are moving towards critical levels. What’s the plan to deal with that?

    5) Health care remains an issue in this country with no apparent signs of sustained improvement.

    6) Political reform remains a pipe dream with no apparent will to address the issue in a meaningful manner.

    Talk to these issues and you will find a growing number of disaffected voters paying attention to what you are saying.

  17. That’s what happens when you let Johnny Walker talk for you. You have to get your lawyers to advise you how to feel.

  18. I know Kendall Tull. I felt it still worked for my point. Which is, if you think about it, that a tremendous over-simplification had been made. 😉

  19. “I mean saying that the Prime Minister’s change of tone over the DPP is a bit odd is like describing a whale as a “kinda big fish.””

    This would mean that the statement is false as a whale is not a big fish – it is a mammal.

    I am guess this latest turn of events has got your goat Lasana. In this silly season, I have no expectation of any kind of serious discourse on anything.

  20. Trying to picture Dr Rowley at a public meeting: “I AM NOT KAMLA” drops mic, walks off stage… #ded

  21. I just hope it’s silly enough for the so called fence sitters to jump off said fence like a bat out of hell!!

  22. Lasana, people gonna start quoting the article, buss out laughing and fall off their chairs

  23. “Trinidad and Tobago has been “punk’d” for the last five years. The People’s Partnership’s entire term was an elaborate hoax.” -CLASSIC

  24. “I’m not Kamla” drops mic #classic. This piece was excellentto say the least. Today I felt sad reading the newspapers. While I am not sold on Dr. Rowley (given some of his gaffes his year) but i am convinced the PP Government is nothing short of a dictatorship hiding under the guise of democracy. I mean doesn’t it make you sik to your stomach, first she goes after David West who all he did wrong was not agree to be bribed by the PP Government, now the DDPP, I mean when is this “bleep bleep” nonsense going to stop, I think I have to vote the PNM even if it means its just to get these pack of morally corrupt persons out of Government. And while it might be too much, because of this banana republic country we live in to hope that these ministers make get severe jail times, I really hope at least 3-4 of them see the confines of a jail for double digit amount of years. I really am disgusted by this government right now, they have absolutely no redeeming qualities. You can’t attack people and the independent institutions in this country just because they don’t agree with your definition of “what’s right” I mean aghhh! Ok let me stop b4 I can no longer hold back the profanities.

  25. Whom the Gods wish to destroy, they first make mad

  26. If I am not mistaken, those issues were “dealt with” in 2010. Mind you, I am still awaiting the prosecutions. All I have seen is persecutions. But ” doh hutt yuh head”, the current issues will be dealt with just as decisively

  27. Impossible to ignore is an understatement. I am usually left in a state of open mouthed disbelief.

  28. Nicole Ulerie my fav too…lol but the waiter is not bad either, cause it is so real, have seen that already, he didnt say ugly kids though… it was somathing else…lol

  29. Ian the result justifies the means? I have some really horrible examples that come to my mind to prove that wrong…..

  30. scrawling the message “HELP ME” on a piece of paper and holding it up for the television cameras while Roodal Moonilal’s back is turned.” Ah cyar take it! Kyar kyar kyar!!! Oh gorsh meh bely!

  31. I have said it before and i will repeat myself: Her Campaign team is being run by Undercover PNM Activists…. there is no other explanation…. I find “I’m not Kamla, drop the mic and walk off ” was the best part…lol

  32. This is really a puzzle to me.

    “Is the Prime Minister so allergic to responsibility that she is claiming lawyers approach her to offer unsolicited advice before going off to file their own motions in her name, rather than suggest that she sought counsel to vindictively eliminate a woman who embarrassed her politically?

    Or are those legal opinions actually voices in her head?”

  33. OMG!! I laughed til I cried when I read the paragraph about the “help me” note…CLASSIC!!

  34. ‘At this point, Opposition Leader Dr Keith Rowley can have political meetings that last for just five seconds. He only has to say: “I’m not Kamla…” drop the mic and walk off stage.’
    I think that strategy could actually work!

  35. During the past 5 years this government has attacked every institution created by the constitution.

  36. Lasana careful eh they will turn their canons on you shortly you know they can’t take dissent

  37. This cannot be happening nah! I am too taken aback to even think

  38. Wow! You outdid yourself with this one Lasana..Your articles are keeping us sane in this country of madness. What is frustrating is that despite the constant nonsense of this current administration, there are people (lots) who will still try to defend the indefensible and yes vote for this bunch AGAIN (would you believe I just scared myself?) We have “political analysts” who it would seem do not even care about their reputations anymore, and who will conjure up an article praising her every move(even when these moves seem to defy cerebral proficiency.) If Kamla ever plans on going back to her law practice after “serving” the people (and no, serving is not synonymous with torturing) she is doing herself no favours with her constant defiance of simple logic (the basic ability of any 2×4 lawyer.) It’s really sad to see that after all the struggles of women over the years and all their strides, a woman has managed to elevate and rise to the highest post of this nation, but will go down as the WORST Prime Minister that this country has ever seen. And what seems worse is that she doesn’t seem to care about her legacy. Apparently just making it to the post was enough for her. So sad.

  39. I was wondering if the minions are as confused by the Prime Minister’s erratic behavior as I am, but then I saw the second comment on this thread!

  40. Ian Gooding
    You for real? Eat your food and stay quiet.

  41. Love this article. I guess there is stll more to come

  42. The majority of Trini’s are benefiting. That is the bottom line.

  43. Why would a Senior Counsel need to be told by her lawyers what to do? Will she be doing this in her capacity as PM? Will taxpayers be funding this madness. Anyone remember David West. Can the PM use a dictionary? And most important question…WHEN IS THE FIRETRUCKING ELECTION?

  44. Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!

    Only problem is that some of the characters in this reality show certainly went off-script, as if they were trying to maneuver their own spinoff series …
    Who wants to become an instant millionaire?
    Deal or No Deal – Government Contract Edition
    Baggage – Ministerial Misconduct
    Family Eat-Ah-Food
    Trinis Got Talent – Conmen Edition
    Real Housewives (and Mistresses) of Ministers

    The list goes on …

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