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Tag Archives: crime plan

Suruj gives Beetham ethical lesson, which ends with more 69

Local Government Minister Suruj Rambachan toured Beetham Gardens yesterday with the acting Police Commissioner and Defence Force Chief and promised 100 URP jobs. Presumably, Beetham residents are less squeamish about $69 than East Port of Spain. Beggars, as people of means keep telling themselves, cannot afford to be saints. Rambachan …

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East PoS gets six for a nine

East Port of Spain residents were hopping mad yesterday and took to the streets to protest about getting a six for a nine from National Security Minister Jack Warner. Literally. Last week, Warner said that his “People and Projects for Progress” would create jobs, end poverty and reduce crime in …

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Warner unveils new crime plan; and it’s a gag

Scene: Ministry of National Security Minister Jack Warner: “It is apparent, of course, that Rowley and his mob are responsible for the high murder rate in this country. I propose that we formulate a plan that will curb their activities and allow the people of Laventille to live in peace” …

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Lies, damn lies and statistics

Scene: An unknown place of great beauty Jack Warner (looking around, bewildered): “Who are you?” Deity: “I am known by many names, but you would know me as God.” Jack: “God? But you don’t look anything like Morgan Freeman!” God: “Sigh. Ever since “Bruce Almighty” everyone seems disappointed when they …

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Action man wows Beverly Hills

Laventille was left in awe of the “Action Man” this weekend as, within hours of promising a National Security branch in Beverly Hills, excavators were already clearing the land. “I must say that it is very good and he showing that for a minister, he care about the people and …

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Jack confuffles the Guardian

National Security Minister Jack Warner was up to his old Jedi mind tricks yesterday as he denied any knowledge that he was being investigated by the IRS as reported exclusively in Wired868. And, possibly sensing the chance to rewrite history, Warner added the bizarre claim that: “I have never faced …

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Beverly Hills braces for 52-point crime plan

Scene: Office of Acting Commissioner of Police. Phone rings. “Good morning, Stephen Williams speaking.” “Good morning, Sir. Acting Assistant Commissioner Fredericks here.” “Yes, What can I do for you, AAC Fredericks?” “Well, sir, it’s about the Minister’s new 52-point crime plan…” “Ah, yes, the crime plan. Interesting reading, isn’t it?” …

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Criminal minds ready to tackle local crime

Scene: Office of the Minister of National Security Phone rings: “Good morning. Minister Warner speaking.” “Good morning, Minister.  Williams here.” “Yes, Commissioner. How can I help you?” “Well, Minister, you sent me some tips for tackling crime in East Port of Spain?” “Ah, yes. You mean the behavioural profiles?” “I …

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Jack: Suffer the children

School children have a lot in their book bags these days including wildly fluctuating academic assessment plans and enough books to fill a library. It might get worse though after National Security Minister Jack Warner suggested that a good cut-tail for little Jason and Natasha is just what Trinidad and …

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Jack gets tough on criminal statistics

National Security Minister Jack Warner yesterday challenged Trinidad and Tobago’s criminal elements in a showdown at Abercromby Street, Port of Spain. Not the criminals who destroy lives though; just the ones who are bad for his own reputation. After a weekend with seven murders, Warner ignored the gunmen and police …

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Another vital Ministry in the works

Scene: Office of National Security Minister Phone Rings: “Good Morning, Renraw, I mean Warner, speaking.” “Good Morning Minister, Collin here.” “Collin? Collin who?” “Collin Partap, Minister, your deputy.” “Ah yes, Mr Phonetap. What can I do for you?” “Well Minister, I’m still a little upset about our appearance on Morning …

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Jack’s Shaq-attack inspires youth; broken hearts to follow

National Security Minister Jack Warner, with typical pizzazz, yesterday unveiled his first crime fighting plan with a little help from seven foot one ex-NBA star Shaquille O’Neal. O’Neal and PM Kamla Persad-Bissessar launched the “Hoops of Life” competition in the Beetham Gardens, which will pay out $1.75 million in prize …

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