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COP chairman discovers time-travel

COP chairman Joseph Toney presumably stunned reporters yesterday with news that he has discovered time travel. Toney was recently handed a legal brief for the CLICO Commission of Enquiry by Finance Minister Larry Howai in what COP Leader Prakash Ramadhar described as a fair move. It only required the allegedly …

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Warriors run riot against Anguilla

Tropical Storm Rafael was arguably not the most awesome sight at Warner Park in St Kitts and Nevis yesterday evening as the Trinidad and Tobago national senior football team thumped Anguilla 10-0 to seal its place in the Caribbean Cup semifinal round. The “Soca Warriors” only needed to avoid a …

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Beyond a Boundary

When in 1963 CLR James completed his seminal work on cricket, the title of which I have borrowed for this column, his introduction posed a simple question to readers. ‘‘What do they know of cricket, who only cricket know?’’ James was of the mind that, in order to fully understand …

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Doubles vigilante confesses… to his innocence

Scene: Interview Room, Central Police Station. Investigating Officer: “So, Mr Shane Gopeesingh-Aleong, can we go over your statement again, please? Now, you said you were working in a soup kitchen all morning helping to feed women who were victims of domestic violence. Is that correct?” Shane: “Yes, sir. You see …

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Warriors make bright Caribbean Cup start

Twenty-five-year-old United States-based playmaker Keon Daniel was credited with a fine individual performance in St Kitts yesterday evening as Trinidad and Tobago shook off an early deficit to trounce French Guiana 4-1 in its opening Caribbean Cup qualifying match. Daniel, who is employed by Major League Soccer (MLS) outfit Philadelphia …

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Warner unveils new crime plan; and it’s a gag

Scene: Ministry of National Security Minister Jack Warner: “It is apparent, of course, that Rowley and his mob are responsible for the high murder rate in this country. I propose that we formulate a plan that will curb their activities and allow the people of Laventille to live in peace” …

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Lies, damn lies and statistics

Scene: An unknown place of great beauty Jack Warner (looking around, bewildered): “Who are you?” Deity: “I am known by many names, but you would know me as God.” Jack: “God? But you don’t look anything like Morgan Freeman!” God: “Sigh. Ever since “Bruce Almighty” everyone seems disappointed when they …

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Warner, Wired868 grieve for 2012’s last murder victim

King Canute almost found the answer to global warning. The Danish King strode to the seaside and commanded the tide to stop rising. Simplicity is thought to be golden; but not in this case. Canute ended up wetter than Ian Alleyne. National Security Minister Jack Warner, faced with a stubborn …

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