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“[…] So why should Darryl Smith not be applauded on Fathers’ Day? […] Does his ministerial indiscretion of some years ago automatically exclude him from being a good father?
“[…] Ms Dennise Demming’s moral outrage against the Guardian for their temerity, and her seeming inability to say to Mr Smith ‘Go and sin no more’ is, quite unfortunately, part of the continuing violence in our society, that refuses to forgive, that refuses to believe anyone can change…”
The following Letter to the Editor, by Nalis chairman and former MP Neil Parsanlal, responds to Dennise Demming’s criticism of the Trinidad Guardian for publishing a column by disgraced former Minister of Sport Darryl Smith on Father’s Day:
As I sit in the early morning stillness of the Hong Kong International Airport—bustling a few hours ago with thousands of travellers, but now reduced to a few of us, anticipating the dawn of a new day, and the second leg of my journey home—I could not help reflect on the subject of rebirth, rejuvenation, and redemption.
I had been deeply troubled by the broadside against the Guardian and Darryl Smith by an elder and senior practitioner, Dennise Demming. In her published op-ed, she castigated the Guardian for identifying Mr Smith as a father worthy of recognition in their Fathers’ Day Supplement.
Lest it be thought otherwise, let me state unequivocally that I hold no brief for either the Guardian or Mr Smith. Indeed, if Mr Smith is guilty of half the things for which he was accused, the Prime Minister was absolutely right in revoking his ministerial appointment.
Ms Demming’s consternation was raised by what she perceived to be the Guardian’s elevation of Mr Smith as a role model, and the message that sent to other men. She recalled, in depth, Mr Smith’s indiscretions at the Ministry of Sport and, in my estimation, stopped just short of calling for his public flogging and abandonment to the Siberian outposts.
(Copyright Trinidad Guardian)
As a husband for 22 years and a father for 21, I have admired and applauded Mr Smith’s devotion to his children, as they all continue to pursue and excel in their various fields of academia and sports.
Mr Smith’s children have proudly flown the red, white and black in more countries than most of us have visited. And through it all, he has been at their side. He is present, visible, and their biggest cheerleader. He is chauffeur, coach, and water-boy.
So why should he not be applauded on Fathers’ Day? Is that not what we are calling on fathers to do?
Does his ministerial indiscretion of some years ago automatically exclude him from being a good father? When will his redemption come?
(via MSYA)
There is in this country, an unfortunate search for perfection in our leaders. It is partly what accounts for their inability to be vulnerable to the population—to admit that they do not have all the answers, or even that they made mistakes and offer their mea culpas.
And Ms Demming, a former chairman of a state board, should be all too familiar with that search. Her tenure there, brief and tempestuous some argue, cannot be the yardstick by which she will be forever identified.
She has done so much more and made so many valuable contributions, and it would be entirely unfair if that Sword of Damocles was held over her head forever—even as she holds one over Mr Smith’s already exposed neck.
Ms Demming’s moral outrage against the Guardian for their temerity, and her seeming inability to say to Mr Smith “Go and sin no more” is, quite unfortunately, part of the continuing violence in our society, that refuses to forgive, that refuses to believe anyone can change, that refuses to give second chances to anyone.
My only and unsolicited advice to Mr Smith is to keep on being a witness to fatherhood and to second chances.
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It is very unfortunate and quite sad, (but not the first time) that my ex-wife has revealed personal information to try and destabilise the family unit in this manner. Given that, my attorneys have written to her again, advising her that an application for an exclusion order will be forthcoming.
A pity the lady did not see it fit to offer an answer to the headline’s second question.
But you can have no complaint, Neil, about the fullness of the answer to the first.
I found the response reminded me indirectly of a famous question from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar: Doth not Brutus bootless, Neil?
Dear Former Minister. I fully understand your defense of your friend. For some people, friendship means defending another no matter what. When the Former Minister’s children google him this is an example of what will come up: https://wired868.com/?s=If+chivalry+really+is+dead%2C+maybe+the+Police+Service+should+consider+bringing+in+Sport+Minister+Darryl+Smith+for+questioning.
In case you do not wish to check the link, here is the text:
If chivalry really is dead, maybe the Police Service should consider bringing in Sport Minister Darryl Smith for questioning.
The Diego Martin Central MP set a new mark for family values today—and Mr Live Wire is thinking ‘skid mark’—when he took to Facebook to threaten to throw his wife of 12 years and mother of his four children out of the family home.
Smith’s public threat followed the leaking of a video which showed the super-sized sweetman getting frisky with former Ministry of Sport and Youth Affairs PRO Kate Balthazar.
Photo: Sport Minister Darryl Smith (right) takes a hands-on approach to his staffers, as he poses with then communications officer Kate Balthazar.
“Frisky” is relative, of course. Smith lay on his back on a couch—as though waiting for the tide to come back in—while Kate did all the legwork. Minus the kissing, it was probably a perfect metaphor for his time as Sport Minister so far.
Smith, who blamed his “ex wife” for the leaked video, claimed to be setting the record straight via the social media.
“The facts are as follows: I am the person in the video footage inside my own home,” stated Smith, who would have been spot on if he stopped right there. But he didn’t.
“It is imperative to note,” said the Sport Minister, “that my marriage was dissolved by Order of the Family Court more than seven (7) months ago…”
Only, it wasn’t. Smith began divorce proceedings in early 2017 but, Wired868 was reliably informed, is still married and will be for another two months at least.
The Sport Minister is separated but not divorced. But, like most politicians, he tried to have it both ways. So, without explicitly using the word “divorced” in his press statement, he referred to his partner as “ex-wife”.
Photo: Sport Minister Darryl Smith (right) makes a pass at Minister of Public Utilities Fitzgerald Hinds at the Hasely Crawford Stadium training ground on 20 January 2017.
Hinds did not press charges.
(Courtesy Sean Morrison/Wired868)
Not that Smith trying to have it both ways would come as a surprise to anyone who has followed his exploits at the Sport Ministry.
The inconvenient truth that Smith also neglected to mention in his statement was that the romantic interlude with his former employee—she has since swapped ministries—was taking place in the house that he shares, at present, with his wife while she was out.
Presumably without irony, Smith also said “my entire focus continues to be on the emotional well-being of my children” and followed that up with “my attorneys have written to [my wife] again, advising her that an application for an exclusion order will be forthcoming.”
So Smith will petition the court to have his wife and four children—ages nine, eight, six and three—tossed out ahead of schedule on the alleged grounds that she embarrassed him by leaking footage of what he got up to in their home.
Too bad Justice Rolston Nelson can’t take that one.
Photo: FIFA president Gianni Infantino (centre) and TTFA president David John-Williams (left) turn the sod at the Ato Boldon Stadium in Couva on 10 April 2017 while Sport Minister Darryl Smith, as usual, pretends to help.
(Courtesy Sean Morrison/Wired868)
Smith’s statement:
On Friday December 22nd 2017, specific video footage from my home security system was taken by my ex-wife and leaked via social media.
It is imperative to note that my marriage was dissolved by Order of the Family Court more than seven (7) months ago.
[…] My entire focus continues to be on the emotional well-being of my children but I have now been forced by this leak and the further embellishment of this story to clarify the facts.
The facts are as follows:
I am the person in the video footage inside my own home.
This was a family setting in which my father and other family members were present. The rest of video footage (deliberately not leaked) clearly portrays context.
It is uncanny that the footage was leaked on the very day that the financial aspect of my divorce was finalised.
It is very unfortunate and quite sad, (but not the first time) that my ex-wife has revealed personal information to try and destabilise the family unit in this manner. Given that, my attorneys have written to her again, advising her that an application for an exclusion order will be forthcoming.
Photo: Trinidad and Tobago’s London Olympics 4×100 metre relay team of (from left) Richard Thompson, Emmanuel Callender, Marc Burns and Keston Bledman put on a brave face as they pose with Sport Minister Darryl Smith (centre) in a ceremony at The Anchorage, Carenage on 29 June 2016.
(Courtesy Allan V Crane/CA Images/Wired868)
Equally as shameful, but not surprisingly (sic), is that some of my political opponents on social media have chosen to use this to pontificate and preach about moral behaviour in public office for their own myopic and self-serving agendas.
I want to thank my family, friends, constituents and all of my well wishers for the numerous texts and calls of support.
Former Minister I also note that the Guardian article never referenced the biological mother of the children. The next time you enjoy the luxury of an international airport I hope your musings will be about complete forgiveness and elevating the men whom we can truly use as role models. Be Safe!