Home / Live Wire / TTPS unearths terrorist threat to Soca Kingdom; Live Wire tries to get to bottom of bacchanal

TTPS unearths terrorist threat to Soca Kingdom; Live Wire tries to get to bottom of bacchanal

Somewhere in Trinidad, there is a man with an axe to grind this Carnival season. Shunned by the establishment and forced to live on the fringes of society, the gentleman has apparently planned a spectacular counter-attack on the land of bacchanal, dodgy tenders and roti police.

But enough about Sunny Bling and his toting feelings after being chucked out of the Soca Kingdom on Machel Monday.

Photo: Next time ah see Machel… Tell him is Showtime!

Mr Live Wire sat up straight after a terse media warning combined two words that have no business together. No not “carnival” and “terrorist”—but “police” and “intelligence.”

The Trinidad and Tobago Police Service, according to Public Information Officer and acting ASP Michael Jackman, received ‘intelligence’ that a group of men intended to disrupt Carnival on Monday and Tuesday with criminal conduct. One of the men is still at large.

So, ahmm, be careful and try not to get killed by an Isis splinter cell… But mostly have fun. Carnival sweet fuh days!

The United Kingdom went further in its travel advisory to British tourists: “Remain vigilant and avoid crowded places and large gatherings.”

And that leaves where exactly besides the Calypso Revue Tent? After all dem decades and the Queen still doesn’t understand Carnival in the colony? Really?!

It is like your wife of 20 years asking you if you want slight or heavy pepper in your doubles.

“Woman, yuh know that tall man at Rufina’s hand heavy… Yuh trying to kill mih?!”

Photo: Oh gorm, Carlos Brathwaite… Get Ben Stokes a red Solo self nah!

So, to summarise, acting ASP Jackman thinks it is important to know that some people wanted to mash up the place for Carnival. But he refused to say who, what, when, where or how.

Doh say Police ent warn allyuh!

It reminded Live Wire of a gripping scene in Men in Black when Will Smith, who plays the role of an intergalactic immigration officer and regulator of all things alien, suggests that the urgency of the situation meant they could not afford to withhold information from the public.

His colleague and superior, played by Tommy Lee Jones, knew better.

“There’s always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser or a Corillian Death Ray or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable little planet,” he said, “and the only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they DO NOT KNOW ABOUT IT!”

Even fake, untrained, comedic lawmen make more sense than the TTPS. Although, to be fair, Jackman is an ‘actor’ too. Just like acting COP Stephen Williams and acting deputy COP Deodat Dulalchan. Go figure.

Will there be a drop in turnouts now for Carnival—at a time when the country can least afford it?

Mr Live Wire won’t let such a vague warning change his plans for Carnival Monday and Tuesday. But, just to be safe, keep an eye out for Sunny Bling!

Photo: Ma’am, please look straight into the light and then go enjoy Jouvert… Hell, go Nouvert and all!

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

Check Also

Helon was Rudder-like! St Bernard sees positive calypso change coming from the new generation

The return of the Kings and Queens to Sunday’s Dimanche Gras made for a good …

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

23 comments

  1. BTW, who is representing the Maxie Cuffie constituency in Parliament? So many issues we just let slide.

    • Yeah. This is not a new concern about ailing MPs either. I suspect that Maxie might have problems receiving his magnificent health coverage if he was replaced. That’s the only reason I can think of that a replacement wasn’t named.
      It is humane on the one hand. But I also fear it leaves constituents disadvantaged.

  2. Today’s Guardian:
    “Five of the 13 people detained in relation to an alleged terrorist plot targeting recently concluded Carnival celebrations, were released by police between Wednesday evening and last night…”
    http://www.guardian.co.tt/news/2018-02-15/imam-knocks-police-intel

  3. They need to have trained sniffer dogs who are trained to secure the perimeter for explosives that could be lodged under stages or at venues where the crowds are large ,this shit is serious , Why did they let those ISIS members back in our land ???

  4. Lasana you’ve truly found your calling. You keep us #Wired

  5. …then again, there’s always Blingdom. #JusSayin

  6. Take heart Sunny Bling, all “kingdoms” have their entry criterion. Choose wisely!

  7. If Muslims attack Carnival in T&T, you can bet it will spark off suppression of the religion here. Carnival is the only thing we take seriously. It will also give the USA the pretext to set up shop here military wise to “protect their interests” one step closer to that sweet Venezuelan and Guyanese oil.

  8. UK. Canada. US

    CNN has a long ticker tape story on the matter, being very specific about “Trinidad and Tobago’s popular carnival under ISIS terror threat in especially crowds”

  9. A question I have asked many times, if they ( other countries) put out advisory on us , we can do the same on them .

  10. When will sh#thole countries like ours start issuing travel advisories for our citizens after the numerous terrorist attacks in the US, UK, France etc…?