Commissioner of Police Gary Griffith is again being called to answer for the zealous behaviour of his lawmen, after officers kicked down the door of an elderly Mason Hall couple during a drug search—only to realise they had gotten the wrong address.
So much for the accuracy of the TTPS’ GPS.
Worse, the home owner told TV6 that one officer went down on all fours and urinated in the middle of her living room. Incidentally, the officer was a police dog.
Was the police dog’s heavy-handed approach to his duties symptomatic of what some citizens complain is a new uncaring ethos by the TTPS to the citizenry?
Or is the door and living room floor of an elderly couple in Mason Hall now the sort of collateral damage that citizens are happy to put up with, if it means worrying the criminals?
And, crucially, if drugs are seized by the police and Super Gary—picture Ian Alleyne with a badge—is not there to pose with the spoils; is it still considered a successful raid?
Mr Live Wire called the Commissioner for comment and, unsurprisingly, he insisted that he is standing by his pissy police pooch.
GG: We are taking the country back one house at a time, I stand by my men and believe my police officers behaved appropriately in the circumstances.
Live Wire: Commissioner, your men broke into the wrong home and then your dog urinated on their floor…
GG: How would you know that it is the wrong house unless you kick down the door and go inside?
Live Wire: What?
GG: I know allyuh media people want the old days when those punks could sleep comfortably at night. But those days are over. We are coming for you.
Live Wire: Yes. But this was not the home of criminals. They were just…
GG: Sure. Everybody is always a good boy and tantee. How you know the old lady didn’t just smoke a wattie?
Live Wire: But how would anybody know that?
GG (broad grin): Exactly!
Live Wire: Ahmmm… Commissioner, do you know the saying ‘when you’re a hammer, every problem is a nail’?
GG: Of course. And I’m going to nail them!
Live Wire: What? No, that’s not what that means…
Live Wire invited citizens to share their views on the police intrusion and found that support for the TTPS remains at its highest level since Will Smith and Martin Lawrence played officers in Bad Boys.
Jason: So how we know they didn’t move the drugs just before the police came? I find they shoulda lock them up anyway!
Ravi: Is about time the police get pro-active. I’m fine with them kicking down other people’s doors, once it makes me feel safe.
Annika: Why dey door was closed? Something in that story not reading right nah. I hope the police keep a close eye on them.
Winston: Steups. Allyuh media people dotish yes. You ent see the old woman have a bandit face?
Stacey: The Commissioner could break into my house anytime!
Editor’s Note: This column is satirical and, although the police home invasion is genuine, the subsequent conversations are faked. No offence is meant at parties named; although they probably deserve it.