New evidence points to corrupt business practices by FIFA president Sepp Blatter, police pummel a black youth in the United States, Britney Spears has a wardrobe malfunction and UNC senator flashes underwear at public…
There is a certain inevitability to the news these days, isn’t it?
Mr Live Wire has been on “go slow” of late, partly because politicians have been doing such a wonderful and thorough job of lampooning themselves.
Opposition MP Suruj Rambachan wants the new Government’s help to fix the sign in his constituency office. Which might have been reasonable enough, if he was not Minister of Works for six months while it lay in disrepair.
The UNC Minister of Works could not fix his own constituency office? But then that makes sense when you look at the state of the country.
Although, to be fair to Suruj, he probably did not remember he had constituents at the time, let alone a constituency office.
Meanwhile, Opposition Leader Kamla Persad-Bissessar wants to know when the hospital that she opened will be finished. It might have been worse. She could have asked Colm Imbert to help her find her television remote or remind her whether she left her fridge open.
And “Gypsy?” The “Mayaro Mattress Boy?”
“We may have missed out a few flood victims,” the former Mayaro MP told the Trinidad Guardian, after the police chanced across hundreds of mattresses, cases of water, blankets and other supplies donated for flood victims at his home.
At least his son can hydrate himself and have a nap after doing whatever it is he does that brought the police to daddy’s house in the first place.
All Mr Live Wire would say on that is it might be that marijuana smokers prefer bottled water to potato crisps.
And that brings us to Mr Chippen-fail. Mr Not-Sexy-And-Doesn’t-Know-It.
The photograph, which will probably prompt more sleepless night than Nightmare on Elm Street, bore more than a passing resemblance to “honourable” UNC senator Wayne Sturge.
By which we mean it was crass, pointless, shallow and stomach-turning.
Was Scourge channelling his inner-Benjai and about to shoot a soca video? Was there a swimming pool in the other room?
Was he trying to distract a guest from his empty head? Was he creating a video CV for the Opposition Leader?
Let’s face it, Tanty Kamla could hold a recruitment drive at Copa Cabana on any given month’s end and come out with a less perverted bunch than her last Cabinet. And a saying about birds and feathers comes to mind.
Or, to put it another way, they probably give out “safe words” on UNC retreats.
Madame Kamla’s UNC is on a streak of five straight electoral defeats now and clearly still on the Wayne.
Mr Live Wire cannot confirm that Prime Minister Dr Keith Rowley saw the Facebook commotion and sent a text to Faris Al-Rawi. He might have gotten too excited because the message was a garbled string of meaningless letters.
“AG U C D UNC?! BWDMA! LMFAO!”