T&T has a new PM! Rowley takes over town; Kamla shuts down

Taxi for Kamla Persad-Bissessar!

Photo: Whaddap, cocoyea! A PNM supporter celebrates at Balisier House after the election results on September 7, 2015. (Courtesy Allan V Crane/Wired868)
Photo: Whaddap, cocoyea! A PNM supporter celebrates at Balisier House after the election results on September 7, 2015.
(Courtesy Allan V Crane/Wired868)

In the end, it transpired that Trinidad and Tobago was not the only thing that the UNC political leader had not been properly servicing.

After a less than gracious concession speech, the Siparia MP hopped into “PM1”, only for the vehicle to refuse to budge.

Who said God isn’t a satirist?

On September 7, Trinidad and Tobago’s electorate spoke loud and clear. And, after years of tap-up and bald jokes, voters chose to end decades of discrimination and elect its first follicularly-challenged Prime Minister, Dr Keith Rowley.

For the last four and a half months, Rowley was about as welcomed in Parliament as Yasin Abu Bakr, after Persad-Bissessar took exceptional exception to his parading emails allegedly written by herself and other Government officials.

Now, Dr Rowley will govern the tiny two island republic. He promised not to divide the country’s resources along yellow and red lines.

Photo: PNM political leader Dr Keith Rowley (centre) gives his victory speech at Balisier House flanked by his wife Sharon Rowley (right) and daughter Sonel. (Courtesy Allan V Crane/Wired868)
Photo: Bald is beautiful! PNM political leader Dr Keith Rowley (centre) gives his victory speech at Balisier House flanked by his wife Sharon Rowley (right) and daughter Sonel.
(Courtesy Allan V Crane/Wired868)

“While I come from the PNM, I am not the prime minister of the PNM,” said Rowley. “I am the prime minister of Trinidad and Tobago.”

Of course, Persad-Bissessar did not exactly promise to emasculate the police, pass laws for bandits and treat the treasury like her personal piggy bank in her 2010 victory speech either.

So Mr Live Wire will be keeping a close watch.

And what of the outgoing Prime Minister who simply could not handle the “Raging Bull?”

In her Siparia constituency office, Persad-Bissessar looked like someone who thought she was about to sip champagne, only to end up with a mouthful of black coffee—no sugar and no cream.

Her concession speech sounded as though it were written by South Park character Eric Cartman: Screw all of you, I’m going home!

And then, in a delicious piece of irony, the “PM1” refused to take Persad-Bissessar to Siparia and a supporter had to give her a lift home in a Cube instead.

Photo: Siparia?! What you was sipping, Tanty?!
Photo: Siparia?! What you was sipping, Tanty?!

So you mean “Kitt” has been moonlighting as PM1 all this time? And Roodal Moonilal couldn’t send a yellow-band maxi self for the lady so she could stretch her legs?

From soaring over voters in a helicopter, it must be quite a climbdown to be hopping a drop in an imitation Hummer. Live Wire cannot confirm that MC Hammer sent “Tanty Kamla” a sympathy card.

Persad-Bissessar has now lost ground at five successive elections: THA, Chaguanas West, Local Government, St Joseph and General Elections. She did not even bother to turn up at Rienzi Complex to speak to UNC colleagues and supporters last night.

Buh buh bye, Kamla! We need to breathe again.

Presumably, Moonilal is out this morning shopping for a long knife that would fit between the shoulder blades.

Of course, “Moonie” would have a hard time finding a spot that outgoing MP Jack Warner had not already molested.

“I wanted to get three seats, I got none, but I got Mrs Persad-Bissessar out,” said Warner. “I alone have taken down three prime ministers. That is my legacy to Trinidad and Tobago.”

Photo: ILP political leader, Chaguanas West MP and ex-FIFA vice president Jack Warner. (Copyright AFP 2015/Alva Viarruel)
Photo: ILP political leader, Chaguanas West MP and ex-FIFA vice president Jack Warner.
(Copyright AFP 2015/Alva Viarruel)

Mr Live Wire cannot confirm that Warner now has hip hop star “Big Sean” on repeat on his iPod: I don’t funk with you…

Forever the salesman, Warner declared a PNM victory to be a win for his ILP party. And, to be fair, more than a few PNM supporters have lauded Warner’s role as whistleblower—albeit history’s most shameless turncoat—ever since United States Attorney General Loretta Lynch sent him an invite for a US-based family reunion.

Ungratefulness, as they say, is worse than witchcraft. So Rowley cannot turn his back on the “Baron of Bobol” during his time of triumph.

Mr Live Wire has just the portfolio in mind.

Appoint Warner as Trinidad and Tobago’s next Ambassador to the United States!

More from Wired868
Missing the Faris for the trees? Mr Live Wire gets another political lecture from a mysterious man

(Scene: A dapper gentleman examines a humble lodging with notable admiration.) FAR: I love the more intimate office space, boss. Read more

Protesters push back against ‘little prick’; Live Wire alarmed as tension boils over at QPS

On the eve of the Government’s scheduled launch of its Public Sector and Public Service Vaccination programme, protesters, led by Read more

Live Wire sheds a tear as Minister of Hypocrisy uses time-travel to join Boxing Day boat party

24 December: The Ministry of Health urges citizens to ‘keep the festivities at home this year’ and ‘celebrate responsibly within Read more

Anyone for ‘Covid roulette’? Live Wire has an uncomfortable experience on Scoon’s ‘pleasure boat’

During the height of the Covid-19 pandemic and with Trinidad and Tobago recording an average of 23 deaths a day, Read more

Oh for f*ris sake! Live Wire underwhelmed as AG meets unions, plus Keithos loses ‘dictator membership’

Faris (pronounced far-risk) Verb: (1) to half-arse a task for the superficial benefit of being seen to do it. ‘When Read more

Live Wire Chronicles: Covid-19 measures vs Covid-19 plans, devilish Davlin, and forgetful Faris

Trinidad and Tobago’s Covid-19 vaccination drive will lose two days of implementation this week due to a rescheduling forced upon Read more

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

Check Also

Orin: The potential cost of UNC’s civil war

“[…] Ever since she ran in 2015 on a leader-centric election marketing campaign that sold …

68 comments

  1. Lmao….Funny as that….”World most shameless turncoat” and Warner the “whistleblower”. I am in stitches… Lmao

  2. nuff blessins ta Dr Keith C Rowley an de PNM victory ,, an bigg respect ta Mr Jack A Warner an de Full ILP clip,, who worked so hard ta ensure UNC’ get out of Power an nuff respect ta der PPL’ of Trinidad an Tobago who stood up an did der rite ting,, nuff blessins ta all

  3. Jamal, i suspect they wanted to go home early too

  4. she not accustomed driving in car he accustomed with helicopters and planes

  5. Think about it. The PM convoy is at least 3 vehicles always…everytime…everywhere..if PM1 shut down…there were easily at least 2 other vehicles.

  6. Bally comes to mind.. “The jeep break down… so ah jump in a maxi..”

  7. Word coming out is that the ‘breakdown’ of PM 1 is the kinder, more diplomatic version of events. Apparently when Special Branch got confirmation that Dr Rowley had indeed become the PM-elect, they downgraded the former PM’s security detail to match that of her newly-relegated status as erstwhile Opposition Leader and left to secure the PM-elect. The former PM, epitome of gracelessness to the bitter end, threw a hissy fit over the downgrade, going on to say that ‘they’ could keep ‘their’ stinking car. She then took a ride (presumably home) from a supporter.
    True colours shining through again – and not beautiful like a rainbow in the least.

  8. Lasana you had me cracking up as usual. Warner for United States Ambassador. LMAO!!

  9. Lasana, as usual biting insight! Love the portfolio for JW!!!!

  10. she throw the vodka in the gas tank

  11. ah doh mean to laugh eh but when i read dat about 1 PM 1 i jus had to laugh

  12. Glad for him; I think he can calm down now and start governing 🙂

  13. i admired Dr. Rowley’s victory speech and yes I think Kamla’s speech was lacking in class, but damn the lady vehicle shit down on her. I think that was sabotage when ppl heard she not going to Rienzi complex, and I think she should have, tbh, because you and your party made this elections about YOU-Kamlas plan, Kamla’s emails, phone calls, interruption of you-tube videos etc and then when you lost, you were like “bleep this I going home” this lady epitomises the meaning of the word “classless” and the phrase “bleep protocol” and I think it will come back to haunt her. But at the end of the day Machel Montano is still Minister of Road and that is all that really matters ? right Lassana?

  14. First time writing something but definitely not the first time reading.
    I really laughed at the part where Kams got a lift in a CUBE! I mean what an act of fate! That’s Karma! While I’m happy with the results, I hope and pray the cyber racism will stop! Some of the PP supporters are taking it too far and have forgotten that it was PNM supporters from the East West corridor and Tobago that gave them a good number of seats in 2010!

  15. Someone said that post will come with diplomatic immunity. Not this time… But let’s have Warner think that it does. 😉

  16. Lasana, you just couldn’t wait for the Age of the Baldheads to begin, could you? I could hear the satisfaction.

  17. Lasana seriously ah Cube, ah Cube, you kidding me? It was all rather shambolic in the end. I thought Keith Rowley’s address was exactly what was needed, a true statesman. The former PM on the other hand, couldn’t even bring herself to say his name. South Park’s Eric Cartman is apt. It certainly wasn’t the first time during her tenure that she showed little tact and diplomacy, thankfully it’ll be the last!

  18. Lasana

    I pray to God, that you do not go into sleepy, “let the PNM steal whatever they want” mode ……

  19. Despite the corruption of the PP/UNC …

    more than 1/2 the population (yes the majority) , are afraid of the PNM and are scared of the PNM’s history of corruption and discrimination ..
    As a result more than 1/2 the country voted , not for the PP, but against the PNM ..

    I hope Dr. Rowley quells those fears …..

    FYI — we are seeing many racist comments from the UNC Indian supporters …
    I am also seeing racist comments from PNM people. And they (as usual) claim they are not racist..
    the comment : ” Indians have nothing to fear from the PNM” …
    Or : ” the PNM give allyuh free education”
    are a bloody racist comments …
    because
    The shameful truth is, Indians do have a VERY JUST fear of the PNM ….

  20. Hahahaha…next Ambassador to the US.
    That position should afford him diplomatic immunity.

  21. Ah can’t stop laughing. Lordie Dordie!!

  22. “Appoint Warner as Trinidad and Tobago’s next Ambassador to the United States!” – Ok, that one had me LOLing…

  23. Gees Lasana, what kinda ting is this? “Of course, “Moonie” would have a hard time finding a spot that outgoing MP Jack Warner had not already molested.”

  24. Idk, Mel Lissa. Thought it was a problem. But I stand by the original statement. Ha!

  25. ? sorry! Sometimes the naughty just comes out. Let me know if to delete.

  26. So you telling me that no one in the partnership could have picked her up or send a driver for her? and where was her security detail? Where was the 400mill man?

  27. ok Chabeth..I had to let that one soak a bit eh
    🙂

  28. Naughty Chabeth. Tres naughty. Lol

  29. Maybe she’s better at being serviced than servicing things? Who knows? Either way… sober times ahead!

  30. ” in a Cube?”
    Nah man
    lolololol

  31. *Screw YOU GUYS, I’m going home :p

  32. i admired Dr. Rowley’s victory speech and yes I think Kamla’s speech was lacking in class, but damn the lady vehicle shit down on her. I think that was sabotage when ppl heard she not going to Rienzi complex, and I think she should have, tbh, because you and your party made this elections about YOU-Kamlas plan, Kamla’s emails, phone calls, interruption of you-tube videos etc and then when you lost, you were like “bleep this I going home” this lady epitomises the meaning of the word “classless” and the phrase “bleep protocol” and I think it will come back to haunt her. But at the end of the day Machel Montano is still Minister of Road and that is all that really matters 😉 right Lassana?

  33. Lasana Liburd yuh ent easy. I ain’t have time to read the article yet but ah buss out laughing at the title!!!

  34. We ent talking half-bald here partners… We’re talking full moon! Lol

  35. If memory serves..both Eric Williams and George Chambers had follicular challenges.. maybe to a lesser extent..

  36. I write this knowing that it might be gone in seconds. But, I still write. Jack’s legacy is that he “by himself took down three Prime Ministers”. The truth is, he is correct. Single-handed, maybe a little too far, but indeed, he was the engineer of the falls of Patrick Manning, Basdeo Panday, and now, Kamla. Jack’s style is very forceful and strong, including doing all that it needs to make it happen. Machiavelli and Thomas Hobbes would be proud of the hard-core follower-protégé that they see in Austin Jack Warner or, Jaw, as he has come to be known. The well-known, “yesterday is yesterday, and today is today” strategist, JAW shall do what it takes to get the job done. His rule, flap, fly, soar, and hunt. His style, hunt or be hunted – today’s culture. He is a survivor and beats you if it means, beating you. The once, extremely soft side of Jack, has given way to the sharks and JAWS’ eating ways of the world. In the end, give Jack his Jacket, Jim, his gym-boots, and now, Keith, his tune to beat. As for Kamla, her,……….. would somebody finish this rhyme? As for Brent “BS” Sancho, no Grande, and, no Toco! I uphold that Dr. Rowley will stand tall, and the son of an alleged “rape case”, will now have his deserved chance to prove his true worth as a most stalwart Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister. All of his close and not–so-close naysayers have now only to sit back and “enjoy”. Keith will deliver and will realign T&T to the standards that all of its citizens, regardless of color, race, economic standing, or physical station, will find that place where all can learn to unlearn their negative ways and learn to adhere to those that provide a better place for our youth and future generations. Dr. Keith Rowley is our, today’s consummate fiduciary. Best wishes Keith, congrats, Sharon!

    • I strongly disagree with this, maybe Panday and Manning but JW made no difference in this election whatsoever tbh

      • In some way you are right Clem. But, Jaw was a thorn in her side when she had to sever ties with her once, ciant-do-wrong, main-man, funding expert, adviser, and Deputy Political Leader. Since his sidelining she has made many stumbles because of her acquired knowledge of JAW’s “strengths”. She saw it firsthand and her close-up from her relationship with JAW who led the charge in the PPP’s 2010 victory. She, being the side-kick architect that upstaged and unseated Bas for the Party’s leadership, understands JAW’s strategic capabilities and that set her in fear mode. She began to further feel his wrath when JAW added to her woes his threat to use privately gathered files and unleashed a host of other telling revelations. She was soon to find out that without JAW, she could not mastermind a repeat of the 2010 run and re-copycatting of Obama’s young people appeal and dancing campaign. Thence, Clemz, she has to be added to the “scalped” list.

  37. Boom! The world mash up!
    You know things are bad with you when your own vehicle decides against going further with you …
    As for Siparia Swag Queen’s most crass and classless concession speech, perhaps it shows the nation the true colours of the lady that used to be our Prime Minister – and they aren’t beautiful like a rainbow at all.
    As I’ve told some of my colleagues, T&T has for once voted in the government it really needs. It is now up to us as citizens to ensure that this government does right and does right by us. I too will be pulling up a chair next to Mr. LiveWire in the observation deck.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.