Tendering gone awry, DJ Loose Lips plus promotion for Johnny-Gun-Lately

Stacy Roopnarine, a UNC MP, does not care much for Minister of Works Suruj Rambachan’s tendering; but, apparently, she can be much tenderer where National Security Minister Gary Griffith is concerned.

Griffith, incidentally, is a man of no fixed party although, for now, the part-time hobo is back at home with his wife and COP chairman Nicole Dyer-Griffith.

“Good sense has prevailed,” Griffith told Trinidad Express reporter Anika Gumbs. “All marriages have issues. I have reconciled with my wife and I am once again a happily married man.”

Photo: National Security Minister Gary Griffith. (Courtesy Ministry of National Security)
Photo: National Security Minister Gary Griffith.
(Courtesy Ministry of National Security)

Two things come to Mr Live Wire’s mind.

One, the UNC is not easing up on its unstated mission of defiling everything the COP holds dear.

Two, the People’s Partnership has apparently run out of citizens to screw; and they are turning on each other now.

Meanwhile, a video of a woman resembling the wife of ex-Sport Minister Anil Roberts offering hot food to a young man who definitely does not resemble her husband is a runaway hit on the social media.

Former ace Parliament reporter turned Trinidad Guardian editor-in-chief Judy Raymond once aptly described Roberts as “the first-time visitor who helps himself to beers from the fridge and puts his feet on the couch.”

Isn’t karma something? A young, dreadlocked DJ certainly seems to know his way around Roberts’ kitchen at the moment. And, like the uncouth former COP MP, the kid isn’t bashful.

Is Kamla Persad-Bissessar running a Cabinet or the set for “Love and Hip Hop?”

Beyond the speculation about which tenders Roopnarine approves of, disapproves of or sends back to their wives and whether Roberts’ personal kitchen has a drive-through window; lies a more important story that may gather steam in weeks to come.

In an interview with Express reporter Denyse Renne, Griffith suggested, through ‘sources’ and otherwise, that he recommended acting Superintendent Johnny Abraham for the post of Police Commissioner but was rebuffed by the Police Service Commission (PSC). A silly little thing called ‘the law’ got in the way.

As we probably know by now, the law never troubles the PP for long.

Either Tantee Kamla is not convinced by Abraham’s CV just yet; or Griffith is using the media to gauge public opinion before a later move. Or, I suppose, the PP just wants the public to think it wants Abraham; in the way it pretends to be dead-set on hanging the criminals who the police never catch and the courts never convict.

Photo: Trinidad and Tobago police on the move. (Courtesy Heritage Radio)
Photo: Trinidad and Tobago police on the move.
(Courtesy Heritage Radio)

So who is this Johnny-gun-lately that Griffith wants to be his party’s poster boy for its mythical war on crime in the build-up to the next general election?

Let us just say that for young men between the ages of 16 to 40 from Chaguanas, ‘death by natural causes’ might mean a bullet in the head from Abraham and his not-so-merry men.

They don’t need the death penalty in that borough. Perhaps the part about trying to find out if the accused fellahs were actually guilty is considered too tedious. Due process, apparently, is for rich folk or connected people like Rajaee Ali; not the peewats in Chaguanas who would rather hear a doctor say “Ebola” than a gunman shout “police.”

To put it another way, if Abraham was a white US officer then any one of his extrajudicial weekend slayings of poor, young black men would be a global scandal; and Trinis would be cursing his name on Facebook.

But since Abraham happens to be black and a Trini, he is the best thing since Jack Warner—maybe even better—and Griffith thinks he should be the Commissioner of Police rather than explaining his policing methods to a High Court Judge.

Griffith talks nonsense every other week about weeding out “criminal cockroaches.” But nobody really takes the Minister with no party or fixed place of abode seriously these days.

Will he really try to promote Abraham though? Can’t he just goof off and tender more Cabinet colleagues for another few months?

You know things are bad when Ministers screwing around on the job is actually the best case scenario.

And what about DJ Lurbz, who supposedly became the target of a hit after ad-libbing through his grace before meals?

Photo: Ex-Sport Minister Anil Roberts (left) woos Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar. Roberts is the talk of a new sex video. Only he is not starring in this one.
Photo: Ex-Sport Minister Anil Roberts (left) woos Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar.
Roberts is the talk of a new sex video. Only he is not starring in this one.

In the words of the fictional character, Tuco Ramirez, during that immortal scene in “The Good, The Bad, The Ugly”:

“When you have to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk!”

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  1. My question would be….why they (the higher-ups in the police service) all sound illiterate and uneducated? You are in a position of authority, even if you are ineffectual at your job at least sound as though you know what you’re talking about and not like some dunce who never made it past standard two.

  2. “The People’s Partnership has apparently run out of citizens to screw; and they are turning on each other now.” Aye watch na..this line win yuh know!! I want to dead here.lololololololol

  3. dat is ting for Minister Two Pull to say..”wwwwaaaaaatttttttttttt????

  4. I truly believe that we suffer from a national inferiority complex and low self esteem. We hate how things are run. We hate ourselves for not figuring out how to fix it. We hate ourselves for laughing and partying in the face of everything. We have very little compassion for ourselves

  5. We don’t demand or expect from our institutions what we seem to demand and expect from their foreign counterparts Fayola.

    The reason why foreign institutions work so well isn’t because of the structure of those institutions as much as it’s what the people who those institutions are meant to serve expect.

    Our expectations in our government, institutions and fellow citizens are so woefully low that we cannot help but be substandard.

  6. Vernal Damion Cadogan I don’t know if we’re phony so much as we have zero trust in our institutions, but expect better of foreign countries.

  7. And in Chaguanas forget about it. So fond are they of these police killings that the business community there actually recently honored Abraham.

  8. I actually was not surprised by Griffiths recommendation of Abraham for the Top Cop position, particularly given Trinidadians fondness for extrajudicial killings by police.

  9. Like I said, maybe the Govt would think differently if Johnny was gunning down allegedly corrupt businessmen and politicians

  10. Lasana, I want to be your tailor, oui. Cuz I seein’ court clothes fuh days. Ha!

  11. Vernal, i share your hurt but the thing is this crap happens here all the time and like someone said before misguided Trinis applaud when this takes place here not recognizing that one day one of us may innocently pass in the rush. That’s life in sweet TnT.

  12. You know that has been a pet peeve of mine for years.
    Sometimes I wonder if Trinidadians listen to themselves.

  13. I especially liked the part about Johnny Abraham and his much celebrated extrajudicial kill squad there in Central that Trinidadians love so much while condemning extrajudicial killings by American police.

  14. Lasana, where/how do you think up these lines? Vernal said it all…yeah

  15. This might be my favorite piece of your’s to date Lasana Liburd, but then I say that every time.

  16. Lol that seems like a legit question Fayola..

  17. Is that your loss or DJ Lurbz’s Fayola Bostic? Lol.

  18. Isn’t she like 22 or something? I am eternally grateful that my 20s happened in the absence of social media.

  19. When you want to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk. Always good advice. In Hollywood westerns and in real life apparently..

  20. The woman is who I feel sorry for. You have a loud and stupid former minister as a husband and a loud and stupid DJ as the Horner man. Tragic..

  21. at least from the video we now know anil got horned and it wasn’t a case of the dj being with the young lady b4 Anil, but that karma though, wow I mean you could only imagine what’s going on wih Anil and his young wife right now, i really couldn’t believe what i watched last night. The man with the biggest mouth aparently got the biggest horn, let him take 2 pull of that and chill out now, lol

  22. Not even David De Gea could save Minister Two Pull from karma!

  23. For any of our younger readers who didn’t get the ending: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvSZ_HQmZgQ

  24. Johnny Gun Lately need to stop his insaitable appetite for political Cronies. Young or old Johnny Gun Lately “drinkin anything” Lol!

  25. I hope nothing else from Lurbz pops up. He’s done ever popping up for his lifetime where Two Pull’s wife is concerned…

  26. And let’s not forget Johnny-Gun-Lately eh?! Maybe he needs to gun down a few allegedly corrupt contractors before the Gov’t disapproves. :-/

  27. Cyah! Cyah! Cyah! Cyah! Oh lawd Lasana meh belly hutting meh with dis one. I so needed a good laugh and you provided as usual. Ah good til Tuesday now!! LMAO!!!

  28. And if you are a real criminal,use duct tape.

  29. And 101 for Wanna-be Outlaws: Don’t videotape your crimes…

  30. There are two patwa sayings that come to mind…the early cow drinks the clear water and drink everything, eat everything but don’t say everything.

  31. Lasana Liburd we can’t complain, you’ve spoilt us whole year. Next year is elections, we know it will be worth the wait. Lol

  32. Mama said: Don’t talk with your mouth full… Some kids these days just don’t see the wisdom of the elders.

  33. Thanks… So that is it until the New Year eh! Lol. I doubt I will do more than one this season.

  34. Thanks so much for the Sunday night laugh. Great piece, as usual.

  35. ROFL before I even read it those captions alone hahahaha .. Lasana!!!!!!

  36. As usual real jones but yea Johny is a case by himself oui, and I really appreciate how you paralled him against white officers in the USA, job well done, satire mixed with facts

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