Home / Live Wire / The Opposition discusses Rowley’s 69, P*****p and Farsebook

The Opposition discusses Rowley’s 69, P*****p and Farsebook

Scene: Office of the Opposition Leader at Balisier House.

(PNM political leader Keith Rowley walks in to find Opposition Senators Faris Al-Rawi and Fitzgerald Hinds already seated).

Opposition Leader: Yes. What can I help you all with?

Faris Al-Rawi: It is a splendid day, Opposition Leader. I said so myself on the drive here and everyone I met agreed. Mr Hinds and myself were just discussing it. Do you not think so yourself, Opposition Leader?

Fitzgerald Hinds: Yes boss. Today is pretty nice, eh?

Opposition Leader: Who I look like? Alicia Boucher?! This isn’t the meteorological office. I have work to do fellahs and I would like to think you do too!

Photo: Opposition Leader Keith Rowley. (Courtesy Jyoti Communication)
Photo: Opposition Leader Keith Rowley.
(Courtesy Jyoti Communication)

(Rowley glares across the table while Hinds looks at his shoe and Al-Rawi glances nervously towards the door).

Al-Rawi: Well… There was moreover another subject that we had hoped to confer with you. It is a matter of some sensitivity but Mr Hinds thought…

Hinds: Eh eh. That’s not true! Boss, you know I don’t like to think too much. I just came because Faris fraid to come into your office by himself.

(Rowley rolls his eyes).

Al-Rawi: Anyway, Sir. It is about an event in Tobago…

Opposition Leader: The Goat Race? (Rowley’s eyes narrow). Listen Faris, Trinidad and Tobago cannot handle another AG with any bizarre pre-occupations, eh?! So what is your interest in the Goat Race? And don’t leave anything out.

Al-Rawi: Opposition Leader, it is not about the Goat Race… I know this is a personal matter. But, all over the social media, the populace is conversing with regards to what you might or might not have done in 69…

Opposition Leader: You want to hear my thoughts on 69? (He moves closer to Al-Rawi). Would you like my wife’s number, Faris?

Hinds: Heh heh, no boss. He didn’t mean that. He just meant that thing Anil Roberts mentioned. People talking again and we were wondering…

Opposition Leader: P*****p and his eight different Facebook profiles are people? I think all nine of them together doesn’t even make one whole person. This is why you in my office, Faris? To talk about that P*****p?!

Photo: Internet trolling 101.
Photo: Internet trolling 101.

Al-Rawi: (Clears his throat) Opposition Leader, it would be remiss of me to pay no heed to a probable menace on your disposition and the standing of the party; even if the hazard is yet only formative in its nature.

(Rowley glares at Al-Rawi).

Hinds: Boss, he means that maybe we should deal with this mauvaise langue thing before it gets out of hand.

Opposition Leader: You mean to tell me that right now Besson Street resembling the Gaza Strip, a prominent, internationally-recognised activist is starving outside the Prime Minister’s office, the Prime Minister has put local Catholics up to international ridicule for the discrimination of gays after years of alienating Muslims, the PP Government is co-sponsoring a war on ISIS after they beheaded two Americans but yet to say ‘boo’ when dozens of young local citizens are shot dead in the street by police without a trial to determine their guilt or innocence, the Government molest the Children’s Fund because apparently it as empty as the space between Fuad’s ears… You mean to tell me that all that going on and you come here to ask me about what P*****p and his multiple-personalities doing on Facebook?!

Al-Rawi: Ahmm…

Opposition Leader: So everytime a Minister gets caught taking drugs or P*****p gets his tail cut from a senior citizen, I have to answer ridiculous questions about my personal life? Why you don’t go and ask Roodal or Chandresh about outside children if allyuh want some child maintenance cases? Why you don’t ask Gary Griffith and Stacy about 69?! There are plenty people in Parliament who could do with marriage counselling. I am not one of them. Understood?

Al-Rawi: (Gulps). Mr Opposition Leader, on reflection I believe you have more than adequately responded to the spurious claims that I never for one millisecond believed to be any more than the work of desperate, deranged minds.

(Al-Rawi gets up and heads to the door with Hinds following closely behind. Hinds stops at the door).

Hinds: Boss, I am not sure if you answered us. Did you? I mean apparently the boy and your wife are friends on Facebook as well as…

Opposition Leader: Mr Hinds, are you vetting me based on my wife’s Facebook friends?

Hinds: No boss.

Opposition Leader: If you ever waste my time with any nonsense from that schizophrenic clown named P*****p, you will have nothing else to do with your time but go on Facebook.

Hinds: (Gulps) Yes, Opposition Leader.

 

Editor’s Note: This column is pure satire and all conversations are faked. No offence is meant at parties named; although they probably deserve it.

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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109 comments

  1. Lol lol. I knew that was an option, but the name meant nothing to me.

  2. Lol. Natty – still clueless, but will figure it out eventually:-)

  3. “Opposition Leader: So everytime a Minister gets caught taking drugs or P*****p gets his tail cut from a senior citizen, I have to answer ridiculous questions about my personal life?”
    – LOL

  4. I ent know,nah,but I cannot look at a curry goat roti in the same way again.

  5. lol! who needs Lifetime when there are comments like these on Wired lol. But don’t forget the handle PEA the PDT, Political Dustbin Terrier.

  6. Marisa Foster..it’s here already

  7. I’m ah lil bit slow today – who is P*****p? Lol.

  8. We are inclined to think that everything that happens is to be turned into useful teaching. In actual fact, it is to be turned into something even better than teaching, namely, character.

  9. Mr Lasana Liburd, go to the head of the class, you are right, the only reason this CONMAN POLITICAL DUSTBIN TERRIER, tried to stir up this bacchanal is because he wants to change the conversation that a pensioner break he waist, and there is NO CHANCE, (like there ever was) he will run for DM or anywhere else on a COP or UNC ticket, and that is the motive of the fb PEEPING TOM.

  10. soooo uhmm you all think he’s still going up for Diego West?

  11. If the he of whom we speak is fictitious, how can he come forward, lol. As I said before the objective is character assassination and to stimulate debate on a topic that does not even have a basis or genesis. Rodney Charles , PEA etc has thus been successful on that account.

  12. Phillip grasping at straws! He cutass still booked in Diego West

  13. If there was a woman making an accusation and a ‘child’ involved then fine! The woman said nothing so far

  14. It’s just rubbish…total rubbish!

  15. Well if the allegations are proven to be untrue the accusers would look very foolish IMO.

  16. It’s not a true story. Whether this story involved the PM, the AG or OL, it’s not a true story. Anil and PEA playing d ass

  17. More than 40 yrs has passed..if he didn’t want to do a test before why should he do one now?

  18. But Kern the goat didn’t come forward to the allegation. There were just too much evidence from language to clothing on Anil to know it was him. Come on now!!

  19. The individual is an adult..he has no reason to come forward and do any test etc.UNLESS he so desires

  20. This whole thing is just a diversion from the cut tail he got the other day.
    Nothing more, nothing less.

  21. For closure on this allegation. I suspect that no such person exists, and this is just an exercise of politics to discredit the opposition leader. But just as the Anil video where no one even suggested the idea of forensic analysis to determine its authenticity , because they knew that all doubts would have been removed, and two pulls would have had no defense. In this case they will talk and talk and not attempt to justify their allegations, because this suits their objective.

  22. I have to shake the man hand. He know who does be bussin up old pampers and ole pad on facebook so he make sure to use other communication to link de scene, but end up rackin up100 mil in phone calls. Uncle Keithos smart too when he ask bout it normal normal! Dem fellas waay out ah my league boy.

  23. Child or man/woman, paternity tests still apply. Let this individual come forward , if he/she exists , to be tested.

  24. What ‘child’ Kern? The person will be in his 40 ties all now! He could do his own investigation if he so desires!

  25. It is also alleged that the one pushing the story, who wants to run for Dr.Rowley’s seat, abandoned a child as well..
    so

  26. I see the PEAbrained one has objective of propaganda and character assassination. If Eversly and PEAbrain is aware of this child, there is something known as paternity and DNA testing. Instead of propaganda, bring forth the child and lets get scientific evidence. By the way, how is the campaign against Manning with his so called love child going.

  27. It is the rumours that affect the performance of ministers that concern me. Little else.

  28. But David, people from all walks of life dropping hints that your beloved PM is a drunk too. So….uhmm it’s just rumors ent?

  29. David CB Smith, when Ramesh or Jack say they catch the AG love up with ah goat, the AG come and deny it? You think holding a big office yuh have time to address who or what you sleep with? The same Wendell who buss way p****p backside you talking about, all ah them is eat ah food, Rowley is their target, and for that very reason he MUST NEVER dignify their filth with a response, and on that note ah not even going to give any more time to that rumour from that shit monger dustbin terrier, if Rowley wife or somebody of relevance had a complaint then I would be interested, but for now we know the dustbin terrier will do anything for a dollar, including spread he cheeks. Talk done.

  30. All I know is that Wendell Eversley and the rest of the 91.1 FM radio crew but more so Eversley have been dropping hints of the allegation about Rowley fathering some child by a minor student while he was a teacher in Tobago for a while now and Rowley has not denied it. If true I believe it could have a negative impact on Rowley’s character, all things considered. They’ve been hinting or outright saying they were or are going to drop the bombshell.

    Now I don’t know if it’s true or not as they are just allegations for the while IMO until some evidentiary material to confirm or deny is forthcoming.

  31. I don’t know eh, but let me put this out there. If my husband a public figure has an ‘outside’ child right, who he does not acknowledge on any forum, not even his bio, why the neck myself and my 2 daughters be on said outside child’s fb page? It was said on video, so I asking!!

    So if me as the wife who suppose to be blasted vex that this young man and our eldest child could be around the same age eh care, who d flick is allyuh? What allyuh need to know? He could be ah cousin or d nephew??

    Again, ah just asking!!

  32. The alleged ‘child’ must be 40 by now..I didn’t see him asking any questions

  33. David CB Smith, you must be the only man in T&T who will give that dustbin terrier conman any kind of relevance.

  34. David CB Smith, that piece ah bacchanal talk come from a bacchanal man, who does peep on facebook and jump to his own conclusions, you really think an important man like Keith Rowley have time to answer a little sissy who no body has any respect for? Dr Rowley has to see about stopping the theft of billions and billions of our tax dollars and put it to good use, bandits having a time with this government in power who to busy fulling they pocket to study us, is the conman he go take time to answer. Come nah man David, ah know you eh too bright, but you not that dotish.

  35. I give Dr. Rowley full marks for not responding to that a$$

  36. You never know eh?
    Unless the allegation is categorically denied and proven to be untrue.

  37. All public figures lives should be scrutinized yes..but an allegation by pea?

  38. How come some public figures’ personal lives is a problem or issue for some but other public figures personal lives are not a problem? Just asking. Isn’t it a bit contrary?

  39. I see no good reason why Dr. Rowley [or anybody else] should respond to P*****p

  40. When Rowley coughs, I don’t catch a cold. His personal life isn’t my problem.
    I do think the relevance of what might have happened before T&T was even a republic is doubtful though.
    And if there was a smoking gun from his time as a teacher, Patrick Manning (whose wife was Education Minister) would probably have found it.

  41. I not on facebook, would somebody kindly explain what is 69 to me plz. I didn’t look at the news tonight and don’t have a clue what is happening here. Did grif tell baby kamla she ‘goin down’ cuz de ‘service’ station/s cyar pay for his ‘protection’ and the only way anybody could ketch he ‘goin down’ is if he gets free fuel for the ‘cock’ roach squashing armoured vehicles? Someone plz bring me up to speed on this too. It sounds like too much lacaray.

  42. Ah…..didn’t know that the perpetrators of the Besson St. incident were found. Or is an above comment assuming their identity. Could be other police for all we know.