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Scene: Office of the Opposition Leader at Balisier House.
(PNM political leader Keith Rowley walks in to find Opposition Senators Faris Al-Rawi and Fitzgerald Hinds already seated).
Opposition Leader: Yes. What can I help you all with?
Faris Al-Rawi: It is a splendid day, Opposition Leader. I said so myself on the drive here and everyone I met agreed. Mr Hinds and myself were just discussing it. Do you not think so yourself, Opposition Leader?
Fitzgerald Hinds: Yes boss. Today is pretty nice, eh?
Opposition Leader: Who I look like? Alicia Boucher?! This isn’t the meteorological office. I have work to do fellahs and I would like to think you do too!
(Courtesy Jyoti Communication)
(Rowley glares across the table while Hinds looks at his shoe and Al-Rawi glances nervously towards the door).
Al-Rawi: Well… There was moreover another subject that we had hoped to confer with you. It is a matter of some sensitivity but Mr Hinds thought…
Hinds: Eh eh. That’s not true! Boss, you know I don’t like to think too much. I just came because Faris fraid to come into your office by himself.
(Rowley rolls his eyes).
Al-Rawi: Anyway, Sir. It is about an event in Tobago…
Opposition Leader: The Goat Race? (Rowley’s eyes narrow). Listen Faris, Trinidad and Tobago cannot handle another AG with any bizarre pre-occupations, eh?! So what is your interest in the Goat Race? And don’t leave anything out.
Al-Rawi: Opposition Leader, it is not about the Goat Race… I know this is a personal matter. But, all over the social media, the populace is conversing with regards to what you might or might not have done in 69…
Opposition Leader: You want to hear my thoughts on 69? (He moves closer to Al-Rawi). Would you like my wife’s number, Faris?
Hinds: Heh heh, no boss. He didn’t mean that. He just meant that thing Anil Roberts mentioned. People talking again and we were wondering…
Opposition Leader: P*****p and his eight different Facebook profiles are people? I think all nine of them together doesn’t even make one whole person. This is why you in my office, Faris? To talk about that P*****p?!
Al-Rawi: (Clears his throat) Opposition Leader, it would be remiss of me to pay no heed to a probable menace on your disposition and the standing of the party; even if the hazard is yet only formative in its nature.
(Rowley glares at Al-Rawi).
Hinds: Boss, he means that maybe we should deal with this mauvaise langue thing before it gets out of hand.
Opposition Leader: You mean to tell me that right now Besson Street resembling the Gaza Strip, a prominent, internationally-recognised activist is starving outside the Prime Minister’s office, the Prime Minister has put local Catholics up to international ridicule for the discrimination of gays after years of alienating Muslims, the PP Government is co-sponsoring a war on ISIS after they beheaded two Americans but yet to say ‘boo’ when dozens of young local citizens are shot dead in the street by police without a trial to determine their guilt or innocence, the Government molest the Children’s Fund because apparently it as empty as the space between Fuad’s ears… You mean to tell me that all that going on and you come here to ask me about what P*****p and his multiple-personalities doing on Facebook?!
Al-Rawi: Ahmm…
Opposition Leader: So everytime a Minister gets caught taking drugs or P*****p gets his tail cut from a senior citizen, I have to answer ridiculous questions about my personal life? Why you don’t go and ask Roodal or Chandresh about outside children if allyuh want some child maintenance cases? Why you don’t ask Gary Griffith and Stacy about 69?! There are plenty people in Parliament who could do with marriage counselling. I am not one of them. Understood?
Al-Rawi: (Gulps). Mr Opposition Leader, on reflection I believe you have more than adequately responded to the spurious claims that I never for one millisecond believed to be any more than the work of desperate, deranged minds.
(Al-Rawi gets up and heads to the door with Hinds following closely behind. Hinds stops at the door).
Hinds: Boss, I am not sure if you answered us. Did you? I mean apparently the boy and your wife are friends on Facebook as well as…
Opposition Leader: Mr Hinds, are you vetting me based on my wife’s Facebook friends?
Hinds: No boss.
Opposition Leader: If you ever waste my time with any nonsense from that schizophrenic clown named P*****p, you will have nothing else to do with your time but go on Facebook.
Hinds: (Gulps) Yes, Opposition Leader.
Editor’s Note: This column is pure satire and all conversations are faked. No offence is meant at parties named; although they probably deserve it.
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I don’t carry news to anybody bro. Don’t have time for such shenanigans.
Loving the comments, glad to see a fitting name has been attached to this hateful ‘man’, ‘POLITICAL DUSTBIN TERRIER’, Trini Smalls, I see you are keeping up man. PEA the PDT. lol
Gosh I’m behind on some ‘tories’
The lovely young minister?
Gary and Stacy? Who Stacy? Never heard this one
If Vernal Damion Cadogan did block this I was going on a hunger strike. I bawl from start to finish, oui.
You joking right?
Who needs to answer David CB? Dr. Rowley?
Im so lost its not funny…*bows head in shame*
David CB, bro, you doh have to bother to carry no news to p****p inno, remember is day and night, night and day, he peeping on fb and coming up with who father who, or who leave they goat for a horse and ting, save yuh energy hoss.
LOL!!! Hilarious, so Stones making in this whole thing too #DED
I think Prakash Ramadhar, Carolyn Seepersad Bachan. Khadijah Ameen, should warn there peeps to be on the look out and also for the big buss that coming with p*****p talking about how much kick back the UNC big boys demanding, I think is 60% kickback he said they did demand from him. Brian G Stone, that’s true, he say you weren’t asking for 60, you give ah 10% discount and taking 50%.
Well, we better join d list, he talk enough about a few of us all over d place
He’ll need to answer sooner or later I imagine.
Not looking too good not denying the allegation.
Plenty people suing p*****p the swindler now and in the near future, no wonder he prostituting from party to party and getting kicked in the behind, is money he have to pay people, gullible people should be on the look out for more smart man hustles coming from him soon.
So Trini, gimme the whole low down nah, who suing p*****p now?
P*****p is a well known domestic abuser and con artist, hence the reason the COP and UNC have distanced themselves from this political prostitute, he is a confusionist, his bad karma will follow him wherever he goes. He is a total and complete disgrace.
It is more than 8!
If the Gov’tt was paying me..I wouldn’t look for wuk either..
[sarcasm]
Mr Lasana Liburd, I think is more than 8 fake profile eh, remember is night and day this MACCO MAN, POLITICAL DUSTBIN TERRIER on fb, and now COP and UNC ent even want that ‘service’ from the MACCO MAN.
Ms Mel Sylvester, good question where the people money for the charity gone, where the food for the starving children in Somalia gone? Instead ah robbing people trying all kind of smart man tactics, and peeping on facebook at people profile, why the MACCO MAN doh try to get a wuk, a legal one.
“Opposition Leader: P*****p and his eight different Facebook profiles are people? I think all nine of them together doesn’t even make one whole person. This is why you in my office, Faris? To talk about that P*****p?!”
Ah spit out meh food here yes! Wicked sense of humour!
Where’s the tax payers money he collected? It done?
Raise funds Trini Smalls? Well yes
LMAO!!! Quite brilliant-)
Thanks for this bit of humour – love it.
Breathe Kai breathe
Well hear nah … Allyuh out to kill mih t’day
Mr Lasana Liburd, the thing is that small time conman is ah NOBODY, he does spend whole day maccoing people business on fb, the man is a waste of air and space, the only thing he good for is to bully women, defraud gullible people, and slander people, I understand he trying to raise some funds now for some defamation cases he has to answer. That is why Wendell Eversley had to drop some hard hand on the mad clown.
Live Wire made out Fuad long time 🙂
Eh heh???
lol..they could have paid me to do the poll
ROFL … “As empty as the space between Fuad’s ears” *flat lines* … Lmaoooo
I just read a survey that suggested the same Mel.
They right on par with Olivia Pope’s ‘Scandal’
Listen nah Vernal the UNC isn’t only about corruption inno
I’m just making sure the disclaimer is still valid! LOL
Ahmm… Sure. If you say so. Lol. But Mr Live Wire has good eyesight. 😉
If you so desire Vernal
We still speaking satirically right?
you forgot out the part where the PNM leader refuses and thinks it insignificant to comment or condemn the attacks on the police station by bandits or that fact that trinis were id in ISIS operations and yet this same INCOMPETENT LEADER saying we shouldn’t get involved or HOW ABT MAKING A SATIRE ARTICLE based on ROWLEYGATE THE FABRICATOR……..that should be hilarious
The Acting Police Commissioner said on the news that there were no reports of damage to the building. I hope that you are not suggesting otherwise. if you have that type of information to share, then please let us know why the Commissioner is still acting and other people getting bigger wuk with false papers!
lol
Hahaha! You better take out insurance from policemen in balaclavas after that one Mel Sylvester!
People asking why Gary buying up armored vehicles…they didn’t know was to save him from Stacey husband
Pressed and ready to go! 🙂
Lasana, you have court clothes?
DED!
“Ask Gary Griffith and Stacey about 69”
funny
An open letter to PEA! And why should we trust you PEA, after you blatant attempt at distorting the facts and purporting to show DR Rowley in a bad light in that horrendous article that you crafted about him having an illegitimate child or children as you put it. I say judge you on your track record and the way it stands to date it does not look healthy for you, you allusions to grandeur is clouding your better judgement. ( not sure if you had good judgement to begin with) This leads me to think that you are suffering from Schizophrenia which is a brain disorder that affects the way a person acts, thinks, and sees the world. People with schizophrenia have an altered perception of reality, often a significant loss of contact with reality. They may see or hear things that don’t exist, speak in strange or confusing ways, believe that others are trying to harm them, or feel like they’re being constantly watched.