Sideshow Luiz stuns Colombia; Germany chokes France’s rooster

Gems at Lajoya

David Luiz, the Brazilian defender with the “Sideshow Bob” locks, finally took centre stage today as the host nation produced its most assured performance of the 2014 World Cup thus far to edge Colombia 2-1 today.

But Brazil was battered and bruised by the final whistle. And we don’t just mean the protesters on the street.

Talisman Neymar Junior left the playing area on a stretcher after a knee in the small of his back from Colombia right back Juan Zuniga. Brazil team doctor Rodrigo Lasmar confirmed after the match that Neymar suffered a fractured vertebra and will be unavailable for the remainder of the tournament; while captain Thiago Silva was ruled out of the semifinal clash with Germany by a cheap yellow card.

And, once more, Brazil attackers Fred and Hulk were as useful as cassette players in a digital world.

But, most importantly, the “Samba Boys” are still there.

Photo: Sideshow who?! Brazil defender David Luiz celebrates the decisive goal against Colombia today.  (Copyright AFP 2014/Vanderlei Almeida)
Photo: Sideshow who?!
Brazil defender David Luiz celebrates the decisive goal against Colombia today.
(Copyright AFP 2014/Vanderlei Almeida)

It is 23 years and 25 games since Colombia defeated Brazil in a competitive fixture and the Colombians never looked like causing an upset today.

Brazil got both goals from set pieces. Silva used his knee for the opener after being left criminally unattended by Colombian midfielder Carlos Sanchez while Luiz converted a tremendous free kick in the 68th minute.

Colombian star James Rodriguez pulled a goal back from the penalty spot in the 80th minute but team officials might have already been packing their bags.

It set up an enthralling semi-final clash with European superpower Germany who saw off France 1-0 this afternoon in an underwhelming affair.

Picture Germany coach Joachim Löw sneaking up behind a French rooster with a pillow and a steely look in his eye; it was a match that should be reviewed by forensic pathologists not football purists.

Thirty two years ago, football fans were stunned by a scene of naked violence as West German goalkeeper Harold Schumacher clattered into French substitute Patrick Battiston with such force that he had two teeth knocked out and three broken ribs. The Dutch referee, Charles Corver, did not even award a free kick and Germany went on to win in a penalty shoot-out.

The sense of injustice led to an explosion in France where cars bearing German license plates reportedly had their windows smashed and tyres slashed.

Löw was much more passive aggressive today.

Photo: Job plucking done! A German fan predicts an undressing for France's rooster mascot. (Copyright AFP 2014/Yasuyoshi Chiba)
Photo: Job plucking done!
A German fan predicts an undressing for France’s rooster mascot.
(Copyright AFP 2014/Yasuyoshi Chiba)

Dynamic France midfielder Paul Pogba found himself in a white, padded cell as German midfielders Sami Khedira, Bastian Schweinsteiger and Toni Kroos took turns pretended to be the young Frenchman’s straitjacket. And Löw employed the more muscular, old-school centre forward Miroslav Klose upfront as Germany attempted to outmuscle the French defence.

In the end, powerful German defender Mats Hummels got the decisive goal with a header off an early free kick as 21-year-old Frenchman Raphael Varane tried limply to put him off. It looked like a five-year-old child trying to get a balloon out of his dad’s hands.

France coach Didier Deschamps never found a convincing answer to Löw’s tactics. Perhaps CSI will.

Brazil coach Luis Scolari must; and he will not have Neymar and  Thiago Silva to help now.


Today’s World Cup action

Quarterfinal round

Germany 1 (Mats Hummels 12), France 0

Brazil 2 (Thiago Silva 7, David Luiz 68), Colombia 1 (James Rodriguez 80)


Star of the Day

Much has been made of the individual brilliance of South American wonder-boys like Lionel Messi, James Rodriguez and Neymar at the 2014 World Cup. But sometimes a coach can be just as decisive as the flair players.

Photo: Can we play football monsieur? Germany coach Joachim Löw (left) tries to keep the ball from France defender Patrice Evra. (Copyright AFP 2014/Patrik Stollarz)
Photo: Can we play football monsieur?
Germany coach Joachim Löw (left) tries to keep the ball from France defender Patrice Evra.
(Copyright AFP 2014/Patrik Stollarz)

If you find yourself rooting for the bad guys in the movies, you’re probably putting Joachim Löw as your Facebook profile picture right now.

Or, to put it another way, would you really be surprised to learn that Löw whispered to Pogba: “I am your father…”


Villain of the Day

What was Colombia midfielder Carlos Sanchez thinking as his team defended a corner in only the seventh minute of the match?

Whether he switched off his television before he left the hotel? What’s the name of that song?

He certainly did not have his job in mind as Thiago Silva snuck around his blind side to kick in Colombia’s back door.

Maybe they will tie a string on Sanchez’s finger next time; or allow him to take cheat notes on to the field.

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About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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  2. Bernard is not the key, Hernanes is the required man for the Germany game. We don’t need speed we need more guile in the middle.

  3. verb: “to tote”. a person who totes “totee”. Stop toting Lasana Liburd. 1990, 2006 and 2010 is long gone.

  4. No David Luis no Neymar! Remember when Pele got hurt! Brazil won the thing. Lasana Liburd like yuh pay de man to mash up we star man huh! Dante will do fine against his German counterparts. Unleash Bernard!

  5. Well I thought the reports came out rather quick but all seems true and correct so onwards with Anderson Hernanes starting in place of the Talisman…..

  6. Situations like that where you injured a player like that on purpose you should receive a ban until that player comes back

  7. James Rodriguez is real good and the Brazilians respected his talent. After the game, the Brazilians including their coach gave him respect and showed him compassion and understanding about his sorrow for the loss. Classy sportsmanship, I thought…

  8. Kenneth he say if I ent making the next round you ent too. James Rodriguez is a special player. Fun to see how he fits in Real Madrid next season

  9. Columbia’s # 18 who kneed Neymar should have been red carded. Hope the referee is not allowed to referee another WC match… nor linesman.

  10. ESPN FC
    BREAKING: Team doctor Rodrigo Lasmar confirms Neymar suffered a broken vertebra and is out of the World Cup

  11. If that’s true…that Columbian defender had better be in international airspace already.

  12. Hmmm now that don’t sound good at all. I’ll await a complete report on his well being though.

  13. Neymar – broken 3rd vertebrae – out of the cup is the world on the twitter land

  14. Lmao well that sounds like a gr8 plan Hahahhahaha

  15. Yes, both of you have won your games so we can lime as I bite my nails tomorrow afternoon.

  16. Hahahahaha. Fred is the greatest ever. I saw a slow-motion replay of a play in the box that summed him up nicely. It was a lofted ball and several Brazilians were challenging the Columbian defenders in the air. The ball is cleared, then as the footballers are landing on their feet Fred comes tumbling slowly into the camera view, arms outstretched, appealing for everything and nothing.

  17. Seein some quotes on twitter from the journalist in braz quotin Scolari saying he doesn’t think Neymar will be fit to play. If that the case, Germany wins

  18. Neymar fit, Brazil has a chance. Neymar out, the tanks will crush them mercilessly.

  19. Lmao, yes sadly Argentina barely escapes that bracket. Understood regarding the free kick. And a special lol to the local fans of le coq gaulois, you must never forget that just like a pot hound, cock only bad in his yard.

  20. Big match experience won if for Gerry also. Low went back to his tried & tested tactic of 4-2-3-1 along with certain players in their key positions.

  21. Crowd factor won it for Brazil. Colombia never got out of 1st gear, Hames had no space & Cuadradro never got to run at Marcelo.

    So great tactics by Scolari, since i was giving Colo the edge since i wasn’t sure how he was going to deal with those Colo treats.

    This game makes me thing, whether after a year if Scolari has placed too much importance on Gustavo? Fernandinho/Pauliho did a brilliant job as a box 2 box duo.

    I wonder now if he’d be brave enough to take the hand breaks off totally now & play Hulk up top & bring in Willian. All the pace + plus home crowd, i dont see anyone beating them unless Argentina actually step up.

    However if word in next few days that Neymar is out – that will be the end of it BRA. Can’t beat Gerry without Neymar. But I think Dante would be a good replacement for suspended

    For aforementioned reasons, gotta give Arg the clear edge of Belgium now too. Won’t be surprised if all the misfiring strikers for Arg step up 2moro..

  22. Amery Browne, how does this sound for Brian’s epitaph:
    “Germany are a spent force their tanks are on empty.”

  23. Germany are a spent force their tanks are on empty.

  24. That’s why they were favorites before nearly every World Cup

  25. Lol. Fair point Jason. Argentina exempted of course. But I meant the free kick that surely surprised the Colombia goalkeeper.

  26. Brazil hasn’t scared anyone in a long time Brian. I’m not falling for their joga bonito mumbo jumbo. Lol.
    And I won’t feel so confident against Germany at all.

  27. Good one Lasana but “stuns Colombia”? Lmao. . . In form or out of form Comnebol teams are more likely stunned to win when playing Brazil.

  28. Lasana Dont let Kendall’s FALSE bravado fool you…While I admit they upped their game today, Brazil will struggle against Germany without Tiago Silva and depending on how badly Neymar is injured…once my boys do the business vs Costa Rica tomorrow I happy ☺

  29. I don’t think it was a goalscoring opportunity though like Suarez’s handled ball on the line.

  30. Well dion David Luis was right behind to clean it up

  31. Ceaser took the player out from scoring he knew exactly what he was doing I have seen GK get red 4 less than that in the Epl

  32. Hah. Careful what you wish for!

  33. Once Neymar can walk, he will probably play. And if he can’t walk? He still probably won’t be worse than Fred! Hahaha.

  34. Yellow for me. But I am bias.

  35. Doesn’t matter who comes through from the other side, we are going to win. I will I would like to see Argentina beaten in the final so I can laugh at the Messi fans.

  36. He was bawling. Neymar is done. No worries.

  37. You think so Dion? I thought a yellow card was sufficient.

  38. That ref blew that call that’s red 4 ceaser and a PK

  39. :”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( You wanna kill me today!!!!!!!!

  40. France surprised me though. They looked like they needed ten water breaks

  41. Lol. It was a tactical match for coaches rather than fans to enjoy.

  42. Eh Eh the game finish Boi I fall asleep watching it was that boring (yawn)

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