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No Holders Barred: Commandment to unwed girls: Thou shalt not open thy legs!

My heart is breaking for that young woman. You don’t know how it breaks my heart to know that the Ph.D student whose car was stolen some days ago recovered the vehicle but without her marine samples and research. It truly hurts. Although I don’t have a doctorate—yet!— I can safely say, thanks to my experience earning a master’s degree, that tonnes and tonnes of painstaking work goes into producing a thesis the length of a book.

Photo: A young lady looks as though the weight of the world is on her shoulders. Might she too have lost precious documents?

Losing all of that in one day is nothing short of maddening.

Make no mistake about it, university is hard work, years of hard work, sleepless nights, sacrifices. And then this on top of all that? I am surprised the young lady still has her sanity. That is something that would surely have sent me off.

These damn pests! Yes, these damn pests who stole the girl’s car. When her brother-in-law found the car in Piarco, her samples and research were gone. Is just wicked these blasted people wicked! Did they have to dump her samples and research too? It’s true they are probably too damn illiterate to realise exactly what those documents were but did they have to dump them?

They took the parts of the car they wanted and left the rest. They could have left her academic papers and samples as well in the same way, couldn’t they, because they didn’t need them.

But is just wicked they blasted wicked! And that goes for all the other criminals in the country, the murderers, the rapists, the drug pushers, etc.

Photo: A Trinidad and Tobago Crime Stoppers notice requesting information on the whereabouts of Ria Sookdeo. Kidnappers are only one group of the many criminals with which the country is now plagued.

I am absolutely tired of these pests. I am tired of them distressing law-abiding citizens like myself. I am tired of it, I am fed up, I am exasperated! So I have to open my mouth and say something—forgive the extra decibels—to those who have given birth to these damn annoyances.

Keep your blasted legs closed!

If you have no money to mind a child, if you are still in school, if you are unmarried, if you have no bloody value system to impart to a child, keep your blasted legs closed!

Keep your blasted legs closed because you are giving birth to unwanted children who become burdens to society. If you don’t want them, you think society will?

I am really pissed after reading about that student, blasted pissed at these damned criminals. PISSED! I know how hard I had to work to get where I am without some bloody misfit whose parents didn’t do what they were supposed to do taking all of that away, setting me back a whole blasted semester. Really?

Photo: A frustrated student hard at work. It makes things no easier when students have to worry about their work being lost or stolen.

The Lord admonishes in more than one place in the Bible—Matthew 15:19, 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Galatians 5:19 et passim—against fornication but who’s reading? Who’s listening? Who’s heeding? Trini society jamming still! We are sexually liberated and the end result, apart from rampant STDs, is a generation of unwanted, uncared for children with no training, no manners, no broughtupsy.

I don’t doubt that what I have just written didn’t go down well with some people. I don’t doubt that some supporters who were on board up until that paragraph have now stopped reading. But that’s okay. The only thing I am prepared to change is the decibel level.

You see, I am not writing this to win friends; I am writing this, with apologies to Dale Carnegie, to influence people. I write in the hope that the wise among us will take steps to change our society. I write with a view to helping change the mentality of lousy, doh-care parents.

So rail all you want to rail against me. But ask yourself this: is our society and is this world any better off for disregarding biblical principles? Ask yourself that.

Photo: A 2017 children’s band in San Fernando makes a plea for better treatment for kids. Many parents, it seems, have still not got the memo.

At the secondary school where I work, cell phones are taken from the children when they arrive and given back at the end of school. The other day, a young mother came to the principal’s office. Piercings in the nose and all along the ears, dress not nearly appropriate to come into a school.

“Oh, is my chile belongings,” she redundantly informed the principal. “How allyuh could take way my chile belongings?” And so on and so forth.

The “chile” had been sent to school, by the way, with long, elaborate extensions in the hair because the school does not expressly forbid it.

Realising that the intimidatory tactics were cutting no ice with the principal, the parent calmed down. After a while, despite all the piercings on her body, her own inappropriate dress and behaviour, she turned to the child and began to upbraid her.

My co-workers and I were flabbergasted. Did she really expect to successfully discipline a child dressed the way she was and after her outburst? Who she think she foolin?

But we’re sexually liberated. An 18-year-old can consent to sex, get married, even though (s)he hasn’t finished school, still doesn’t know him/herself and can’t even legally buy him/herself an alcoholic drink yet.

Photo: Sex has long been on the informal school curriculum…and not just for 18-year-olds!

We’re sexually liberated. Feel good, Trinidad and Tobago, feel good!

Of course, there are other factors contributing to crime, such as a corrupt Trinidad and Tobago Police Service, an inefficient judiciary and an incompetent government. But sexual freedom plays a big part.

I have no empirical evidence but my feeling is that a lot of these criminals are the products of young, unwed mothers who don’t have a clue what they are doing. In the words of an old acquaintance, they felt their vaginas “scratching” them so they reacted; they didn’t think about anything else. When the baby came, it was a problem. They did the best they could—not very much sometimes—to clothe and feed them and could not be bothered to impart godly values.

Sigh! I have no doubt that, as Carnival approaches, many more vaginas will begin to itch. Balls too (hell, they itching all now!) so we can expect many more unwanted children to be born between the end of October and Christmas.

And we can expect Trinidad and Tobago to sink deeper into the muck and the mire. And the crime.

Photo: Forensic scientists collect data at a crime scene.

So verily, verily, I say unto thee, thou shalt feel free to rail all thou wanteth against what I have said. But as thou dost so, please take a moment to think about the young doctoral candidate’s massive—and massively unnecessary—loss.

And to ask thyself as well if this country and this world are any better off today for continuing to disregard biblical principles.

About Akilah Holder

Akilah Holder
Akilah Holder is a former college lecturer and journalist whose strong convictions often win her enemies, which does not faze her. She lives by the mantra ‘ignore the ignorant,’ has already published one book and has her own blog at https://intelligenttalk.wordpress.com/

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206 comments

  1. I’ve never read so much nonsense in my entire life.

  2. My Brother the Men are more guilty than the Women as far as that point is concerned.

  3. ive read this published abroad as studies

  4. To add to this a lot of young unwed single mother go on to become productive mothers that mold and guide their children who turn out to be productive young persons in society because of where they saw their single mother come from with little resources and the effort that she put into ensuring that they do not turn on to the wrong part

  5. All yall talking shit you could have either of parents single or together still won’t make a difference. It’s the individual themselves. Face it yall spawn bad eggs all the same. Every parent knows their child. Most of whom would have had temperamental issues from an early age. Everyone seems to be a psychologist. Still can’t change yuh child mind if it’s made up. Molding is a different story.

  6. The article was outright bias , disrespectful and vile. It’s good to know that she came from a home with married parents so her mother was able to open her legs. I grew up in a single parent home and none of us are criminals. She’s out her her place. There are so many circumstances that causes such. But you would not know as emperical data meant nothing to you. Btw, the car was stolen and left where it can be found without the papers etc one could conclude someone doing a similar degree with married parents took it.

  7. Sooo girls just open their legs and POOF babies are asexually conceived? Wow! I never knew that girls reproduced all on their own.

  8. Oh the things I wanna tell this individual but I might end up wanting to punch her in the face. Why are these same tomes not preached to young men as well? Why is the onus still on the woman to keep her legs closed but not on the man to practise restraint? Akilah Holder you have just proven that education does not equate to neither intelligence nor common sense. If single mothers & children of single mothers were to listen to your trite sanctimony there never would have been great people like Barack Obama who was born to a single teenage mother. Not all single parent/child are created equal. Please hush.

  9. Well, get data to either support or refute your hypothesis. That is progress and maturity

  10. I just read a whole lot of ignorance spewed by the holder of a Masters Degree. I can’t imagine this was allowed to be published. Such ignorance have no place in a public space and to use scripture to justify this woeful ignorance tells how little this person has been converted by the very scriptures. I will simply pray for him/her to be enlightened.

  11. This is the first time (okay, maybe the 2nd time) that I am not impressed with what you’ve brought here. I agree with some of the ‘philosophy’ if you can call it that but I am not a feminist and I don’t go around calling women’s rights more than children or even the many battered men (some who can’t stop bawling that they are battered too every time they see something tragic about a woman and women getting so much attention), but I have to say now that this was really a set of nonsense and the author forgot that it takes two hands to clap but she’s talking as though there are 100 women itching and only 5 men who can’t control that thing as well.

    I am very surprised that you gave this author the light of day – and it’s not itching, it’s called hormonal changes unless she wants to think that men don’t go through that too and grow some proper balls. Steups.

  12. I feel as if everytime I see a post from Liburd I’m slightly annoyed. Now I think I just got brain cancer from reading that crap.

  13. I havent read the article but the excerpt is bordering on offensive and puerile. Thank god the author accepts they have no empirical evidence for their feeling and does not attempt to pass off their feeling as anything other than that.

  14. In Canada a single unemployed parent is catered for; notice i said parent…not woman…they are given free housing, furnishings, food vouchers and an allowance. They are not scorned and told to keep their legs shut. Canada is one of the most disciplined societies …low crime rate , human rights respected.

    • Are the gov’t , NGOs and Civil society ready for these changes? I am pretty sure Canada rate of teenage pregnancies are lower than TT and their budget as well as taxes pay for all the services.
      TT had and may still have the monies to really take care of teen parents, children and pensioners but we mismanaged our patrimony and natural resources.

    • The point is there are ways to deal with our situation without being demeaning to “these women”

    • I think my biggest issue with Akilah’s commentary is that it is demeaning and that towards the most vulnerable group of women in our society. More than that she could never convince me of any of it coming from any religious perspective since Christians are cautioned that revilers, that is people who use language at others, the way Akiliah used it here, will not make it into heaven…bluntly speaking

    • Devinish which costs more? To tailor a model for our circumstance or to keep dealing with the symptoms, of which violent crime is just one…and for me, not even the most critical

  15. How about – what can the government social service bodies and the communities do to help young unwed mothers who do not have support from their families to help them provide a ‘good’ environment for bringing up their children? This can bring us to – what can Family Planning do to bring the message home”? Then we get to – how can we make changes that would allow ALL schools to teach, I’ll call it ‘Family Life’ in schools which would involve dealing with children? I once read an article that in a school in the States they brought babies to these classes and it made the students recognise the responsibility of bringing up children so that many put off having children until they were emotionally and financially able.

  16. Why do some members of society paint all single mothers in the same color, and with the same brush? Some women did not ask their partners to die and leave them to raise their children alone. Some women have no choice but to get out of abusive relationships. Some single women have made a conscious choice of raising a child of a friend or a relative. They then become single mothers. If a true scientific study is done, I am sure the statistics will show that very many single mothers, regardless of circumstance, have done a good job of raising decent citizens who are positive contributors to society. If you are the product of a single mother, and have an ax to grind as the saying goes, do not judge every other situation in the same way as you view your own.
    PS. The drug addicted young man who broke into my home on several occasions, lived with his PARENTS, in a middle class family, and a ‘well to do’ neighborhood. I rest my case.

  17. Devinesh, you have missed the point entirely. It is not that teens have no responsibility but rather that their actions are responses to stimuli offered by this joke of a society that on one hand looks the other way as children lose their innocence corrupted by adult entertainment and vices. Adults chose violent and sexual tv, music and movie content to share with them. Adults bought sexually immodest fashions for them to wear.Adults egged them on to dance suggestively while they snickered.
    To blame them while we are well aware of bribes passing in licensing, billion dollar accounts belonging to ex ministers and abortionists plying their trade unchallenged by TTPS, DPP, AG or any citizen for that matter.
    These young people are watching skunks in white collars own businesses where they price gouge, underpay staff, driving million dollar SUVs, to multimillion dollar homes and going on million dollar shopping spree holidays in Paris, New York and London.
    The same skunks that have licensed firearms and bodyguards.
    Sorry but the teens are no more to blame than you or I for crime.

  18. lost brain cells with this one

  19. The premise of the argument Devinesh Neeranjan wad not about an absence of support…it was the suggestion that a particular group of women identified as “these women” were responsible for crime because they are having sex. Please, where is the reasoning?

  20. I think some cannot see the reasoning theoretical or not. It’s a factor in the crime as some teenagers may not had sufficient support to bring up children that can contribute positively to society.

  21. Why is being unmarried lumped into this? Some people, myself included, have no desire to be married. Does this mean I should never have children? Because someone else’s religious beliefs says I shouldn’t? Gimme a break eh. It is this kind of judgmental, holier than thou attitude that makes me wary of religious people.

  22. I get so tired of girls and women being blamed alone for being that apparently most heinous of things single parenthood. Telling girls alone to not open their legs lets boys off the hook. Our boys need to be more careful about their sexual choices. Steupssssssss

  23. Ok since we are going with theories here…can we theorize that one possibility that the car theives were motivated by targeting and dumping the said research?

  24. That is so not true it is unbelievable! Wow! Wow!

  25. Is there empirical evidence that criminals emanate from single parent homes. What about delinquent parents (both mother and father) but neither party takes full responsibility for training the children, since there is conflict in the home. What about absentee fathers? What about mothers who make them but discard them? What about the professional women; who have made the choice to have child,using “I independent, I don’t need a male/father figure.Did you consult your child if asked he/she wanted a father, (selfish decision). There are so many contributing factors to this issue.Over the last two decades there has been so much changes. One thing I have observed is today’s parents feel they can pay for everything , while all kids want ,is to spend quality time with them. For many of them it’s drop off in school then lessons till night and in some cases lessons on weekends, So who is bonding with them?.The fast pace of life and skewed priorities of some parents has resulted in the creation of some criminals.Another contributing factor is the removal of prayers from school has led to the downward slide of behaviour of the youths of the country. Mind you the behaviour was not borne last year but was years in the making when parents don’t train and discipline them. This is not an overnight occurrence , but years of neglect. The absence of moral, ethics and integrity has led to increased crime. There are several social and educational programmmes, but, are people seeking assistance and advice on how to improve their lives and kids lives.In the final analysis every issue starts with parenting from toddler to adolescent. What are we teaching them or are we not teaching at all?

  26. Crime is not something that exists only in poor neighbourhoods. (Although if it were, you would think that would be motivation for the wealthy to share their spoils more! Lol)
    Anyway, the goal at Wired868 is to provoke intelligent discussion. Our columnists and letter writers contribute to that and we are grateful.
    We don’t agree with everything said, just as no editor at any newspaper/web site in the world would agree with every single column or letter to the editor. However we think it is important that we don’t listen only to what we agree with, as we then create an echo chamber which has its own dangers.
    I think the responses here were mostly very mature and people articulated their views for and against in a very thoughtful way.
    It is very positive when we can disagree without being nasty but by clearly explaining our own views. So I am grateful to everyone who has contributed to this thread and those who join in later and maintain the level of this exchange.

  27. Some of the most clueless people when it comes to children is educated people. They have a lot of theory a no common sense. They look for child rearing tips from a book instead of their elders. Then they have kids who running the house. I experienced it myself. I used to be a nanny for years.

  28. I have seen some of the most abused and neglected children in the most prestigious homes. Seven figure incomes and nobody caring for the kids. They throw money and toys at them then they close that eyes to the drugs and the mischief. Then bail them out when they get into trouble cause after all they are mister this or mr. that and the kid is a first rate thug.

  29. Lasana Liburd, allowing poorly formed opinion pieces not only gives a platform to ignorance but validates this kind of simplistic thinking about a problem that is far too complex for a FB thread discussion. Yuh shudda trust yuh Spidey sense and lef it be.

    • I have to agree. I lost brain cells on this one today.

    • This is Akilah’s fourth or fifth column. The others largely went down well. I wouldn’t want to censor her just because I don’t agree with her point this time.
      I think most people get what she means, so I don’t think it was poorly formed. You probably mean poorly supported.
      I’d say based on the maturity and constructiveness of most of the responses, it was worth the risk.
      It isn’t a bad thing to challenge ourselves from time to time. Gives us a chance to articulate our own view points and test them.
      I’m sorry you were annoyed by the piece but I think the discussion that it provoked was positive.

    • Lasana Liburd Bonnie Khna is right…it was extremely poorly formed.

    • Ucill I would take that criticism. But I still am very slow to censor. So even with my spider sense tingling, I’d prefer to let people make their own minds up whenever possible.

    • I’ll be the judge of what I read and what I make of it, thanks. Some of us actually enjoy reading other perspectives even if we don’t agree with it. And I find the implication that I would get dumber by reading it is a little off-putting, but to each his own!

    • Lasana Liburd, I never mentioned censure of any kind, but could you not have pushed back a little so the writer could offer some solutions instead of a rant written politely? Isn’t it time we demanded more of columnists? That also helps shape a better discussion. As it stands, plenty people on here too willing to accept the ‘sex is the root of all evil’ argument and quick to shoot down any form of liberal thinking. I agree with you that debate is good and needed, but based on a little more sense nah :-).

    • Bonnie Khan she did offer a solution; some us just didn’t like it. Because you don’t think it’s a viable solution doesn’t mean it shouldn’t see the light of day. A few ppl on here agreed with her tho.

    • Nadeera before a solution can be offered the problem has to be identified…..

    • Also, there should be some level of congruence between the problem and the solution. If you are misinformed about what the problem is, how can the solution make sense?
      I eh have a problem with her solution, is how she arrive at the problem… and that is where I lost brain cells trying to find the logic in that… reasoning.