As oil prices continue to fall and stupidity keeps rising, Trinidad and Tobago citizens capable of rational thought and non-partisan ideas are under siege and increasingly desperate to earn a living.
Faced with the possibility of having to disconnect SportsMax, Mr Live Wire secretly filled out a form at a People’s Partnership recruitment agency designed to test his skill at Public Relations.
The following are real answers to three make-believe questions:
One: Justify an unthinkable period in world history.
Answer: History has been unkind to the slave trade for decades and has warped the thinking of millions of people with regards to one of the most prosperous and innovative periods in our hemisphere. But then could we really expect better from our PNM education?
As always—and I know the Government would appreciate this—the problem lay in the inability of the business leaders of that day to properly convey the good work they were doing. If only the slave masters had a public relations department like NGC’s.
You see, what we know as the slave trade was nothing more than the first mass unpaid internship programme. Granted there were a few kinks, which are to be expected in any pioneer project.
There were some issues over the duration of the internship as some businessmen figured the life of the contract should be just that. Life.
But think of the wonderful and generous benefits. Free meals, housing quarters and every day was take-your-children-to-work day. Trust me, I have never even bought an intern a Sprite.
Two: Soften the image of a leader of unmeasurable cruelty.
Answer: In the middle of the 20th Century, an Austrian-born man enlisted in the German army had very odd views on immigration. I would retell his story under the heading: “He’s Not That Into Jews.”
Put him in a pair of skinny jeans and I think I could get it published in the Women’s Magazine.
Three: Give a stirring argument for keeping the People’s Partnership in government.
Answer: Well, there is… Maybe if Brent Sancho got… I think taxpayers’ money would be…
Ahmm… How about: Machel Montano might re-enter the Soca Monarch?
Editor’s Note: Ravi Balgobin Maharaj got the job.