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Samba Boys fail to cross Mexican border

“Everybody out! Crawl back into whatever hole you came from!”

Like a crabby parent who returned home too early, Mexico goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa spoiled the samba party yesterday with a defiant performance against the host nation as Mexico and Brazil played to a goalless draw at Fortaleza.

Photo: Mexico goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa goes full length to keep out a Neymar header. (Copyright AFP 2014/Yuri Cortez)
Photo: Mexico goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa goes full length to keep out a Neymar header.
(Copyright AFP 2014/Yuri Cortez)

Flip! On went the lights; and, as it turned out, Brazil aren’t quite as irrepressible when a certain Japanese referee is not in the stadium. True, Brazil had enough chances to win the match; but can the Selecao truly bear the strain of two or three passengers within its ranks against better opposition?

And, when one considers that the numbers protesting the World Cup could leap from the hundreds to the thousands if Brazil is eliminated early, FIFA is probably just as keen as Felipe Scolari to see the host team have a good run in the competition.

Elsewhere, in Group H, all four goals from open play came via substitutes in two tedious contests.

Marouane “the Amazing Afro” Fellaini inspired a Belgium revival as the small European nation rebounded from a goal down to edge Algeria 2-1. And Russia goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev might be the most relieved man in Brazil after his goalkeeping error, which gifted South Korea’s opening, was partially atoned by teammate Alexander Kerzhakov’s scrappy equaliser.

Ochoa still made it cool to wear gloves though.

A photograph of the Mexican goalkeeper with six fingers on his right hand and a glove to match went viral today. What else could explain his fantastic saves?

Photo: A doctored photograph of Mexico goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa... He really has six arms!
Photo: A doctored photograph of Mexico goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa… He really has six arms!

Sadly, the image was doctored. Mr Live Wire actually thinks Ochoa has six arms although, so far, no photographer has been able to provide conclusive evidence.

There seems to be sufficient proof that Marcelo is not Roberto Carlos with an afro and Fred couldn’t pass for Luis Fabiano let alone Ronaldo.

Brazil faces Cameroon next and is still heavily favoured to emerge from Group A. But, just in case, Neymar best insist on counting the next goalkeeper’s fingers and arms before kick off.

 

Today’s 2014 World Cup summary

Group H

Belgium 2 (Marouane Fellaini 70, Dries Mertens 80), Algeria 1 (Sofiane Feghouli 24 pen)

Russia 1 (Alexander Kerzhakov 74), South Korea 1 (Lee Keun-Ho 68)

Group A

Brazil 0, Mexico 0

 

Star of the Day

Mexico goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa is unemployed at the moment. Is it any wonder that the world is on the edge of financial ruin when a man who can save like that can’t get a job?

 

Villain of the Day

Russian goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev just avoided a State-funded summer vacation in Siberia today after his horrific ball-handling gifted South Korea its opening goal.

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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45 comments

  1. Yes, I think they missing Lucas Moura….

  2. yeah especially when there are other players on other W/Cup teams has the same age or even older than them that you mentioned Prince.

  3. Brian Manswell ah promise yuh we could have played Dihno, kaka, Robihno as a forward and they do better than those 2 forwards. And ah still mad we left Lucas mora home.

  4. Lasana, Mango, never was a big fan of both forwards picked by Luiz Felipe Scolari, especially Jo ………..watched him when he was by Man City and I found they took to long looking for a replacement. Having said that they are in the side so I’ve no choice other than to support.

  5. Let’s not buss them up yet. They were great. They have gotten older and now they need a new generation. They were a Robben goal from not being world champions 4 years ago. So it wasn’t like they were invincible. This year they were missing a younger Iniesta, they don’t have a goal scoring assassin like Torres use to be. This time the coach got it wrong. How do you not pick Jesus Navas, Negredo. How do you not play Mata and Carzola. Why play Casillas. How do you not play an in form David Villa. Come on man. I guess he stuck to his faithful guys.

  6. Lasana Liburd pressure buss pipe

  7. What good is it having all the technique in the world and you cannot tap home from four yards?
    Sometimes belly and bottle is as good as technique.

  8. Good bye Australia see you in the next four years yes.

  9. That was not a hand ball Them referees really good yes

  10. I taught that Van Persie’s goal would have been the greatest goal that was scored in this World Cup ent, but Cahill’s classic goal just proved him wrong yes, hahahahaha

  11. Well if Holland wins the cup eh I wouldn’t mind because they really need to win one long overdue. Them really good yes.

  12. Allyuh watchin’ too much UEFA

  13. Sim not me nah I am a Brazilian/ Germany fan until I die not switching for nutten.

  14. Earl, just like you, I have pegged Brazil to win this World Cup. But I think I will stop supporting non-CONCACAF teams after this. CONCACAF is becoming just as good as the giants.

  15. Hahahaha Fred Flinstone ent I really feel that meh other prolific goalscorer Lucas should have made my team to yes.

  16. No, I never played. Just a Trini who got into this World Cup thing when the T&T Strike Squad was on the Road to Italy in 1989. I live in the States now and I back the USA except when they are playing against the Soca Warriors.

  17. Sim I ran you through the UN database long eh I wasn’t no jokey police back in meh policing days nah and it look like you used to play the game to ent hence the reason why are so passionate. Lol

  18. Oh lawd is real writing celebrities I am up against here yes, but fuss I like the bacchanal I am so much enjoying it all yes

  19. Earl..check out my photo. Me and my little princess.

  20. Ok Sim. Now I know the person behind the pseudonym. 😉

  21. Now you have me curious too Sim! Lol

  22. Lasana and I were co-workers at the Trinidad Express. He was on the Sports Desk and I was in Advertising Sales. We are definitely not the same person. Not even the same gender. lol

  23. Mango and Brian Manswell, whatever you all do. Please keep Fred Flinstone on top.
    He is bound to come good sooner or later. Honest!

  24. Sim I know that isn’t your really name eh and you are full of satire the same as Mr Live Wire so I am beginning to believe you both are the same person yes. Hahahahaha

  25. And the USA can surprise the haters too.

  26. Yeah you are right hence the reason Belgium will surprise alot of Haters watch them carefully.

  27. My greatest second team in the World Germany will give any other team four right now the way they are playing ent did I not say meh Germans were coming eh and don’t talk about Holland who owes me a World Cup many moons ago ent especially with the great players and coaches that they have so America isn’t in the ending of this World Cup script et all. Them Americans really good yes.

  28. By the way, Beligium is not a top 10 team. So they can lose too.

  29. Why are you putting Portugal on a high pedestal??? Germany gave them 4 – 0 so they are not looking that great right now. Plus, Portugal got a red card and a yellow card during that loss so, if they are smart, they won’t play rough in their game against the USA.

  30. America beat Portugal and Belgium eh like you is the real obeah man I have been looking for all this time or what eh oh well let me know when you wake up from dreaming eh.Sim really good yes.

  31. If USA beats Portugal on Sunday, talk done. Just a little 1 – 0 something is all they need. Then they will face the winners of Group H. That is looking like it will be Belgium, so far. If they beat Belgium (or whoever wins Group H) the USA will be in the semis. Not inconceivable.

  32. Wait until the second round start nah because that is when the real football will truly begin and American airlines flight will be on the way back to the U.S..

  33. Top teams like Spain and Portugal have already faltered in this World Cup. Brazil didn’t even beat Mexico. All of this opens doors for the US who have an experienced coach and an experienced captain.

  34. Sim to be honest very similar to the CL the World Cup is about how deep ur bench is and at the moment they are not there yet! Earl Mango yuh rough Lol

  35. America will be going to the semifinals when cock grow teeth hahahaha

  36. Nothing is wrong with wishful, hopeful thinking Lol

  37. Brian, don’t forget the USA. They are going to the semis this year.

  38. How many did Argentina win eh and they feel that they are a big team ent. Them really good yes.

  39. Prince I won’t say the same teams but the top ones. For example England only once, Spain for the first time, Uruguay once, France same, . Brazil, Argentina, Italy, West Germany/Germany have all taken the Cup more than all the above mentioned. Other teams have been knocking on the door as well…. Big team such as Netherlands still looking for their first, Sweden, Portugal, Hungary, Poland, Bulgaria, Russia, Czechoslovakia/Czech Republic/Slovakia etc.

  40. Guy the cream will rise to the top. Every World Cup these hot and sweaty teams do this. The same teams always win the World Cup in the end

  41. Man of the match for sure! On to the next……….

  42. CONCACAF to the the world! UEFA and CONMEBOL are not everything. We are on the map too!