Live Wire

A satirical spin on Trinidad and Tobago news stories

PMs solve WI problems over breakfast

Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar slammed the WICB for being disrespectful in its statement regarding Jamaican PM Portia Simpson-Miller and both leaders revealed their desire to revamp regional cricketing fortunes. The Jamaican PM called for “greater accountability” among cricket authorities and Persad-Bissessar demanded “great change”. Problem solved. Sporting bodies worldwide are …

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Pot calls the kettle corrupt

Ernst & Young fraud expert Arnold Niranjan yesterday blasted Trinidad and Tobago for its failure to use anti-corruption legislation and a lack of will to root out fraud and corruption. It is arguably a needed wake-up call to local politicans and lawmen; and is stronger still if one ignores suggestions …

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CXC’s zero tolerance on education

CXC examiners declared zero tolerance on “cheating” students who use the internet to find material relevant to their exams and even plan to follow children on toilet breaks. Students will be punished severely for this nefarious activity; until they graduate, when they can expect to be fired if they cannot …

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US Embassy ignores local culture

Deputy Police Commissioner Jack Ewatski’s flight of fancy could be costly to his pilot Dan Condon who is listed as a director to the controversial light aircraft company while employed by the US Embassy. The Embassy explained that US government employees must “uphold the highest standards of personal integrity and …

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Pension system goes from repulsive to ridiculous

Persons 65 years and older will no longer have to visit social welfare centres to prove they are alive before receiving welfare pensions. Minister of the People Glenn Ramadharsingh described the replaced system as repulsive and horrific. Instead, social welfare officers must now visit the homes of thousands of elderly …

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Gov’t corruption busters still ignore Soca Warriors

England Premiership star and national football team captain Kenwyne Jones joined the chorus of 2006 World Cup players who are requesting government intervention over unpaid bonuses negotiated by Works Minister and ex-FIFA VP Jack Warner. The normally talkative Sport Minister Anil Roberts says little of note on the six-year dispute …

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PNM democracy inaction

Opposition Leader Keith Rowley and PoS Mayor Louis Lee Sing yesterday sorted out their differences following a leaked letter from Lee Sing that criticised a perceived lack of democracy within the PNM. PoS councillors had threatened to remove Lee Sing for his own authoritative leadership style, earlier this week, but …

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Gallant MPs to the rescue

Government MPs Dr Tim Gopeesingh and Dr Fuad Khan showed their keen medical instincts were still intact as they gallantly rushed to the aid of a Parliamentary employee who was heard bawling in pain from the bathroom during a Senate hearing. The staff member apparently had an allergic reaction to …

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T&T cricket needs you

Rayad Emrit will lead out the Trinidad and Tobago cricket team for the first time on Friday against defending champions, Jamaica, and without the benefit of more than half the team. Denesh Ramdin, Darren and Dwayne Bravo, Kieron Pollard, Adrian Barath, Lendl Simmons, Sunil Narine, Ravi Rampaul and Daren Ganga …

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The Sheriff and The Rottweiler

PoS Mayor Louis Lee Sing faces a move to oust him from his post after his complaint about the Opposition Leader’s perceived “undemocratic approach” to governance was leaked to the government. Wired868 is unsure which is more ironic; the PNM proving Lee Sing right by lynching him or the Mayor …

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Crime Watch gives up hunt for taste

Fixin’ T&T yesterday condemned Crime Watch for gross insensitivity following the broadcast of 33-year-old former West Indies cricketer Runako Morton’s final moments before he succumbed to injuries from a car crash on Sunday night. Crime Watch host Ian Alleyne wasn’t the only CCN employee with questionable judgment; Dominic Kalipersad, the …

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PCA slams errant policeman… With a pillow

One of three policemen who “emotionally raped” a naked rape victim by turning her away from the Morvant Police Station when she tried to make a report was fined $520 for neglect of duty. PCA chairman Gillian Lucky hopes the fine—less than half the admission price for Brian Lara’s all-inclusive …

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