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Live Wire

Silence of the lambs: Swimming’s soundless scream for help?

swimming-woman-ftr

Trinidad and Tobago starts its campaign in the 2013 FINA World Junior Championships today in Dubai and head coach Franz Huggins suggested that Jonathan Ramkissoon, Joshua Romany, Dylan Carter, Tyla Martin and Kristin Julien might represent the two island republic’s most gifted junior swim team. Ever. Naturally, team manager Dean Romany …

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Police Commissioners abuse statistics and union leader

policeman-chief-clancy-ftr

Acting Commissioner of Police Stephen Williams said yesterday that he was hurt by criticism of the nation’s police work. Although, possibly, not as hurt as the dozens of persons who his lawmen detained without evidence and released, without charge, four days later. Williams explained that “from a policing perspective, using …

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Good God: Would T&T politicians follow papal example?

pope-emeritus-ftr

Pope Emeritus, who was born Joseph Ratzinger, grew up to become Pope Benedict XVI but then opted for a final name change before his death, has allegedly revealed the truth behind his stunning resignation as Pope. “God told me to do it,” the ex-Pope supposedly told an unnamed visitor, according …

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Behind the iron throne: The Cabal descends into chaos

game-of-thrones-welcome-varys-ftr

The Lady Prime Minister summons her closest advisors, called the “Cabal”, to discuss control of the iron throne and a threat in Middle Trinidad from Lord Jack, who has risen from sure death like a phoenix; nay, a cockroach. Lord Anand, the Master of Coin, tries to assist her with a mathematical conundrum.    …

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Bring in the spinners: Pennelope says communication is PNM’s problem

Pennelope Beccles

PNM Senator Pennelope Beckles believes her party has just one major problem. Trinidad and Tobago doesn’t know how awesome it is and how fabulous its plans are for the country. “I don’t think the plans of what we would do if we get into government are sufficiently known by the …

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Whistling to the bank: Subhas wants big bucks for corrupt secrets

Subhas Panday

Attorney Subhas Panday has come up with a novel new retirement plan for civil servants. Panday, a former minister in the Ministry of National Secretary, told the Trinidad Express about his “Anti-White Collar Crime Authority” that would be focused on stopping highbrow financial crimes as opposed to cleaning white shirts. …

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Did Anil’s baby just win bronze?

Anil Roberts

Chaguanas West MP Jack Warner has claimed the alias of “Action Man” although it is uncertain whether he pinched the title as a farewell present from CONCACAF or had it purchased for him by friendly local contractors. But what do we call bilingual Sport Minister Anil Roberts, who juggles more …

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Anil goes green; but it’s not what you think

Mannie Ramjohn Stadium

Few would be stunned by news that COP politician Anil Roberts has been privately nurturing a green thumb. The part-time swim coach and full-time court jester treats political parties as flings and not lifetime partners; although Mr Live Wire cannot vouch that he knows the difference between the two types …

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Maraj holds TV6 panel hostage for three hours

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TV6 journalist and moderator Marlan Hopkinson successfully defused a remarkable hostage situation at the CCN building last night that involved a former Minister, a veteran journalist and an elderly gentleman who claimed to be a political analyst. TV6 had constructed a panel to discuss the Chaguanas West by-election but, inadvertently, …

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New Jack City goes green; watch your constituencies, Kamla

ILP interim leader Jack Warner

Sixty-nine percent of Chaguanas West yesterday decided that disgraced football administrator, foremost anti-transparency advocate and truth-challenged politician Jack Warner was more trustworthy than Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar and her cardboard cut-out candidate Khadijah Ameen. The Chaguanas West by-election ended a surreal three month period for the constituency …

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Greenday: The ILP gets a surprise guest for lunch

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Scene: Campaign lunch for the Independent Liberal Party. A skinny bearded man approaches Jack Warner. Man: “Ah Mr Warner, I thought I would pass by and show my support.” Jack: “Kublasingh, what are you doing here? The buffet’s over there.” Wayne: “Jack, I’m a philosophical person. Just because you and …

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