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Live Wire

A satirical spin on Trinidad and Tobago news stories

Tobago Love: PM’s hubby cracks a funny

“Take my wife… Please!” It is one of the most memorable one-liners of the 1960s and was a catchphrase for late British-American comic Henny Youngman. However, Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar believes her husband, Gregory Bissessar, had only the best intentions when he asked her to stay in …

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Bureaucratic Not-So-Flash Gordon ready to probe Ashworth’s mansion

The Integrity Commission has finally agreed to investigate TOP leader Ashworth Jack’s “nice house” after a 16-month delay since THA field liaison officer Moses Thomas initially asked the body to look into the matter. Integrity Commission chairman Ken “Absolutely-Not-Flash” Gordon told the Trinidad Express that Thomas’ report did not satisfy …

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Ashworth treats Tobago to PP politics

TOP leader Ashworth Jack, the hero of pumpkin and cucumber farmers worldwide, yesterday gave more information on his controversial mansion to Tobago voters. Jack, who is vying for the post of THA Chief Secretary, revealed that it was a “nice house” and far superior to anything that Orville London and …

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Lion cubs draw record crowd; Pro League club tries to poach them

A trio of lion cubs drew a record crowd at the Emperor Valley Zoo in Port of Spain on Sunday as an estimated 10,000 persons came out to see Mufasa, Scar and Kovu, who flew to Trinidad last week from Texas, US. The crowd created a massive traffic pile-up as …

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Moderate THA debate leaves candidates un-flushed

The three candidates for the Tobago House of Assembly (THA) Chief Secretary post turned up and there was a respectful tone with no cross-talk. Otherwise, the THA debate was as illuminating as a campaign advertisement and all candidates coasted through with the facilitator, Ronald Ramkissoon, interested in little besides the …

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Tobago Hilton stuck in an ugly, racist past

The Tobago Organisation of the People (TOP) has alleged that THA Deputy Chief Secretary and PNM representative Hilton Sandy told a political gathering “if you bring the wrong results, (a) Calcutta ship is coming down for you.” If the allegation is true, Sandy not only needs a lesson in racial sensitivity …

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Bravo’s U Report enrages cricket czar

The superb timing of Trinidad and Tobago cricketer Darren Bravo’s strokeplay has already won him global attention. His “tweets” aren’t bad either. Trinidad and Tobago Cricket Board (TTCB) Azzim Bassarath is not a fan, though. Bravo recently posted two unflattering photos of the dressing room used by national players on …

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A PP Christmas with Jack and Kamla

Scene: Cabinet Christmas party (Kamla and Jack small-talk next to the rum punch). Kamla: “Jack, I’m a little disappointed in this year’s party.” Jack: “Yes, I know, I really think we should get rid of Moonilal and Ramlogan. They’re getting to be a little too mannish.” Kamla: “No Jack, I …

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Volney tries Warner defence as section 34 farce continues

MP Herbert Volney tried a classic “Jack Warner defence” yesterday in regards to the on-going Section 34 controversy that has already done for his Cabinet career and threatens the credibility of the People’s Partnership government. The Jack Warner defence, named after the colourful National Security Minister, is famous for its …

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Warner’s hollow victory… and continuing fear of flying

National Security Minister and ex-FIFA vice president Jack Warner yesterday claimed FIFA’s inability to raise new evidence against former presidential candidate Mohamed Bin Hammam as personal vindication. “Because of the false allegations, my family and I were the subjects of much harassment and persecution, which unfortunately continue to this day,” …

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Ex-COP chairman suggests Machel Law

Former COP leader Joseph Toney thinks Trinidad and Tobago citizens should dip in their pockets for a good cause. Not for cosmetic surgery for a baby girl who had a chunk of her face bitten off or to aid the recovery of the Diego Martin flood victims, offset legal fees …

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That’s Istan-bul! Sport Minister is a tweet for Bovell

Tweet from @GeorgeBovell: “Coach arrived. He finished his 1st meeting in time for an inspirational lunch. Getting ready to head to the pool for the final tune up.”   It can’t be half-bad to have the Minister of Sport in your support staff. Presumably, celebrated Trinidad and Tobago swimmer George Bovell …

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