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Live Wire

PP ponders the value of $69

Scene: Office of the Prime Minister Kamla: “Roger, where is everybody? None of my ministers seems to be working lately…” Roger Samuel, Minister of State in the Office of the Prime Minister: “Well, Madam PM, you’ve gagged everybody important.” Kamla: “Yes but we didn’t think about the other unimportant ministers, …

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Who’s down with OPV?

Scene: Post-Cabinet meeting press conference Attorney General Anand Ramlogan: “Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to announce that due to the good governance of the People’s Partnership government, we have been able to save the taxpayers of Trinidad and, especially, our island paradise of Tobago, $0.2 billion that …

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San F’do councillor: Silence to the people

San Fernando councillor Shaka Joseph understands that the City Corporation must have monthly statutory meetings, as it is presumably in its bylaws, and the San Fernando residents have a right to be present since, technically, the City’s staff works for them. But should councillors really be forced to listen to …

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Police union head strengthened by immoral activity

Police Service Welfare Association president Sargeant Anand Ramesar declared that he was in great shape and stronger than ever after being found guilty of “engaging in a professional undertaking without permission from the Commissioner of Police, falsehood, and discreditable conduct.” The charges arose from Ramesar’s representation of a Tobago police …

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Stupid Communication Minister makes his point to CCN

Trinidad and Tobago may never know whether Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar was trying to be ironic when she selected her Cabinet team. There was shady ex-Judge Herbert Volney as Minister of Justice, the investigator’s magnet Jack Warner as National Security Minister, the controversial Ganga Singh as Minister of the Environment …

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PM does stand-up at Centre of Excellence

Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar thrilled her People’s Partnership colleagues with a deft stand-up routine yesterday at a $1,000-a-plate fund raiser for the upcoming THA elections. “They talk of corruption in my Government and up to today they cannot give me one specific instance of corruption,” said the Prime Minister. “They …

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East PoS gets six for a nine

East Port of Spain residents were hopping mad yesterday and took to the streets to protest about getting a six for a nine from National Security Minister Jack Warner. Literally. Last week, Warner said that his “People and Projects for Progress” would create jobs, end poverty and reduce crime in …

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Carlos’ Miracle on 34th Street

Carlos John, the former UNC Minister of Works, is a firm believer in the spirit of Christmas. In December 2010, John, who faces fraud charges for his role in the Piarco Airport scandal, applied to the Transport Commissioner to reserve number 34 for his next vehicle, which was a two-door …

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Children’s Life Fund CEO falls to dangerous wordplay

Children’s Life Fund chairman Varun Maharaj revealed that the organisation parted ways with its former CEO Geoffrey Lewis after he told the Trinidad Express that the charitable body had not received promised contributions from People’s Partnership ministers for most of their two years in government. A Cabinet note on 4 …

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COP chairman discovers time-travel

COP chairman Joseph Toney presumably stunned reporters yesterday with news that he has discovered time travel. Toney was recently handed a legal brief for the CLICO Commission of Enquiry by Finance Minister Larry Howai in what COP Leader Prakash Ramadhar described as a fair move. It only required the allegedly …

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Lies, damn lies and statistics

Scene: An unknown place of great beauty Jack Warner (looking around, bewildered): “Who are you?” Deity: “I am known by many names, but you would know me as God.” Jack: “God? But you don’t look anything like Morgan Freeman!” God: “Sigh. Ever since “Bruce Almighty” everyone seems disappointed when they …

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