Scene: Manager’s office, a  KFC West PoS branch. Phone rings. Manager: “Good morning, KFC, the manager speaking.” Dr Rowley: “Good morning, Dr Keith Rowley here. I’m calling about the complaint I made last week.” Manager:  “Hello again, Dr Rowley. What seems to be the problem this time?” Dr Rowley:  “This …

Scene: PP emergency meeting Prime Minister:  “Gentlemen, and ladies, I think you will all know the reason for this emergency meeting. Following yesterday’s march through the streets, it was clear to me from the television coverage that some of the trees around the Port of Spain savannah are in need …

(A deep, mysterious voice offers a monologue) IN THE FUTURE   ONE NATION IS AFFLICTED   WITH A NEW KIND OF GOVERNMENT.   ONE WOMAN CONTROLS IT ALL.   BUT JUDGEMENT IS COMING   TO TAKE DOWN AN EMPIRE.   HE MUST GO ALL THE WAY UP.   HERBERT TWO …

Scene: Set of “Morning Edition.” Fazeer Mohammed to camera: “Good Morning, Trinidad & Tobago. We start straightaway with the explosive statement by the government that, from midday today, the sky will officially be described as white instead of blue. “The statement, made yesterday by the Prime Minister at the Diplomatic Centre, …

Scene: Trinidad and Tobago Parliament. (Colm Imbert, MP for Diego Martin North/East, is on his feet). Colm Imbert: “Deputy Madame Speaker, we have convened here today in an emergency sitting of this house, to discuss amendments to this bill, which has been outrageously and unscrupulously passed by the government in …

Scene: Office of Acting Commissioner of Police. Phone rings. “Good morning, Stephen Williams speaking.” “Good morning, Sir. Acting Assistant Commissioner Fredericks here.” “Yes, What can I do for you, AAC Fredericks?” “Well, sir, it’s about the Minister’s new 52-point crime plan…” “Ah, yes, the crime plan. Interesting reading, isn’t it?” …

Scene: Office of the Minister of National Security Phone rings: “Good morning. Minister Warner speaking.” “Good morning, Minister.  Williams here.” “Yes, Commissioner. How can I help you?” “Well, Minister, you sent me some tips for tackling crime in East Port of Spain?” “Ah, yes. You mean the behavioural profiles?” “I …

The venue for the 2012 Paranoia Olympics, the Olympic Park which overlooks the London boroughs of Stratford and Hackney, caused much concern for the competitors. The Russians, for instance, who ritually top the medal table, seemed to be particularly worried about the number of CCTV cameras in the area. The …

Scene:  Prime Minister’s unofficial residence. Phone rings. “Good Morning, Kamla Persad-Bissessor SC, Prime Minister of Trinidad & Tobago speaking.” “Good morning your highness, Jack speaking.” “Ah, hello Minister Warner, you’re calling bright and early, what can I do for you today?” “Have you heard the news?” “Certainly. That Prince Harry …

Scene: Office of the Minister of National Security. Phone rings. “Good Morning, Jack Warner speaking.” “Good morning Minister, it’s the CoP here.” “COP? Who is calling me from the COP? Spalk already tells me everything that’s happening inside your party, I don’t need another snitch.” “No Minister, the Acting CoP. …

Scene: Office of National Security Minister Phone Rings: “Good Morning, Renraw, I mean Warner, speaking.” “Good Morning Minister, Collin here.” “Collin? Collin who?” “Collin Partap, Minister, your deputy.” “Ah yes, Mr Phonetap. What can I do for you?” “Well Minister, I’m still a little upset about our appearance on Morning …

Scene: Office of the Minister of Justice The telephone rings. “Good morning, Herbert Volney speaking.” “Good morning, Minister. This is Chief Justice Ivor Archie.” “Aah, Ivor. Good to hear from you, my boy. What can I do for you today?” “Well, Minister, I’m rather concerned about your statements about conducting …