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Filbert Street

Filbert Street
Filbert Street is a real columnist who works in a fantasy world that sometimes resembles our own.

Filbert Street spies new Opposition crime plan

Scene: Wired Towers, the offices of Wired868. 37th floor, corner suite. Office of Publisher/Editor-in-chief, Lasana Liburd. Secretary: “Mr Liburd, your 10 o’clock is here to see you.” Lasana Liburd (LL): “Thanks, Destra, bring him through. And Destra…” Secretary: “Yes, Mr Liburd?” LL: “Put some clothes on. Yuh so damn loose!” Secretary: …

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Filbert Street spies Tim Kee’s bank problems

Scene: Office of the Mayor of Port of Spain, Mr Raymond Tim Kee. (Phone rings) Raymond Tim Kee: “Good morning, Mayor Tim Kee speaking. Keep it short brother; time is money.” Voice: “Is that Tim?” Tim Kee: “Tim Kee, yes. Who is this?” Voice: “Good morning, Tim. This is St …

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Filbert Street seeks Rapid Response to new police unit

Scene: TV studio in Port of Spain Presenter: “Welcome back to the DayBreak show and I’m delighted to introduce my next guest, Sergeant Snail of the newly formed Rapid Response Unit. Good morning Sgt Snail.” Sgt Snail: “Good morning, Fuzzy. Sorry I’m late. Traffic.” Presenter: “Haha; so you get stuck …

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Greenday: The ILP gets a surprise guest for lunch

Scene: Campaign lunch for the Independent Liberal Party. A skinny bearded man approaches Jack Warner. Man: “Ah Mr Warner, I thought I would pass by and show my support.” Jack: “Kublasingh, what are you doing here? The buffet’s over there.” Wayne: “Jack, I’m a philosophical person. Just because you and …

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No fire-trucking way: Jack X looks for a way out latest scandal

Scene: International Rescue Committee headquarters in New York. Phone rings. IRC Chairman George Rupp answers George Rupp: “Hello. George Rupp speaking…” Ex-Minister of National Security, ex-Minister of Work and Infrastructure, ex-UNC Chairman, ex-Chaguanas West MP, ex-FIFA Vice-President, ex-CONCACAF President, ex-Caribbean Football Union President, ex-Trinidad and Tobago Football Federation Special Advisor, …

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Will Police get Lucky over the tragic Sea Lots accident?

Scene: Office of Acting Commissioner of Police, Stephen Williams Phone rings. Stephen Williams: “Good morning, Commissioner Williams speaking, and like Denzil Washington, I’m only acting. Hahaha!” Gillian Lucky: “Sorry but I’m not looking for Denzil Washington and I doubt I would find him at this number. Mr Williams, this is …

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Million dollar cocaine bust-up; arrests not included

Scene: Office of the Acting Commissioner of Police Phone rings. Acting Commissioner of Police Stephen Williams: “Good morning, Williams of Scotland Yard speaking. Hee hee.” Assistant Superintendent of Police Joanne Archie: “Good morning, Mr Williams, Joanne here.” Williams: “Ah, Joanne, how are you today? What can I do to you, …

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Warner and Williams have a flying conversation

Scene: Office of Minister of National Security Date: Sometime in July 2012 Phone rings. National Security Minister Jack Warner: “Good afternoon, you’re through to Miami Vice. Hahahaha.” Acting Police Commissioner Stephen Williams: “Minister Warner? Minister Warner, I must talk to you immediately.” Warner: “Yes Stephen, what’s all the excitement about?” …

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Don’t you know… I was a designated driver

Scene: Office of the Minister of National Security. Phone rings… Minister Warner: “Good afternoon, Jack speaking.” Acting COP Williams: “Good afternoon Jack, Stephen here.” Warner: “Ah, Stephen, how are you today?” Williams: “Well, actually, I’ve had the President on the phone to me.” Warner: “Maxwell called you?” Williams: “Yes, and …

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Controversial autopsies and an impending GESTAPO

Scene: Office of the Minister of National Security Phone rings. Jack Warner: “Good morning, President of Trinidad and Tobago speaking.” Fuad Khan: “Erm, sorry, I meant to call Minister Warner.” Warner: “Oh, yes, sorry. Warner speaking.” Khan: “Jack, it’s Fuad. Did you say you were the President?” Warner: “No, no. …

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A PP Christmas with Jack and Kamla

Scene: Cabinet Christmas party (Kamla and Jack small-talk next to the rum punch). Kamla: “Jack, I’m a little disappointed in this year’s party.” Jack: “Yes, I know, I really think we should get rid of Moonilal and Ramlogan. They’re getting to be a little too mannish.” Kamla: “No Jack, I …

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T&T Football praying for kiss of life

Wired868 journalist Filbert Street (to camera): “Today we return to the Port of Spain hospital where six weeks ago, Football was rushed by ambulance, battered and abused and fighting for its life. Although we all believed Football had begun its recovery, today we have been told of a shocking relapse …

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