Scene: Press conference at the Ministry of Sport and Youth Affairs Sport Minister Anil Roberts: “Good day gentlemen. The Sport Ministry is pleased to announce a new tactical plan that will guarantee the Trinidad and Tobago national football team success in the future. I, as a top level coach, and …

The one thing that disappointed me about James Bond films was the bad guys. In the beginning of every film, we were introduced to a super villain of incredible genius, whose detail to planning was revealed in his dastardly plot to rule the world from an immense secret structure manned …

Scene: Office of the Prime Minister Kamla: “Roger, where is everybody? None of my ministers seems to be working lately…” Roger Samuel, Minister of State in the Office of the Prime Minister: “Well, Madam PM, you’ve gagged everybody important.” Kamla: “Yes but we didn’t think about the other unimportant ministers, …

Scene: Post-Cabinet meeting press conference Attorney General Anand Ramlogan: “Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to announce that due to the good governance of the People’s Partnership government, we have been able to save the taxpayers of Trinidad and, especially, our island paradise of Tobago, $0.2 billion that …

Scene: Studios of C News Desha Rambhajan: “Good evening, Trinidad & Tobago, and welcome to C News at 7. In today’s headlines, there are no real headlines. There was a landslide in Diego Martin but nobody was hurt and nobody was killed in a two-vehicle accident near Grand Bazaar. And …

Scene: Interview Room, Central Police Station. Investigating Officer: “So, Mr Shane Gopeesingh-Aleong, can we go over your statement again, please? Now, you said you were working in a soup kitchen all morning helping to feed women who were victims of domestic violence. Is that correct?” Shane: “Yes, sir. You see …

Scene: Ministry of National Security Minister Jack Warner: “It is apparent, of course, that Rowley and his mob are responsible for the high murder rate in this country. I propose that we formulate a plan that will curb their activities and allow the people of Laventille to live in peace” …

Scene: An unknown place of great beauty Jack Warner (looking around, bewildered): “Who are you?” Deity: “I am known by many names, but you would know me as God.” Jack: “God? But you don’t look anything like Morgan Freeman!” God: “Sigh. Ever since “Bruce Almighty” everyone seems disappointed when they …

Scene: Emergency meeting of Cabinet Football Club Kamla: “My friends, we’re here today to discuss the alarming run of defeats that we have suffered over the last few months at the hands of the Opposition.” Anil: “We’ve give the fans stuff to cheer about too, boss.” Kamla: “Yes but that was …

Scene: Port of Spain General Hospital. Wired868 Journalist (to camera): “Today we have seen extraordinary scenes here in Port of Spain, after Trinidad and Tobago Football was found abused and battered at an undisclosed location in the capital. The authorities are treating this as a case of an attempted murder. …

Scene: Prime Minister’s Post-Budget press conference First Journalist: “Prime Minister, it’s been said that the zero VAT rating announcement was just an attempt to distract the public away from the Section 34 scandal. Can you comment on that please?” PM: “That is just PNM propaganda. We’ve dealt with the issue …

Scene: Yellow Brick Road. Four friends and their little pothound are skipping along when suddenly: BANG! A huge cloud of red smoke appears on the road and inside the cloud is a giant face. Kamla: “Oh my God. It’s the wicked witch of Diego Martin West, Keith Rowley.” Rowley: “Yes, my …