Home / Live Wire / Live Wire chronicles: UNC backtracks from ‘blunderdrome’ as ho-hum campaign continues

Live Wire chronicles: UNC backtracks from ‘blunderdrome’ as ho-hum campaign continues

Trinidadians, Lord Maestro once sang, ent really know what they want. It is a truism that never fails to repeat itself.

For instance, Trinbagonians complained for years about the slow response time of lawmen to serious crime. And yuh know when police showed up in Morvant before three men were gunned down and stage-managed the whole ting deyself…

Photo: Lawmen show up early for the killing of Morvant residents Joel Jacobs, Israel Clinton and Noel Diamond on 27 June 2020.

Well, let’s just say you can’t get to a murder earlier than that. Can you?

Anyhow, UNC political leader Kamla Persad-Bissessar has been getting it in her neck ever since she suggested that sunlight will kill Covid. Presumably then, Trinidad and Tobago’s eight deaths occurred in the dead of winter.

At that moment, Covid-19 became a key factor in the 2020 General Elections—replacing the PNM’s spirited rallying cry of: ‘dem wuss than we’!

I mean Dr Keithos came in promising to chase out corruption, yet is Marlene on a charge while Tantee Kamla, Uncle Jack and Anil ‘It Wasn’t Me’ Roberts don’t seem to have as much as a speeding ticket before the local courts. (Warner’s date with the US Department of Justice notwithstanding.)

Yuh trying to tell me that a government with the likes of Glenn Ramadharsingh, Wade Mark and Brent Sancho too sophisticated for the Financial Crime Unit? Cheups. Vicki Boodram must be vex she opened a travel agency—if she had put on a yellow jersey instead, all now she waving from the back of a music truck!

But let’s return to Tantee Kamla and the novel coronavirus. As the recent spike of infections showed that the sun-gazing UNC had lagged behind much of the planet in its response to the highly infectious virus, the former prime minister tried to catch up with some gusto via a seven point ‘Strategic Covid Preparedness & Response Plan’.

She saved the best for last.

Image: Covid-19 Plan B… In case the sunlight ting doh work nah.

Article 7: ‘Creating a Dome around T&T—This measure will be implemented to protect our country from all illegal outsiders and activity. We will have this partly operational within 1 month and fully operation in 6 months’.

Presumably the fine print read: ‘… and we will make the virus pay for it’!

So, Keithos boasting about fighting Covid with ‘science’, eh? Well take science fiction in yuh fe-fi-fo valve!

Mr Live Wire had so many questions.

Had the UNC switched consultants from Cambridge Analytica to Steven Spielberg? Did Tantee know Soca Drome was just a figure of speech? Has Trinidad and Tobago become an episode of The Simpsons?

Sadly, at the first sign of ridicule, Kamla appeared to have thrown in the towel—and the twin island republic lost the chance to become a Netflix series.

Article 7 now reads: ‘Create a virtual safety net around T&T’. The UNC promised to ‘make this fully operational as a priority’.

A dome can be operational in six months but a ‘virtual safety net’ doesn’t have a completion date? Does Tantee know what ‘virtual’ means?

Photo: Simpsons did it…

Other sub-headings in UNC’s ‘Covid-19 Response Plan’ include: ‘maintain closed borders’, ‘establish a repatriation programme’, ‘provide medical support’… In other words: ‘we ent doing so bad, if it ent broke why fix it?’

Turns out that having your minister of health sing back-up for Chief Medical Officer Dr Roshan Parasram is about as good as it gets for the foreseeable future—and it took Kamla five months to figure that out.

With one week to go before the elections, the UNC is running out of time to cure sunstroke. Virtually.

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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5 comments

  1. When Trinbagonians hear the term “Voter-Suppression”,they may instinctively think of it as inherently ‘foreign’, or American to be precise, and it’s racist, anti-african roots in the republican party. However, it turns out, it’s ROOTS are in the UNC and Trinidad & Tobago. According to whistleblowers from the infamous data mining and strategy firm Cambridge Analytica, they got approval from their client (UNC), to specifically target AFRICAN YOUTH in trinidad o demoralize them into not voting at all.That IS extremely racist, african voter suppression via psychological abuse a la incessant youtube and other media commercials! The fact that this is infamously global news and the leader of the party when this occurred in 2010, 2013 & 2015 (Kamla), is still being foisted as a legitimate candidate is an indictment on her party, candidates and supporters.
    Read what people think about this globally

    https://advox.globalvoices.org/2019/08/06/netflixs-the-great-hack-highlights-cambridge-analyticas-role-in-trinidad-tobago-elections/

    https://www.theweek.in/news/entertainment/2019/08/01/the-great-hack-awakens-you-to-chilling-realities-data-weaponisation.html

    https://thewire.in/film/review-netflix-the-great-hack-cambridge-analytica

  2. Article 7 now reads: ‘Create a virtual safety net around T&T’. The UNC promised to ‘make this fully operational as a priority’.
    What in the hell is a virtual security net, you either have real world security or not, the only thing virtual is the internet. Kamla Persad Bissessar cancelled the OPV contract, those 3 vessels would have massively increased T&T’s border security and acted as a deterrent to trafficking, did she continue the contract, did she renegotiate and squeeze out more benefits for T&T from the company and or the UK, no, she cancelled it, as in take the paper and throw it in the next garbage can. Now T&T is being swarmed by Venezuelans, AR15 rifles and drugs. Let’s be crystal clear, there are decisions where a leader can only know AFTER the fact f it is right or wrong, Kamla Persad Bissessar did not need the benefit of hindsight to know that that was a horrible decision. The promises on their website are garbage, not worth the electricity used to broadcast it on the www. Dr Keith Rowley performed well under horrible circumstances, now take that and compare it to Kamla who had a full treasury and no covid 19. You want to destroy all the progress, you want to kick TT down the drain then go and vote UNC, but don’t complain when they literally DO IT AGAIN. She already promised to restructure the Ministry of National security, what you think that really is about, it’s the same thing as with the OPV’s. She is getting ready to do it again, do not let her do it Trinidad and Tobago. The next 5 years will decide TT’s next 20 years, be smart people.

    • You are on the ball here. Don’t forget who played a
      huge role in creating those ‘horrible circumstances’. Now they are hoping that we all get a big dose of amnesia. Infrastructure was their mantra 2010-15 guess what, they back at it again. The proposed victims now UTC and NIB. NGC is no longer in vogue them get clean out in their first go around. Hopefully patriots will step up in an attempt to save us from a party that clearly is not about the interest of all citizens.

    • Let us be honest and earnest…even if you throw out the fiscal and governance issues, a prospective PM, SHOULD have a sense of class and decorum. Kamla’s statements about “blank” and “oreo”, ALONE , SHOULD disqualify her from suitability as a PM. Is anyone willing to be honest about the fact that Dr. Rowley’s 5 years in office has neither produced a SINGLE personal or other scandal, equivalent in magnitude, to the TENS of scandals around kamla’s first year in office ALONE! Not a single one! What about her behaviour after the 2015elections? Not congratulating the winner? Suing the EBC ? What about the behaviour of her supporters? N***** this and N***** that…i haven’t forgotten!