“They have always known and always feared how powerful sexuality is. Your sexuality represents your understanding and your choice of expression of your most intimate and powerful sexual instincts.
“[…] So they tell you how to walk, sit, stand, how to bump, grind and dry hump, how much you should flaunt and how much to cover, how to get some and how to lay trap, sometimes with big belly hoping for ah wedding ring…”
In the following guest column to Wired868, contributor Alana Abdool suggests the importance of ‘proper’ sex education to minors:
Children, let me tell allyuh some things about this thing they call sex and sex education. If the preacher, the teacher, the politician, yuh mammie and yuh pappie want to control or manipulate the information you getting about sex, it’s usually for the same damn reason.
Sex is a primal act, a primal response. It’s an animal instinct built into you and is as fundamental to your sexual nature as your need for food.
No one wants you to understand it for what it is and they will talk about it as if you are not a part of the conversation. As if you didn’t already have a sense, simply from observing them, the dynamics of sex and sex education.
And they really don’t want you to understand what they themselves through successive generations of cultural stigma have turned sex into. Sex is now a tool. A tool for power. A tool for control.
Sex can be used as leverage if you are interested in bargaining. It can be used as a weapon to hurt, exploit or subdue. It can be an act of defiance. It can be a drug for escape. Sex is a trade. Sex is just business.
Yuh ever hear the expression ‘sex is overrated’? They lied. Sex well done is damn good. Once you get a taste of it, you will always want more. It’s not sex that’s overrated you know, it’s sexuality. They are overrating and mis-rating sexuality. They have always known and always feared how powerful sexuality is. Your sexuality represents your understanding and your choice of expression of your most intimate and powerful sexual instincts.
Sadly children, sexuality is almost never owned by an individual. Almost never understood and the right to free expression is almost always oppressed. They manipulate your heart, your mind, your emotions and your body. They prey on your ignorance, your sense of shame, your desires, your sense of dignity, your right to be comfortable in your own skin and your right to discover your sexuality on your terms in your own time.
Because at the end of the day you are just another sexual statistic to them; of STDs, of sexual abuse, another notch on someone’s belt, sexually controlled, sexually conformed, monogamous, polygamous, LGBTQIA, promiscuous, priest, pimp or prostitute.
So they tell you how to walk, sit, stand, how to bump, grind and dry hump, how much you should flaunt and how much to cover, how to get some and how to lay trap, sometimes with big belly hoping for ah wedding ring. And oh gosh, how to wait and wait and wait.
But children, allyuh ever ask yourselves, for what? Or why? If allyuh do everything de leaders or de media tell allyuh to do, allyuh feel allyuh any closer to owning your sexuality? Is there anything that you are taught or given that takes you down the path to understanding and exploring your body, your emotions and learning how to take charge of that sexuality?
Your sexuality will define how you express your desires during sex, who and when you choose to share it with and how you deal with the consequences of that shared expression.
Children, if nothing else, let nothing stop you from seeking out as much accurate information from as many sources as possible and do not underestimate the importance of pursuing this.
Do not be ashamed or afraid. These are the years and the conversations that can shape an empowered and fulfilling sexual future. Think slowly, deliberately and carefully about what your sexuality means to you.
Because at the end of it all, no one can carry the emptiness, the regret and the consequences of misinformed or uncontrolled sexuality or sex—except you.