“Short of attaching a resume, which can too often be interpreted literally (thereby demonstrating my inadequacy for the post), I shall outline my experience and qualifications in my own words…”
The following Application for the position of UN Ambassador was forwarded to Wired868 by G Balisier, who suggested that his record speaks for itself and ought to be seriously considered:
To the Honourable Dr Keith Rowley (Uncle Keith, if I may):
Please find enclosed my application for the post of UN Ambassador.
Short of attaching a resume, which can too often be interpreted literally (thereby demonstrating my inadequacy for the post), I shall outline my experience and qualifications in my own words:
- I am a lawyer. Which means I can assume any position in Government, even Minister of Health or Minister of Education! UN Ambassador is therefore clearly within my ‘bailiwick’ (see how I slipped legal jargon into this letter? Pure genius! I am clearly well suited for Geneva).
- I am the founder of Balisier OBservers Of the Land (“BOBOL”). A “horticultural society” (wink) I created last night, on Facebook, to commemorate all things ‘related to’ the balisier. To date, the group has 12 likes, spanning 5 continents. This is a fact.
- I have 30 years ‘international experience’ in Switzerland. Ever since my childhood, I have watched football and the Olympics. And, according to Wikipedia, both organizations are based in Switzerland. This is a fact.
- I have also ‘done business or been involved with’ over 190 countries to date. Last night, I used Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. All three sites have users in over 190 countries. By posting to those sites and/or liking certain comments, I interacted with much of the world. This is a fact.
- I also incorporated a company (Progressive National Manufacturing Inc). This shows that I am worldly and experienced. As you know, not everyone can incorporate a company. It takes diligence, effort and skill.
In sum, I trust that I have demonstrated my experience for the post. As you may know, UN Ambassador is a senior role that requires an incredible amount of diplomacy, tact and life experience. I would hate for the position to be occupied by persons ‘currying’ political favour (no pun intended). Let’s not repeat the sins of the past.
Editor’s Note: This application was not done by Mr Live Wire but passed to Wired868 on the condition of anonymity. The author does not wish to be known as he would like his application to be judged strictly on merit.