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Honeypot Rottweiler and Hindu/Krystian PM; Bas and Patos talk Elections 2015

Scene: Residence of former Prime Minister Patrick Manning. His old Parliamentary colleague, fellow Presentation College, San Fernando alumni and ex-Prime Minister Basdeo Panday takes a seat.

Patrick Manning: What would you like to drink old friend?

Basdeo Panday: Ahmm… Gimme a Carib there, old man. Ahmm… Stiff and cold like that Corpse party!

Photo: Former Trinidad and Tobago Prime Ministers Basdeo Panday (left) and Patrick Manning have a chat at a Presentation College reunion. (Copyright Taran Rampersad/Flckr)
Photo: Former Trinidad and Tobago Prime Ministers Basdeo Panday (left) and Patrick Manning have a chat at a Presentation College reunion.
(Copyright Taran Rampersad/Flckr)

Manning: (Haha) I’m a Stag man myself these days.

Panday: You mean Keithos still have you green like that bottle?

Manning: That’s not funny, Basdeo. That’s not funny. At all, at all, at all.

Panday: I was only pulling your chain, Patos. I know how you feel. I left a rising sun; but that set years ago. It’s best they put up a disco ball instead! Women sneaking in young boys? Marijuana smoking? But it’s a damn frat house?! I heard they tried to get Destra to sing in a party there once… And she and all say she ent so loose!

Manning: (Shakes head) Bark at my dog and ignore my cat, Basdeo?! Is that we’ve come to, my good man?! Cavorting on the streets with that young girl? I haven’t seen anything so crude since Benjai come on stage in his jockey shorts!

Panday: Steups. At least you know what Keithos likes. From the stories I hear, I wouldn’t know what to lock up when Anand and Moonilal in the area… Fuad Khan doesn’t know what missing animals to investigate if you asked me.

Manning: Somebody needs to sit that Rottweiler down for a talk about the birds and the bees. That was no bird he was embarrassing himself over. And what was all that nonsense about bees and honey pots? He trying to replace Kamla or Winnie the Pooh?!

Photo: But wha de...
Photo: But wha de…

Panday: Patos, you are letting emotion cloud your judgment my old friend. Look at the real issues… You didn’t see Kamla in that TV debate the other night talking to herself? I swear it’s not public relations that woman needs… It’s either a psychologist or an exorcist!

Manning: Yes, yes. I remember when Shelly Dass interviewed me. There were dimples and blushes flashing all over the place. That interview was so charming you could watch it with Barry White playing in the background. That’s old school my good man…

Did you see Morgan Job in that oversized suit he borrowed, holding Kamla’s hand like they’re on the Love Boat? He turned Krystian too? Even I wanted to take a smoke after that nonsense.

Panday: These young pretenders eh Patos. But what we will do old chap? Remember when I said if you see me and a lion fighting, to feel sorry for the lion?

Manning: Of course!

Panday: I took some young relatives to the zoo last week and we passed by a lion. I tell him: Rush in if you feel you is man!

Manning: And what happened Basdeo?

Panday: Sigh. The lion steups and say he leaving me for the corbeaux.

Manning: Hahaha. The world’s changing my good man. You have to keep you know. These days I get so much of my football news online with Wired868.

Photo: Marijuana?! Home!!!
Photo: Marijuana?! Home!!!

Panday: I can’t oppose you there Patos. I go on the 868 every day! In fact, I will take a nap now so tomorrow will come quick; and I can read more of Mr Live Wire’s political satire. Put me in the Calder Hart guest room; wake me up when it is over.

Manning: (Upset) What?! My Hazel only serves breakfastes for one Prime Minister. Don’t try that. You best remember what constituency you come from. A wise man said once that streams flow into rivers and rivers flow into seas…

Panday: (Sneers) That’s insulting. That’s insulting…

 

Editor’s Note: This column is pure satire and all conversations are faked; no offence is meant at parties named although they probably deserve it!

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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31 comments

  1. Two of the biggest jokers under the sun…..besides all the others on either side of the benches in parliament, of course.

  2. Hannibal Najjar

    I do see that being at the core, Miss Behave but, for heaven’s sake, a leader’s legacy, as it is with coaches and teachers, is to make and leave better that which they have met. Indeed, it must be in the heart of a quality leader to pass on a sound technical, tactical, and strategic functional operation/entity whereby, it’s seen to operate as with just turning a key. How on earth can they operate as if nothing after them matters. I see it the same way with our current PM. And, Keith Rowley better get on assignment too because that would seriously disappoint me.

  3. What chaos that will be! God help us!

  4. Hannibal Najjar

    Ms. Nelson’s comments are spot on – and that is in many ways a direct result of the death of the Calypsonian, as we knew them in the past and as with today’s comedians worldwide. “In we days”, politicians faced a heavy lyrical and factual account of their performances all during each Carnival and right on to the next term of elections – and too boot, in running on the radio all through each, next Carnival. Now, is, “……… raise yuh hand in de year if yuh wanto ???????”

  5. Lasana Liburd u is d greatest yes!!!!

  6. These two old men need to know their times expired……………..

  7. Patos telling Panday The ILP would be the opposition and Dr Rowely would be the Prime Minister … Lol ..

  8. The grand old guard oui, good stuff as usual man, very entertaining indeed

  9. Lasana Liburd ah forward it to Bas, eh…. Look trouble now! Hahaha

  10. lol good one.. truth be told, they are very good friends in real life

  11. Pres. School mates. Men with old time tricks.

  12. Even Dessie say she eh so loose

  13. Both men look quite shocked at something ! Can it be the newest party on the block…KAMLA 2015 ?? Don’t say ! ; YEAH ! 😉

  14. Gaiven Clairmont

    Lorl so funny, great job as usual man

  15. “That’s not funny, Basdeo. That’s not funny. At all, at all, at all”

  16. Allyuh bring ting nah man Lasana Liburd and Andrew Alden Friday!!!!

  17. That’s cool, Lasana.
    We still have stuff inside…. Shhhhhhhh ?

  18. “What?! My Hazel only serves breakfastes for one Prime Minister.” oh lort!!!!!

  19. I’m seriously silly you see. Lol.

  20. I also love the Hindu/Krystian PM. Don’t know how you come up with these things

  21. On my way to south and I’m in tears here. Love it Bas say he ain’t know what to lock up when Anand and Moonilal around.

  22. Initially did it for a YouTube skit like the Warner v Oliver bit. But I took long to release it. So just published instead. Sorry Andrew Alden Friday ??

  23. OMG! Disco ball and Shelly Dass blushes and dimples with Barry White…*ded*.
    But this convo too good but too short eh. Wake me up when its over…haha!

  24. “”And what was all that nonsense about bees and honey pots? He trying to replace Kamla or Winnie the Pooh?!””

    Lasana Liburd???????????

  25. These days, the people are taking the politicians for a joke, and the comedians seriously.

  26. Hannibal Najjar

    Of the many things they both have in common, the one thing that soars above the rest is that they both failed in the main leadership skill of great leaders – recruiting and raising leaders!