Live Wire

Heads of the national Primary School Principals Association and PTA renewed calls for teachers and students to get the entire Carnival week off with an appropriately shortened July/August holiday to match. The teaching service is bracing for an upsurge in applicants at its training college—as well as more standard five …

Prisons’ Officers Association President Rajkumar Ramroop sacked his General Secretary Burton Hill for “colluding with the enemy”; by which he meant the Public Service Commission. Wired868 understands that prisoners are urging both sides to put their differences aside for the sake of a harmonious living environment. More from Wired868 Free …

The ERHA board is reportedly furious over Health Minister Dr Fuad Khan’s reinstatement of the allegedly 20-something-year-old Stacy Harricharan as CEO although the post supposedly demands 10 years’ experience as a senior manager. Fortunately for Harricharan, who presumably bought aspirin for her school nurse as a teenager, she did not …

Magistrate Alicia Chankar gave thief and drug addict, Curtis Bailey, a three month prison sentence for stuffing cheese into his pants crotch with the hope of selling it later. Presumably, Bailey’s girlfriend would not have been pleased with him either. Wired868 accepts that blue cheese is an acquired taste. More …

Edwin Glasgow QC is the latest in a line of Queen’s Counsels who have found employment on local shores; he will lead investigations into the cause of the collapse of the HCU. At this rate, Wired868 expects government enquiries to soon overtake Carnival as the top draw for wealthy European …

Wild BBM rumours failed to sink calypso legend, David Rudder, but it left the Ash Wednesday cooldown severely wounded as patrons shied away from Maracas after reading alerts of a fictitious shooting spree at the popular beach. In the Middle East, Blackberry Messenger was credited for helping topple two dictators; …

Machel Montano is ready to be named “Ambassador Fete” as the soca star wants the title of official cultural ambassador to be added to his $2.5 million Soca and Groovy Monarch cash prizes and his Road March crown in an all-conquering 2012 Carnival season. In other news, it is alleged …

Calypso icon David Rudder survived another attempted murder by gossip this Carnival after he was forced to quell rumours of his death for the third successive festive season. Rudder told the media to please dismiss any such talk of his demise next Carnival Tuesday; unless he really is dead. Either …

Jamaica PM Portia Simpson-Miller demanded an immediate resolution to the impasse between star batsman Chris Gayle and the WICB. And, if that wasn’t enough, the PM promised to “follow up” once necessary. Ahmm, thanks. WICB blasted the PM for overstepping her mark. Wired868 believes she ran out of hot air …

Port of Spain police celebrated “very few” reports of lost children in the capital during 2012 Carnival celebrations after taking the radical step of asking parents to properly watch their children at public events. Police sources raved about the Police Commissioner’s successful 21st Century Policing Initiative; naysayers credited common sense. …

The Police Commissioner revealed that the controversial light airplane was used for Carnival 2012–he described it as “a free car in the sky”–to help the police respond quickly to incidents. He did not give details as to the benefits provided by his aerial mobile patrol, which costs as much as …

Chaguanas West MP and ex-FIFA VP Jack Warner promised to pay $1 million in prize money for the Chaguanas Carnival Committee by March 3. What could go wrong? In related news, Wired868 was unreliably informed that the “Soca Warriors” and TTFF will pay mas in Chaguanas for Carnival 2013. More …