Live Wire

A satirical spin on Trinidad and Tobago news stories

Poldier Griffith plans National Security costume party

New National Security Minister Gary Griffith is set to add some much needed swag to his post as the man without a political party stressed yesterday that he intends to make fancy dress parties the first order of business. “You will see less of me in a suit,” Griffith told …

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Ramlogans’ attorneys batter Express ladies

If you are squeamish about seeing women being firmly put in their place, please look away now. Because those Trinidad Express ladies sure got what was coming to them. Anika Gumbs-Sandiford apparently spent the last week tiptoeing around Attorney General Anand Ramlogan; an investigative reporter can never be too careful, …

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Seetahal catches Beetham bug

An eruption of fury from Beetham Gardens has again captivated and repulsed Trinidad and Tobago over the past week as the debate raged over lawlessness, police force, newspaper ethics and the nation’s attitude to its angry, poorer class. Thankfully, on this occasion no one threatened to shoot Beetham residents and …

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Gary the Gunslinger advises self into National Security post

Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar told the nation today that she was advised to appoint former Defence Force Captain Gary Griffith as her fourth National Security Minister in three years. It might not have been the most impartial advice the Prime Minister ever received. Her advisor on national …

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Moyes leaves Everton a four million pound tip

New Manchester United manager David Moyes finally pulled off a notable signing and it was arguably £4 million (TT$40) too much and a month too late. Moyes always made his interest in his former Everton midfielder Marouane Fellaini clear. And he could have him for the start of pre-season training …

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Guardian pulls “a Moyes” on transfer deadline day

The global transfer window has made fools of many a football club; the looming deadline calls for nerves of steel, meticulous planning and, most of all, shrewd negotiating skill. Of course, not everyone has it. While new Manchester United boss David Moyes chased a largely unknown, scrawny 24-year-old kid from …

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Silence of the lambs: Swimming’s soundless scream for help?

Trinidad and Tobago starts its campaign in the 2013 FINA World Junior Championships today in Dubai and head coach Franz Huggins suggested that Jonathan Ramkissoon, Joshua Romany, Dylan Carter, Tyla Martin and Kristin Julien might represent the two island republic’s most gifted junior swim team. Ever. Naturally, team manager Dean Romany …

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Police Commissioners abuse statistics and union leader

Acting Commissioner of Police Stephen Williams said yesterday that he was hurt by criticism of the nation’s police work. Although, possibly, not as hurt as the dozens of persons who his lawmen detained without evidence and released, without charge, four days later. Williams explained that “from a policing perspective, using …

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Good God: Would T&T politicians follow papal example?

Pope Emeritus, who was born Joseph Ratzinger, grew up to become Pope Benedict XVI but then opted for a final name change before his death, has allegedly revealed the truth behind his stunning resignation as Pope. “God told me to do it,” the ex-Pope supposedly told an unnamed visitor, according …

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Behind the iron throne: The Cabal descends into chaos

The Lady Prime Minister summons her closest advisors, called the “Cabal”, to discuss control of the iron throne and a threat in Middle Trinidad from Lord Jack, who has risen from sure death like a phoenix; nay, a cockroach. Lord Anand, the Master of Coin, tries to assist her with a mathematical conundrum.    …

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