Calypso icon David Rudder survived another attempted murder by gossip this Carnival after he was forced to quell rumours of his death for the third successive festive season. Rudder told the media to please dismiss any such talk of his demise next Carnival Tuesday; unless he really is dead. Either …

Jamaica PM Portia Simpson-Miller demanded an immediate resolution to the impasse between star batsman Chris Gayle and the WICB. And, if that wasn’t enough, the PM promised to “follow up” once necessary. Ahmm, thanks. WICB blasted the PM for overstepping her mark. Wired868 believes she ran out of hot air …

Port of Spain police celebrated “very few” reports of lost children in the capital during 2012 Carnival celebrations after taking the radical step of asking parents to properly watch their children at public events. Police sources raved about the Police Commissioner’s successful 21st Century Policing Initiative; naysayers credited common sense. …

The Police Commissioner revealed that the controversial light airplane was used for Carnival 2012–he described it as “a free car in the sky”–to help the police respond quickly to incidents. He did not give details as to the benefits provided by his aerial mobile patrol, which costs as much as …

Chaguanas West MP and ex-FIFA VP Jack Warner promised to pay $1 million in prize money for the Chaguanas Carnival Committee by March 3. What could go wrong? In related news, Wired868 was unreliably informed that the “Soca Warriors” and TTFF will pay mas in Chaguanas for Carnival 2013. More …

Iwer George is still sore at Machel Montano and slammed Soca Monarch judges for placing Montano first although he supposedly went over the stipulated time-limit and used fireworks on stage. Iwer is now only needs a rhythm and chorus for his 2013 Carnival tune. More from Wired868 Political commentary rules …

HCU President Harry Harnarine informed the Commission of Enquiry on Valentine’s Day that he had been dumped by his attorney and would now represent himself. Attorney Farid Scoon apparently said he was busy after Harnarine failed to get the government to pay for his legal representation. Harnarine is rumoured to …

2012 Soca Chutney monarch KI endured a sour note when an armed assailant disrupted his victory party before being shot and apprehended. Wired868 can confirm that the spoil sport was not Ravi B. More from Wired868 Oops… I did it again Fabien James, 23, attempted to rob Soca Chutney monarch …

Police Commissioner Dwayne Gibbs explained that the nine lawmen sent to Newsday and the home of journalist Andre Bagoo were “peace officers” who are “not sanctioned to go above or beyond the legal authorities vested in our Constitution.” Citizens are urged not to confuse them with regular policemen who apparently …

Works Minister Jack Warner filed an affidavit in October 2011 that claimed he had accounting statements related to the 2006 World Cup and was happy to produce them for the courts. Last week, he suggested that was a flaming lie. High Court Judge Devindra Rampersad should determine which Warner is …

Suspended Integrity Commission Deputy Chairman Gladys Gafoor, who last week said she never heard of reporter Andre Bagoo or the Newsday, was accused by the Office of the President of deceiving the press when she claimed she knew nothing of her suspension. In response, Gafoor may or may not have …

Kelly-Ann Baptiste, 25, and her family missed Wednesday’s gala function at Queen’s Hall, St Ann’s while the National Amateur Athletic Association (NAAA) and the Sports Foundation disputed who had responsibility to contact the talented sprinter and 2011 Sportswoman of the Year. The NAAA officials were present to collect the Jeffrey …