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Mr Live Wire had a bad dream last night. He dreamt: that the Prime Minister just started the sixth year of a five-year term in office, the country’s Attorney General is so uninspiring that the People’s Partnership once replaced him as minister with Jamal “I am stupid” Mohammed…
That ILP leader Jack Warner admitted his party’s green colours were meant for camouflage, and he has hired Makandal Daaga, Winston Dookeran and President Anthony Carmona for hide and seek tips.
And everyone was so busy discussing Caitlyn Jenner’s transformation that no one noticed Roodal Moonilal left the supper table looking like Sherman Klump and came to breakfast as Heidi Klum.
Or is that former super model Heidi Klum?
But then Live Wire checked his sock draw, saw a Trinidad and Tobago passport and realised it was probably all true.
No surprise then that popular US-based English comic John Oliver, the satirical host of Last Week Tonight, announced that he purchased five minutes of airtime on CCN TV6 from 9 pm on Tuesday June 9 to make an address to the nation. A TV6 source confirmed the deal too.
Oliver’s broadcast, “John Oliver: The mittens of disapproval are on”, is a comical retort to Warner’s address last Wednesday entitled: “Jack Warner: The gloves are off.”
“Apparently you can just buy time on TV there to say whatever you like,” said Oliver, to raucous laughter from his audience.
The funniest part about Oliver’s claim, sadly, is that it is true.
TV6 recently showed the lifeless body of former Security Minister Martin Joseph—wearing only a red shorts—on a loop during its news broadcast, the Trinidad Guardian carried a full page advertisement that compared activist Wayne Kublalsingh to a lizard and the Trinidad Mirror, with a poignant middle finger to media watch groups, published a photograph of a naked yet aroused corpse on its front page.
Now, even foreign media houses are flying in to screw with us.
Tourists once streamed in to Piarco International Airport to join in our Carnival or to watch Brian Lara bat. These days, it is “corruption tourism” that fills up the swanky Port of Spain hotels, as journalists come to cover Warner’s woeful impersonation of Dr Richard Kimble.
Justice Minister Prakash Ramadhar yesterday claimed that Warner—the PP’s former acting Prime Minister—had “really polluted the stream of the politics of this nation”, which is especially funny as his COP party was launched at Warner’s Centre of Excellence.
But, as 21st century philosopher Chris Brown pointed out: “these hoes ain’t loyal.”
Warner served as Works Minister and National Security Minister for the People’s Partnership Government before his resignation in 2013.
(Courtesy FIFA.com)
And, mind you, the COP chose the Centre of Excellence—which had already been flagged as a controversial property by ex-FIFA general secretary Michel Zen-Ruffinen—just months after Warner became the first executive committee member found guilty by FIFA for violating its code of ethics, after he tried to force Trinidad and Tobago football fans to buy 2006 World Cup tickets at more than a 300 percent mark up.
Let me repeat: Warner was so corrupt that even FIFA felt he was making them look bad; and the People’s Partnership made him National Security Minister and acting Prime Minister.
If there are patriots left in Trinidad and Tobago, you certainly won’t find them in the Cabinet. It is every man for himself these days.
No wonder Moonilal won’t share his Nutty Professor formula with Parliamentary colleague, Stephen Cadiz.
Meanwhile, Warner’s slide into farce continues. Once, he ate with prime ministers and presidents and offered advice to Queen Elizabeth on England’s World Cup bid.
Now, he is crossing swords with late night comics like Keith Olbermann and John Oliver.
There was some news from the San Fernando Magistrates Court that might make Warner sit up straight today. Security guard Allan Jones finally appeared before Magistrate Natalie Diop for kicking a man in the head, a whooping ten years ago!
Jones said the matter was postponed over 40 times and the decade-long case cost him just TT$15,000 in legal fees.
What does that have to do with Warner?
Well, UNC financiers Ish Galbaransingh and Steve Ferguson were able to hold off extradition with the argument that they were being wanted for the same crime in Trinidad.
Ex-FIFA VP Jack Warner wants some love too.
So could Warner also argue that, were he to be charged in Trinidad, the High Court should block his extradition until such a legal matter was completed?
Mr Live Wire has no idea what the legal minds would say about such a theoretical case. But, just in case, if Warner shows up in Parliament sporting a football boots and a crazy glint in his eye, Ramadhar better watch his Prakash!
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The Wolf of Woodford Square!
But Nicole we are all Trinidadians here and everyone obviously knows who John Oliver is.
You took that comment way too seriously.
We as in we in Trinidad. Smh
Hahaha
No girl, when you said “we” I naturally assumed you meant you worked there too.
I’m just surprised that TV6 would sell Oliver air time.
Sigh. Like Kamla train you Vernal? Once yuh don’t agree with a position yuh hadda be one ah dem. smh
Vernal, my friend. You took the words out my mouth..! I hope he excoriates them. Roast with no oil!
Brian you make me lol for real!!
Nice!
Sorry Nicole I didn’t mean to offend.
I honestly didn’t know you worked for TV6.
Yep. Cuz we still swing on vines and wear grass skirts so how in creation would TV6 have heard of John Oliver. Smh
Nicole Ulerie I see your steups and raise you a steups of my own! LOL
I’m willing to ante up for Mr. Live Wire to purchase 5 minutes of air time on UNC3 TV.
Tell the President ante up his ill gotten housing allowance nah? We could do a daily wired vid blog with that.
I feel so important to have stalkers. Lol
What a dam shame . TV6 ….. Alyuh hongry….. Dam….
You hit the nail on the head Julia … there is a fundamental difference between professional journalists and the ‘hongry ass wordsmiths’ who eat ah food in what passes for media in T&T. That’s why Lasana had to start his own press and John Oliver is able to buy 5 mins of prime time on tv6. Keep on truckin’ Lasana … ! A few more real journalists and we can stop the triumph of evil.
steups @ Vernal Damion Cadogan and that dotish suspicion
This guy is dumb.. Sigh… I pity ignorant people.. Comparing ish to warner
I suspect TV6 didn’t realize who John Oliver is anymore that Jack realized what The Onion was.
Remember Guardian’s ad: http://wired868.com/2014/10/19/guardian-angel-lifts-skirt-again-paper-calls-kublalsingh-a-reptile/
SMH
Of course they could. But it is not in the DNA or media houses to say “no” to money. Now they have to cross their fingers that he doesn’t lampoon them on their own station!
follow up questions Lasana Liburd, why would they sell him the time? couldn’t they say no?
Oh dear 🙁
Lasana you could do a stint writing for him.
Alicia Crichlow-Regis, I confirmed with TV6 that he did buy airtime.
The countdown to June 17 is on right now yes. I beyond fed up
Both!
Did they really sell the airtime Vernal Damion Cadogan or is it a comedienne being silly?
Bring it on.
No way Kendall! Every country has its scamps & neer do wells…I am proud to be a Trini no matter what…Look at Kishorn yesterday…we also have other POSITIVE things goin on.
Look thing, everybody making us the pappy show of the moment. We didn’t rise nah, we reach!
Brian – Better that than admitting you live in the same country as JW.
At this rate, I will have to start telling people I am from Jamaica.
Corruption Tourism. Interesting
“Apparently you can just buy time on TV there to say whatever you like,” said Oliver, to raucous laughter from his audience. The funniest part about Oliver’s claim, sadly, is that it is true.
Laughin we to scorn, but we just can’t enough eh. . .
Yeah the Integrity Commission said not only is it finish with the Emailgate investigation, it’s also finished being an Integrity Commission!
The gloves might be on or off but it seems like the mittens are definitely on. My longtime favourite comedian vs …….Jackiepakie Yao.
…particularly when Mr. Warner is doing such a good job of denigrating himself and needs no assistance from anyone else to do so 😉
IS THE EMAIL GATE MATTER FINISHED? What about the part of the Justice Department letter that speaks about a CD that “can be used for investigation and prosecution of those others”with genuine email addresses? Is one the prosecutors in the JW case the same cut and paste of “PRISONGATE who is also reported to have received lots of large briefs. Prisongete finish too? There is so much happening , I am having trouble keeping up and may missed some news reports.
Not only Jack. Rambachan saying they have a “clean? Govt. Well anything will be clean if it has been “laundered” several times. Even FIFA can take lessons from them
this sort of tabloid journalism is not welcomed ,he should not be allowed to denigrate mr warner
Lasana I’d just like to add that this entire episode highlights the difficulty in separating sport from politics or most things even. It’s all geopolitics baby :-)!
I have to come good Vernal Damion Cadogan. Jack satirizing himself these days to put me out of business!
If you doh laff, you reel cry. Lasana, excellent take on it all.
Well I was wondering if no one else noticed the svelte look. I guess he has to match the house
Imagine TV6 actually sold John Oliver airtime to lampoon TV6 selling airtime to Jack Warner so that he could promise to reveal his former cabinet colleagues’ connection to the FIFA scandal.
“Warner was so corrupt that even FIFA felt he was making them look bad; and the People’s Partnership made him National Security Minister and acting Prime Minister.”…What more can you say about that??
Lasana how yuh making out soldier?
It looking like the absurdity that os Trinidad will soon render the genre of satire obsolete.
Did you say Caitlyn versus Roodal? Not this hour Lasana Liburd! LOL
Ting to cry you makin people laugh? To quote the man, allyuh real good, yes!
Hey, tell, whomever that is working around and about this Heidi Klum’s photo, that he needs shin guards and much more armory to get past the expected attacking lineup and strategy that would be coming! This is a stunning photo but not for the expected battles that lie ahead.
“Let me repeat: Warner was so corrupt that even FIFA felt he was making them look bad; and the People’s Partnership made him National Security Minister and acting Prime Minister.”
I still did not get that and never will…how could they have been that stupid? But then I remember…criminals are stupid…and they just happen to believe everyone else is as stupid as they are….or maybe they were just desperate for money….by any means necessary…the stupidity continues at the expense of the population…..
But…tick…tick…tick…their time is coming to an end….8 more days…and a few hours…this nightmare is ending…God-willing!
Jack himself should have not vied for any front-line positions – many thought of, discussed, and wrote about this also. We could have easily have acted in the expected fiduciary manner on behalf of our nation and national security – that is one of the warranties we expect in the products and services responsible leadership.