Crime Watch burgled: Warner nabs Alleyne’s co-host

Trinidad and Tobago’s mushrooming crime problem took a turn for the worse today with news that flamboyant pseudo-crime fighter Ian Alleyne has been burgled. Once again, politics is being blamed for the blatant disregard to law and order.

Alleyne tried to put on a brave face on the sad situation in an interview with the Trinidad Guardian newspaper today.

“Life goes on,” Alleyne told the Guardian. “I will still get the job done.”

If only attorney Om Lalla could be so easily forgotten by the thousands of Crime Watch fans.

Photo: Attorney Om Lalla (right) with former TTFF general secretary Richard Groden.
Photo: Attorney Om Lalla (right) with former TTFF general secretary Richard Groden.

Who would smile approvingly the next time Alleyne says “allegedly” on air? Who would pretend to give free legal guidance to the dozens of petty criminals that will pass through the Crime Watch set before Christmas?

Up until the time of publication, National Security Minister Gary Griffith had not handed in his resignation but surely Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar would need a scapegoat for this scandal with a local government election looming.

The People’s Partnership pawned the blimp, reneged on the OPVs and saddled Trinidad and Tobago with an acting Commissioner of Police when gangsters are certainly not acting. But now they cannot even keep a pretend crime fighting unit together?

Inevitably, the source of the People’s Partnership’s latest embarrassment was none other than Chaguanas West MP and ILP interim leader, Jack Warner. And, not for the first time, Warner is unlikely to face prosecution for the crime.

Warner, who has kept Lalla in his pocket for years next to Oliver Camps, Anil Roberts, Winston “Gypsy” Peters and “The Original De Fosto Himself”, claimed at a public meeting last month that Alleyne was offered the post of National Security Minister during a three-way conversation with Attorney General Anand Ramlogan and Persad-Bissessar.

Photo: Crime Watch host Ian Alleyne.
Photo: Crime Watch host Ian Alleyne.

It is not the first time that Warner made bizarre and mischievous three-way allegations about the Attorney General.

But Alleyne swallowed the bait and, rather than use his own Crime Watch programme or the CNC3 news, chose to distance himself from the People’s Partnership by appearing on the People’s Partnership platform to refute the allegations.

Because surely if Alleyne really was a favoured child of the People’s Partnership, he would never be dumb enough to use the People’s Partnership platform as if it was an open mike at The Yard. Or something like that.

Warner promptly ordered Lalla to stop playing with Alleyne. Unconfirmed reports claim that the former FIFA vice-president insisted the attorney was “a gift” and all will be revealed in due course.

Mr Live Wire believes Persad-Bissessar should show her compassion to thousands of Crime Watch viewers and potential voters by promptly offering Alleyne the one man versatile enough to fit in any chair and capable of making inactivity look stylish.

Senator Emmanuel “Hurricane” George, Crime Watch needs a number two.

More from Wired868
No, Faris, ‘superfluous’ is NOT a compliment; Live Wire picks up the pieces after GG judgment

This week, Trinidad and Tobago witnessed a breathtaking lack of administrative foresight accompanied by a paralysed executive branch with a Read more

The Case of Superballs: Mr Live Wire cracks cryptic code of Nicki Minaj

(Scene: A private room. A mainstream reporter, whose identity has been protected to avoid her being trolled half to death, Read more

Mr Live Wire: Dem is people to watch!

When long holiday reach, yet ah certain fellah breaking his neck to get to work—dem is people to watch; When Read more

‘If thy right hand offendeth, pluck it out!’ Griffith in damage control after Express exposé

Commissioner of Police Gary Griffith responded promptly to allegations against his ‘right hand man’ and head of the Trinidad and Read more

Does $22 million cash minus Con-vunt accent equate 1% status? Live Wire considers La Horquetta ‘sou sou’ surprise

Whose hand it is boi? The Trinidad and Tobago Police Service (TTPS) allegedly joined a La Horquetta pyramid scheme—coined the Read more

Why Venezuela ‘borderline jam session’ could be Keithos’ biggest challenge since Gumbs

There is no denying it now, people damn vexed. Last night, Trinis offered the first visible sign of dissent against Read more

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

Check Also

Noble: Is Griffith positioning himself as T&T’s J Edgar Hoover? Or Donald Trump?

“A lawless, indisciplined and corrupt nation cannot fight crime.” Pastor Clive Dottin, The People’s Roundtable, …

One comment

  1. Poor Ian, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.

    Ian Alleyne for sale. Text your $10 to 1-800-sellout

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.