One man hitting a post has not provoked so much interest since Minister Two Pull tried to roll himself a smoke. The “Samba Boys” go through; but it was a survival story as Mauricio Pinilla and Gonzalo Jaro both hit the frame of the goalmouth. There was no “joga bonito” …
Read More »Cheerio Cristiano and happy slapping Ghana
The Ghana football team spent the last 24 hours before yesterday’s crucial World Cup group match scouring the skies for signs of their $3 million dollar plane, cussing out its coach and slapping team officials. It was just enough to get noticed by the international media on a day when …
Read More »Exclusive: Minister Two Pull launches FIFA appeal for Suarez
Prologue: On 26 June 2014, FIFA announced that Uruguay striker Luis Suarez would be banned for nine official international matches and from all football-related activity for four months, during which time he is not even allowed into any football stadium. The ban is the result of an incident between Suarez …
Read More »Italy bites the dust; Suarez makes a meal of Chiellini
It is irrefutable now. Uruguay and Liverpool striker Luis Suarez either needs a psychologist or a new dietician. For the third time in his professional career, Suarez bit an opponent during a football match today as, en route to a 1-0 win for the South American nation, the gifted attacker …
Read More »America’s got talent: Ronaldo grabs lifeline but US almost through
Forever the fashionista, Cristiano Ronaldo was fashionably late to the Brazil 2014 World Cup with a gorgeous assist to teammate Silvestre Varela as Portugal scored in the closing seconds of extra time today to hold the United States 2-2 at the Arena Amazonia. The result gave Portugal and Ghana a …
Read More »Messi-dona magic: Argentina squeezes past resolute Iran
Two games and two wins for Argentina with two spectacular goals from its captain and talisman Lionel Messi. So what’s the problem? It was a close shave again for starters. Iran offered Argentina’s attackers as much as courtesy as they might normally extend to UN nuclear weapon inspectors. Elsewhere in …
Read More »Ticos Time: Costa Rica stuns Italy and eliminates England
Show up at their World Cup venue. Get mauled. Repeat. Costa Rica had its game plan drawn up by the rest of the world but, thankfully, “El Ticos” decided to go its own way; and the result has been spectacular. Apart from a Spanish title defence that was shorter than …
Read More »Uruguay bites back: Suarez sinks England… but was he offside?
England was left tottering on the brink of elimination from Group D today after mad genius Luis Suarez bit twice to seal a 2-1 win for Uruguay. And if English fans are feeling sorry for themselves now, wait until they figure out that Suarez’s winner was probably offside. According to …
Read More »Adios amigos: Chile chucks out sorry Spain
There were punching bags that fought back more bravely; and babies who held on to their candy longer. Even when Spain was a genuine global superpower and its conquistadores colonised most of South America, the Spaniards never managed to get Brazil under their thumb. So what chance did they have …
Read More »Samba Boys fail to cross Mexican border
“Everybody out! Crawl back into whatever hole you came from!” Like a crabby parent who returned home too early, Mexico goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa spoiled the samba party yesterday with a defiant performance against the host nation as Mexico and Brazil played to a goalless draw at Fortaleza. Flip! On went …
Read More »Portugal loses its head as Germany makes flying start
The good news is that Portugal played like World Cup champions; the bad news is we mean the 2014 version of Spain and not the one that lifted the trophy, four years ago. After Spain’s 5-1 humbling to the Netherlands on Friday, there was more pain for fans in the …
Read More »Sloppy Argentina makes Messi W/Cup start
Argentina was not exactly fluent, there were umpteen misplaced passes in the final third and its two star strikers, Sergio Agüero and Gonzalo Higuain, look like they should be hosed down with WD-40. It was a largely sloppy performance from the World Cup contenders. But there was one Messi moment …
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